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Slipperduke

The Camden Cad
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
4,333
Location
North London
Jose Mourinho smoulders. I wanted to get through this feature without writing anything that might worry my new wife, but there you go, I’ve blown it in the first line. But he really does. He smoulders. He walks into the sweaty, over-crowded press room and sits there in front of the lights, staring down the barrel of about 20 camera crews, approximately 150 football journalists and all you can hear is a muffled crackling from him and the occasional sigh from us.

He is asked if he is happy with the result, but instead of answering he gives his inquisitor the same kind of look that I imagine the Queen gave to that chap who climbed into her Buckingham Palace bedroom back in the 1980s. A combination of disappointment and mild curiosity, as if a scientific specimen has jumped out of its beaker and he’s not sure what it will do next. Still he doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes a bite of a large shortbread biscuit.

He points at ‘Brian‘, the venerable pressroom steward. “This man,” announces Mourinho through a mouthful of crumbs, “brought me biscuits for three years. Tonight, he does so again. Thank you.” 150 football journalists wonder if they should write this down.

Some of his crumbs land on the late arrivals who are sitting on the floor in front of him like school children. They don’t seem to mind. Silence falls over the room again. Mourinho swallows.

“Excuse me,” he says and he slowly takes the cap off a bottle of water. No-one moves. Mourinho pours half a glass and drinks, one, two, three gulps. The empty glass is set down. He clasps his hands together. He leans forward. We lean forward. The tape recorders that have now successfully captured some 90 seconds of crunching, chewing, gulping and sighing seem to twitch in readiness on the table in front of him.

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, I am very happy.”

There is a pause. Mourinho sucks up the silence and then, when he feels we have earned his words with our patience, he begins. He speaks thoughtfully, with consideration and respect. He is happy to win, but not happy because Chelsea are unhappy. He is happy because Inter were the better side, something he mentions at least eight times. He is happy because he worked hard for this night, another theme he returns to frequently. He says ‘happy’ a lot over the course of the night, but the funny thing is that he never actually looks very happy. He barely even cracks a smile.

This isn’t glory for him, this is only what he expected. He never even considered defeat, so why be over-excited? He sits for twenty unsmiling minutes, answering questions in English and Italian, batting away the tricky ones as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Under the lights, his interpreter and his press officer are visibly sweating, but Mourinho continues simply to smoulder.

His obligations completed, he rises and slips away with only a brief ‘grazie’ to the crowd. Tape recorders are clicked off, 150 journalists chatter excitedly and, just for a moment, a faint coil of grey smoke seems to rise slowly above Mourinho’s empty chair.

This never used to happen with Avram Grant.
 
Last edited:

dloman

Manager
Joined
Aug 18, 2005
Messages
1,373
Got a feeling he will be back managing in these fair shores next season, who knows where but i wouldn't bet against it.
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,490
I don't think Mourinho's manner and unpredictability will appeal to United... He's a loose cannon of the highest order, flying off the handle whenever he sees fit and picking unnecessary fights just to save face.

I still think they'll go for Moyes.
 

southend4ever

I used to play a little.
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
8,756
The Managerial version of an Eric Cantona or Thierry Henry.
I only admire his swagger and confidence. How he can say what he pleases and deflect from daft questioning.
He is a good man.
 

southend4ever

I used to play a little.
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
8,756
this could be a good shout

Benitez to Real - hahahahahaha! They would be relegated in the league but might stand a chance of the champions league which has seen them knocked out in the first knockout stage for the last 5/6yrs.
 
Joined
Feb 17, 2004
Messages
19,752
Location
G69
I often forward these articles to the Mrs & she has asked me to post on her behalf that, in her opinion, this is one of the best pieces of football writing ever...
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,490
Benitez to Real - hahahahahaha! They would be relegated in the league but might stand a chance of the champions league which has seen them knocked out in the first knockout stage for the last 5/6yrs.

Rafa Benitez is a fantastic tactician.
 

southend4ever

I used to play a little.
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
8,756
Rafa Benitez is a fantastic tactician.

Rafa,

Thank you for your application to become Real Madrid's new manager. Unfortunately whilst you may be a fantastic tactician, you are no ****ing wizard or magician.

Kind Regards,

Florentino Pérez Rodríguez

kindly supported by Jose Mourinho going to Liverpool

mourinho.jpg
 

Napster

The Horse with no Name⭐
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
36,484
Location
The wilds of Kent
Rafa,

Thank you for your application to become Real Madrid's new manager. Unfortunately whilst you may be a fantastic tactician, you are no ****ing wizard or magician.

Kind Regards,

Florentino Pérez Rodríguez

kindly supported by Jose Mourinho going to Liverpool

mourinho.jpg

I don't need to justify what I have heard. Thank you.
 

Ron Manager

formerly Libertine
Joined
Jan 21, 2007
Messages
5,645
Location
Brisbane, Australia
Slipperduke - I'm going to blow some more smoke up your backside (oo-er missus)!

I forwarded that on to a Chelski supporting mate over here and he raved about the article. Well done mate.
 
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