"Radio Radio!" (A Musical Memoir)

[OldBlueLady]

St Saviour's YC, remember the days well! Oh and I hated that whey faced Tessa Wyatt!

 

[Rob Noxious]

St Saviour's YC, remember the days well! Oh and I hated that whey faced Tessa Wyatt!

Whey-faced?! Whaddayamean 'whey-faced'? She had a profound impression upon our Tone and did you know that she left him for (and later married) Richard O'Sullivan, whom she co-starred with in 'Robin's Nest'? I rather liked Paula Wilcox who was in 'Man About The House' with ROS previously...

 

[canveyshrimper]

Whey-faced?! Whaddayamean 'whey-faced'? She had a profound impression upon our Tone and did you know that she left him for (and later married) Richard O'Sullivan, whom she co-starred with in 'Robin's Nest'? I rather liked Paula Wilcox who was in 'Man About The House' with ROS previously...

Agree with you about Paula Wilcox, I remember her starring with the late Richard Beckinsale in The Lovers.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Whey-faced?! Whaddayamean 'whey-faced'? She had a profound impression upon our Tone and did you know that she left him for (and later married) Richard O'Sullivan, whom she co-starred with in 'Robin's Nest'? I rather liked Paula Wilcox who was in 'Man About The House' with ROS previously...

Yes, and that's precisely why! Horrible woman!

 

[Tinks]

So 'Solitaire's the only game in town' for old Andy, eh Tone? Well, it's chess, draughts and pool here on Plashet One, but I like to scuttle off to Mrs S' Occupational Therapy Department and play some of the CDs there instead. Mrs S is my 'OT' Tone - that's Occupational Therapist, if you didn't know. She's my 'key worker' whilst I'm recuperating from my little bout of hypomania I experienced recently. No need to be alarmed Tony - I'm all right now, as the song goes! I've got a good team of caring professionals behind me - my Consultant trick-cyclist Doc McNasty, my old pal The Big Shrimp, a Clinical Nurse Specialist no less, and an array of qualified and student psychiatric nurses all working on Plashet. Mrs S is the one who's been entrusted with seeing through my care programme though and she's helped me by overseeing my musical 'Book Of Dreams' which we gathered together in our 'In A Broken Dream' hot one hundred a few months ago now. I'm indebted to her Tony much as I understand you are with your good lady Debbie, who helped you through those bad times in your, ahem, wayward years following the break-up of your marriage to the lovely Tessa. I really felt for you then, Tone. You were on the afternoon slot in the late seventies when you used to talk perhaps a bit too openly about your upset and the Auntie paymasters decided you needed a bit of a rest too.

I think on reflection you were ahead of your time you know. Now everyone's at it, heart-on-sleeve, telling the public how it is for them, letting all their feelings out. I do it all the time, Tone. Well, Doc McNasty says it's important I do actually as to repress them only makes it worse apparently. But I guess we have to draw a line - a line beginning with 'P.' You know the one Tone, the one that separates the personal from the professional. I'm striving to get it bang on the way you do. It's just like my old mate Southchurch Groyney says - he runs the Ship Inn back on Harbour Head, Tone - "it's so easy to get wrong and so difficult to get right." He's a bit of a philosopher round our way Tone and he also writes a column for 'The Western Briton,' a lovely man and fantastic 'mine host' too. Always lets me and my Producer, Canvey, stay on for 'stoppybacks' after the public have been shown the door. Anyway, Tone, just so you know, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I'm striving to get it right just like you do. So here's another one for us jocks trying to make it alright now for the public once again. I remember this one being played all the time at those youth club discos, Tone - St. Saviour's Church Hall near Chalkwell Park, wasn't it? It was a revived forty-five, a re-release back then in '76 and dare I say it, had just a hint of raunchiness underneath that rock ballad swagger. You can't beat a bit of Free, Tone. Watch out, I'm gonna crank this up a bit and have a little swagger around Mrs S' studios whilst she's out doing 'good works' on the wards. Feel free to let your hair down too, Tone. Let's swagger, baby!

Good heavens I worked on Plashet ward for some time and have such great fond memories of my time there. Sad to say the "old buildings" will soon be gone.
Keep the stories coming

 

[Rob Noxious]

Good heavens I worked on Plashet ward for some time and have such great fond memories of my time there. Sad to say the "old buildings" will soon be gone.
Keep the stories coming

Thanks, Tinks - will do my best! More 'progress' in the Health Trust then...:nope:

 

[Rob Noxious]

5. Chicago - 'If You Leave Me Now'

So 'Solitaire's the only game in town' for old Andy, eh Tone? Well, it's chess, draughts and pool here on Plashet One, but I like to scuttle off to Mrs S' Occupational Therapy Department and play some of the CDs there instead. Mrs S is my 'OT' Tone - that's Occupational Therapist, if you didn't know. She's my 'key worker' whilst I'm recuperating from my little bout of hypomania I experienced recently. No need to be alarmed Tony - I'm all right now, as the song goes! I've got a good team of caring professionals behind me - my Consultant trick-cyclist Doc McNasty, my old pal The Big Shrimp, a Clinical Nurse Specialist no less, and an array of qualified and student psychiatric nurses all working on Plashet. Mrs S is the one who's been entrusted with seeing through my care programme though and she's helped me by overseeing my musical 'Book Of Dreams' which we gathered together in our 'In A Broken Dream' hot one hundred a few months ago now. I'm indebted to her Tony much as I understand you are with your good lady Debbie, who helped you through those bad times in your, ahem, wayward years following the break-up of your marriage to the lovely Tessa. I really felt for you then, Tone. You were on the afternoon slot in the late seventies when you used to talk perhaps a bit too openly about your upset and the Auntie paymasters decided you needed a bit of a rest too.

I think on reflection you were ahead of your time you know. Now everyone's at it, heart-on-sleeve, telling the public how it is for them, letting all their feelings out. I do it all the time, Tone. Well, Doc McNasty says it's important I do actually as to repress them only makes it worse apparently. But I guess we have to draw a line - a line beginning with 'P.' You know the one Tone, the one that separates the personal from the professional. I'm striving to get it bang on the way you do. It's just like my old mate Southchurch Groyney says - he runs the Ship Inn back on Harbour Head, Tone - "it's so easy to get wrong and so difficult to get right." He's a bit of a philosopher round our way Tone and he also writes a column for 'The Western Briton,' a lovely man and fantastic 'mine host' too. Always lets me and my Producer, Canvey, stay on for 'stoppybacks' after the public have been shown the door. Anyway, Tone, just so you know, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I'm striving to get it right just like you do. So here's another one for us jocks trying to make it alright now for the public once again. I remember this one being played all the time at those youth club discos, Tone - St. Saviour's Church Hall near Chalkwell Park, wasn't it? It was a revived forty-five, a re-release back then in '76 and dare I say it, had just a hint of raunchiness underneath that rock ballad swagger. You can't beat a bit of Free, Tone. Watch out, I'm gonna crank this up a bit and have a little swagger around Mrs S' studios whilst she's out doing 'good works' on the wards. Feel free to let your hair down too, Tone. Let's swagger, baby!

Phew! Excuse me Tone - just a bit outta breath giving it some big swagger around these studios! What a band Free were - the kings of the rock ballad. Paul Rodgers was some vocalist, eh Tone? Remember listening to his next band, Bad Company, on your old station Caroline. What was that song? Oh yeah...'Silver Blue And Gold.' Very sad song that Tone. I remember back in late '76 taking a 'mental health day' off school after the teenage Blue Lady finished with me at St. Saviour's Youth Club the Sunday night before. I think that was my first experience of depression come to think of it. I put Caroline on 'cause I was so sick of hearing Chicago's 'If You Leave Me Now' on Radio Fun. Bet that was a bummer of a record for you too Tone - I think Tessa had flown to 'Robin's Nest' by then, hadn't she? Don't think it did the lead singer much good either - poor bugger shot himself, didn't he? Anyway Tone, I think you should know that one of the mission statements of 'Radio Retro' is to help people with mental health problems. The Old Blue Lady, as she is now, well she's got a slot on 'Retro' too where she talks people through a few of their problems. She's an expert in this cognitive behaviour therapy stuff Tone - it's all the rage now. She taught me how to view my glass as half-full. And now, life is a whole lot better I can tell you. I'm like you in that jungle, taking joy from the simplest of things - the tranquility of a river, the shimmering of a heat haze, the smell of cherry blossom. Oh OK, I know they don't have cherry blossom in the jungle Tone, but you know what I mean! I love it all, Tone. I'm just high on life, just like you. I'm sure it gets annoying for some of our listeners sometimes, but who wants to be spreading misery around for heaven's sake? I know you're with me on this Tone, 'cause you were the guy who was always so cheerful every morning before I went off to school. I can't remember life without you on the radio Tone, so don't be getting any silly ideas about premature retirement 'cause if you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me...

 

[Rob Noxious]

6. Dr. Feelgood - 'Going Back Home'

Phew! Excuse me Tone - just a bit outta breath giving it some big swagger around these studios! What a band Free were - the kings of the rock ballad. Paul Rodgers was some vocalist, eh Tone? Remember listening to his next band, Bad Company, on your old station Caroline. What was that song? Oh yeah...'Silver Blue And Gold.' Very sad song that Tone. I remember back in late '76 taking a 'mental health day' off school after the teenage Blue Lady finished with me at St. Saviour's Youth Club the Sunday night before. I think that was my first experience of depression come to think of it. I put Caroline on 'cause I was so sick of hearing Chicago's 'If You Leave Me Now' on Radio Fun. Bet that was a bummer of a record for you too Tone - I think Tessa had flown to 'Robin's Nest' by then, hadn't she? Don't think it did the lead singer much good either - poor bugger shot himself, didn't he? Anyway Tone, I think you should know that one of the mission statements of 'Radio Retro' is to help people with mental health problems. The Old Blue Lady, as she is now, well she's got a slot on 'Retro' too where she talks people through a few of their problems. She's an expert in this cognitive behaviour therapy stuff Tone - it's all the rage now. She taught me how to view my glass as half-full. And now, life is a whole lot better I can tell you. I'm like you in that jungle, taking joy from the simplest of things - the tranquility of a river, the shimmering of a heat haze, the smell of cherry blossom. Oh OK, I know they don't have cherry blossom in the jungle Tone, but you know what I mean! I love it all, Tone. I'm just high on life, just like you. I'm sure it gets annoying for some of our listeners sometimes, but who wants to be spreading misery around for heaven's sake? I know you're with me on this Tone, 'cause you were the guy who was always so cheerful every morning before I went off to school. I can't remember life without you on the radio Tone, so don't be getting any silly ideas about premature retirement 'cause if you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me...

Don't know about you Tone but that Chicago track still depresses me. Glad to hear in your fab autobio 'Poptastic' that you managed to keep a good relationship with Tessa for your son Simon's benefit. Me and the Old Blue Lady have worked out a 'modus vivendi' too, so it just goes to show relationships are what you make them even if they don't work out as you once would have hoped. Anyway, Tone, that's quite enough sombre reflection. Mrs S has just popped her head 'round the studio door to tell me that she's planned a little 'rehab' trip for me as part of the preparation for me going back out into that big wide world again. And the great news is - we're going back home. Yep, Southend-on-Sea beckons for me. We're on our way to the seaside courtesy of public transport, so I'm just going to play you this little belter from one of my favourite bands, the Wilko-era Dr. Feelgood. They were from just over the water, Tone, over in Canvey, 'Oil City' on 'the Essex Delta.' Saw them many a time but the highlight was at our famous Kursaal on Christmas Eve, 1976. Don't know if you ever saw Wilko Johnson's famous bug-eyed, duck-walking telecaster-as-machine gun routine but when him and Lee Brilleaux were on stage together, there was some awesome static going on there, Tone! Check out this live version of 'Going Back Home,' opening track from the 'Southend Side' of 'Stupidity'. I reckon you'll be wanting to change your top twenty tracks in your appendix when you hear this, Tone! That searing guitar intro, that wild harmonica and the tightest rhythym section you ever heard. OK Tone, I defy you to keep still during this one! Hey, Tone, if my rehab goes to plan, then maybe I can take you to the premiere of 'Oil City Confidential' - Julien Temple's film about them - coming out next month? I'd be delighted, Tone - you'll need to get back to me on that though. OK, my solid gold broadcasting buddy, I'm outta here after this but I'll be back real soon and that's a promise!

 

[Rob Noxious]

7. Mott The Hoople - 'Saturday Gigs'

Don't know about you Tone but that Chicago track still depresses me. Glad to hear in your fab autobio 'Poptastic' that you managed to keep a good relationship with Tessa for your son Simon's benefit. Me and the Old Blue Lady have worked out a 'modus vivendi' too, so it just goes to show relationships are what you make them even if they don't work out as you once would have hoped. Anyway, Tone, that's quite enough sombre reflection. Mrs S has just popped her head 'round the studio door to tell me that she's planned a little 'rehab' trip for me as part of the preparation for me going back out into that big wide world again. And the great news is - we're going back home. Yep, Southend-on-Sea beckons for me. We're on our way to the seaside courtesy of public transport, so I'm just going to play you this little belter from one of my favourite bands, the Wilko-era Dr. Feelgood. They were from just over the water, Tone, over in Canvey, 'Oil City' on 'the Essex Delta.' Saw them many a time but the highlight was at our famous Kursaal on Christmas Eve, 1976. Don't know if you ever saw Wilko Johnson's famous bug-eyed, duck-walking telecaster-as-machine gun routine but when him and Lee Brilleaux were on stage together, there was some awesome static going on there, Tone! Check out this live version of 'Going Back Home,' opening track from the 'Southend Side' of 'Stupidity'. I reckon you'll be wanting to change your top twenty tracks in your appendix when you hear this, Tone! That searing guitar intro, that wild harmonica and the tightest rhythym section you ever heard. OK Tone, I defy you to keep still during this one! Hey, Tone, if my rehab goes to plan, then maybe I can take you to the premiere of 'Oil City Confidential' - Julien Temple's film about them - coming out next month? I'd be delighted, Tone - you'll need to get back to me on that though. OK, my solid gold broadcasting buddy, I'm outta here after this but I'll be back real soon and that's a promise!

Well hello again, Tony...you may not have been away, but I have. Yep, all the way to the seafront as a matter of fact. Mrs. S escorted me on a little 'Resocialisation' venture to check out my 'activities of daily living skills' to see if I'm ready to hit the world out there once more. Well, you'll be pleased to know that I can still buy a train ticket without any problem and cross the road without getting run over by the boy-racers. Anyway, I hear that you used to come to Southend in the eighties with your 'Sex and Soul Show' - too late to appear at our once-wonderful Kursaal, no doubt. It's a ten-pin bowling alley now, Tone - though I can still see how it used to look in its heyday just by the entrance concourse, when me and Nobby Snide used to go to those Saturday gigs in the mid-seventies. Thin Lizzy, Eddie & The Hot Rods, the Feelgoods - they all played there, Tone. My producer, Canvey, says he saw Rod Stewart and The Faces there too. Would have loved to have been there for that one. Don't know if these boys Mott The Hoople played there, Tony, but this song says it all about those days for me..."...and now the kids pay a couple of quid 'cause they need it all the same, it's all a game, a grown-up game." A couple of quid to see some fine bands back then? Try telling the kids of today that, Tone - they won't believe you. Well, I remember those Saturday gigs and it was true. It was a great time to be a teenager, alive and kicking at the Kursaal. I'll never forget those days, Tony - floating along the seafront before the gig, checking out who was on the way there, a quick one in The Minerva where those scary teds used to hang out and then a couple in The Kursaal's bar, maybe one or two more if the support was cack. I still dream about The Kursaal, Tone. The smell of afghans and joss sticks and the denim clad ruffians that used to frequent it. Happy days Tony, but part of me died when they stopped having bands there. I wish they could have kept it open, I really do. If there's one place where I wish I could be transported back to, it's there, late '76. But there's no point going over it again and again, Tone. It's gone. Doc McNasty says I've got to move on now. But you know, I don't want to Tone. 'Cause I belong there. And you know, just like you on Radio Fun back then, I think you do too. We're men out of time, Tony. But guess what? We've got our music and these old records will never die when there's jocks like me and you to keep the faith and our dreams alive. So this one's for me, you and those Saturday night giggers at The Kursaal. Do you remember the Saturday gigs? We do...

 

[Rob Noxious]

A Letter To Simon Mates, c/o 'Classic Old' Radio Station...

Dear Simon,

I hope that you don't mind me writing, but there's more than one thing I need to tell you. Now I hope that you won't get embarrassed by this but I believe that you are the nicest man on radio. I know that our lives are very different - there's you out there on your farm tending to your beloved horses and there's me stuck in Runwell pending my return to my morning slot on 'Radio Retro.' Anyway, Simon - that's neither here nor there. What I want to say is this: there is not a day that goes by when I'm not thinking of you. Yep, when the big hand of my 'FM247' clock hits number fifteen and the small hand has just eclipsed the number ten, I have to sit down and think of the time when you were the 'main man' of Radio Fun. You'll know what I'm talking about now, won't you ? That's right, Simes - that's when a whole nation would stop whatever they were doing to listen to 'Our Tune.' I guess you've heard all the stories about big beefcake lorry drivers pulling over to the hard shoulder and choking on their bacon butties when you pulled at our heart-strings with your tales of love and loss. Or more accurately, it was your listeners' tales of love and loss because that's why it was 'Our Tune.' We could all identify with those stories because they invariably struck a chord with our own lives. That's why I'm so keen to bring 'Our Tune' back to the airwaves, Simon, and I wondered if I could tempt you away from your rural idyll to broadcast for your beloved public once again. You wouldn't have to do too much - all we would be looking for at 'FM247' would just be a few words every now and then in those warm, avuncular tones that used to reassure us in those difficult times back in the late seventies and early eighties. I'd do the rest, I promise. I've taken the liberty of enclosing this little cassette tape with this letter which will give you a better idea of my proposal. As you can see, I've called it 'Our Tunes' ! I hope that you might find time to sit down yourself after you've 'mucked out' the horses and give this a listen over your mid-morning coffee and mini - kit-kat. My producer would love to hear from you and I would be delighted if between us we can touch the nation's hearts and minds once more!

Here's wishing you all the very best Simon and here's hoping that we can bring back the very best of British broadcasting. In the meantime, look after those lovely horses and remember I'm thinking of you.

Yours sincerely,

Shrimpero

(aka 'The Emperor')

 

[Rob Noxious]

8. The Who - 'I'm A Boy'

Dear Simon,

I hope that you don't mind me writing, but there's more than one thing I need to tell you. Now I hope that you won't get embarrassed by this but I believe that you are the nicest man on radio. I know that our lives are very different - there's you out there on your farm tending to your beloved horses and there's me stuck in Runwell pending my return to my morning slot on 'Radio Retro.' Anyway, Simon - that's neither here nor there. What I want to say is this: there is not a day that goes by when I'm not thinking of you. Yep, when the big hand of my 'FM247' clock hits number fifteen and the small hand has just eclipsed the number ten, I have to sit down and think of the time when you were the 'main man' of Radio Fun. You'll know what I'm talking about now, won't you ? That's right, Simes - that's when a whole nation would stop whatever they were doing to listen to 'Our Tune.' I guess you've heard all the stories about big beefcake lorry drivers pulling over to the hard shoulder and choking on their bacon butties when you pulled at our heart-strings with your tales of love and loss. Or more accurately, it was your listeners' tales of love and loss because that's why it was 'Our Tune.' We could all identify with those stories because they invariably struck a chord with our own lives. That's why I'm so keen to bring 'Our Tune' back to the airwaves, Simon, and I wondered if I could tempt you away from your rural idyll to broadcast for your beloved public once again. You wouldn't have to do too much - all we would be looking for at 'FM247' would just be a few words every now and then in those warm, avuncular tones that used to reassure us in those difficult times back in the late seventies and early eighties. I'd do the rest, I promise. I've taken the liberty of enclosing this little cassette tape with this letter which will give you a better idea of my proposal. As you can see, I've called it 'Our Tunes' ! I hope that you might find time to sit down yourself after you've 'mucked out' the horses and give this a listen over your mid-morning coffee and mini - kit-kat. My producer would love to hear from you and I would be delighted if between us we can touch the nation's hearts and minds once more!

Here's wishing you all the very best Simon and here's hoping that we can bring back the very best of British broadcasting. In the meantime, look after those lovely horses and remember I'm thinking of you.

Yours sincerely,

Shrimpero

(aka 'The Emperor')

"Greetings, Simon! Welcome to my world - the world of solid gold 'Radio Retro,' broadcasting almost live only on FM247, your personal radio waveband. How good is that, Simes ? See, your old mucker ... and I don't mean a horse reference there ... your old mucker Tony Sideburns taught me that the secret of broadcasting is to think of that one listener out there, so that it gets all close up and personal. And I know you know the secret too, Simes...oh yes, indeedy! Who else could have carried those 'Our Tunes' off like you did with that winning combination of earnestness and empathy, calm and compassion and assured authority ? Only you, Simes - you're a legend here on Radio Retro and my producer so wants to beckon you from your rural retreat to make the nation weep in unison once more! We can't deny the old boy that, can we ?

Anyway, Simes ... here's the first little tune for your 'Comeback Special.' I can't remember you playing many Who tracks back in the day, but this one has a special frame of reference for your Emperor. OK, it's like this ... see I get a bit shy saying it, but I'm known amongst my listeners for having a highly pronounced feminine side. I think that's down to my dear old mum Elsie, Simes. Back home in Southend-on-Sea, I grew up in unusual circumstances. See my dad died when I was very young and mum had probably more influence over me than what is commonly perceived as 'normal.' You can't see me as I'm saying this, but I'm doing that little apostrophe mime thing they do on the telly. That's when I say the word 'normal' - because Simon, seriously here, who has the right to say what's 'normal' and what isn't ? These are the kind of issues I like to discuss with my old friend and co-DJ on Radio Retro in our personal broadcasts. He's called 'The Captain' and we met at infants' school, in the playground at a lovely place called Earls Hall, around the time that this sensational single came out back in the sixties. Well, I stuck out a bit back then with my long hair and pig-tails. It wasn't the done thing for a boy to wear those school skirts, Simes. But dear old Elsie - she so wanted a girl and well, I guess I was before my time what with all the cross-dressing that goes on these days! Now stop smirking, Simes - this is serious. It's true, all of it. But I'd like to thank Elsie from the bottom of my heart because all the name calling and bare-knuckle boxing bouts in the Earls Hall playground toughened me up more than she could ever have imagined. But like you, Simes, I like to combine that with a bit of tenderness. So please can we dedicate this song to any boys or girls who "wanna come home all covered in mud." I know you'll find the right words to convey the sentiment here, Simes. You always do. Good luck and let me know how you get on..."

 

[Rob Noxious]

9. Cat Stevens - 'Remember The Days Of The Old Schoolyard'

"Greetings, Simon! Welcome to my world - the world of solid gold 'Radio Retro,' broadcasting almost live only on FM247, your personal radio waveband. How good is that, Simes ? See, your old mucker ... and I don't mean a horse reference there ... your old mucker Tony Sideburns taught me that the secret of broadcasting is to think of that one listener out there, so that it gets all close up and personal. And I know you know the secret too, Simes...oh yes, indeedy! Who else could have carried those 'Our Tunes' off like you did with that winning combination of earnestness and empathy, calm and compassion and assured authority ? Only you, Simes - you're a legend here on Radio Retro and my producer so wants to beckon you from your rural retreat to make the nation weep in unison once more! We can't deny the old boy that, can we ?

Anyway, Simes ... here's the first little tune for your 'Comeback Special.' I can't remember you playing many Who tracks back in the day, but this one has a special frame of reference for your Emperor. OK, it's like this ... see I get a bit shy saying it, but I'm known amongst my listeners for having a highly pronounced feminine side. I think that's down to my dear old mum Elsie, Simes. Back home in Southend-on-Sea, I grew up in unusual circumstances. See my dad died when I was very young and mum had probably more influence over me than what is commonly perceived as 'normal.' You can't see me as I'm saying this, but I'm doing that little apostrophe mime thing they do on the telly. That's when I say the word 'normal' - because Simon, seriously here, who has the right to say what's 'normal' and what isn't ? These are the kind of issues I like to discuss with my old friend and co-DJ on Radio Retro in our personal broadcasts. He's called 'The Captain' and we met at infants' school, in the playground at a lovely place called Earls Hall, around the time that this sensational single came out back in the sixties. Well, I stuck out a bit back then with my long hair and pig-tails. It wasn't the done thing for a boy to wear those school skirts, Simes. But dear old Elsie - she so wanted a girl and well, I guess I was before my time what with all the cross-dressing that goes on these days! Now stop smirking, Simes - this is serious. It's true, all of it. But I'd like to thank Elsie from the bottom of my heart because all the name calling and bare-knuckle boxing bouts in the Earls Hall playground toughened me up more than she could ever have imagined. But like you, Simes, I like to combine that with a bit of tenderness. So please can we dedicate this song to any boys or girls who "wanna come home all covered in mud." I know you'll find the right words to convey the sentiment here, Simes. You always do. Good luck and let me know how you get on..."

"Hope you've got some good material to work with from that last track, Simes. Just staying in the playground a bit longer, my co-DJ and esteemed old pal The Captain has asked me to dedicate a song to the teacher who used to run Earls Hall's footy teams - Mr. Cricko. Just a word here about 'The Cap' - as he's affectionately known on FM247, Simes - and it's this. He's not one to cultivate a public image like your Emperor ... no, he likes to remain in the background ... but like Mr. Cricko did, he sees everything. Well, The Cap just wants to say sorry - he ran the whole length of the pitch and stuck two fingers up to Mr. Cricko after he scored the winning goal against our rivals, Darlinghurst. See, Simes - the Cap was upset that Mr C had left him out of the Hall side in favour of a clod called Ginge Dullboy. However, Scotch Thomas cried off as it was a freezing morning that Saturday in Westcliff but luckily The Cap and his grand-dad had come along to watch. Brought his boots in case anyone got injured and lo and behold, he only scores the winning goal! Fantastic stuff, Simes - from the days of real 'Boys Own' adventures!

It takes me back too, Simes, this record. We used to really enjoy our playground footy. All of Earls Hall's finest were there - Ginge Dullboy, Perv and Scotch Thomas, even Shorty Mendip too. You'll notice these nomenclatural anomalies in our broadcasts, Simes - we can't really give out these lads' real names or their dads will come 'round. You know how it is. In the playground, every boy had a nickname - for example, the Thomas twins - 'Perv' and 'Scotch.' Perv got caught out playing in his room one day by Scotchy and never lived it down. Scotchy got caught raiding his dad Handlebar's drinks cabinet. Then there was The Cap - or 'Wiz Winegum' as he was called at school. He loved those winegums and he was such a 'wiz' with the school-work. I'm sure it's a boy thing going on here, Simes - I can't remember us having nicknames about girls, well not in those days of innocence in 'the old schoolyard.' I mean just look at dear old Cat Stevens - who ever heard of a boy called 'Cat'? Great record though, Cat - and here's hoping that it helps Mr. Cricko to forgive The Captain after all these years. Might be a tough one to make melancholic or mawkish, Simes - but if anyone can do it, you can! Anyway, good luck and let me know how you get on..."

 

[OldBlueLady]

Rob, watched "The Boat that Rocked" on the SOL coach the other week, you seen it? Right up your street I should imagine!

This is a great track btw!

 

[Rob Noxious]

Rob, watched "The Boat that Rocked" on the SOL coach the other week, you seen it? Right up your street I should imagine!

This is a great track btw!

Not seen it, Kay - all that's up my street ('Drunk Central') at the moment are a couple of seedy looking geezers hanging around outside 'The Studio Bar.' :unsure:

 

[OldBlueLady]

You HAVE to watch it Rob, the story of pirate radio and starring Bill Nighy who is fantastic in my book whatever he does! I don't watch many films these days, but this was good.

 

[Rob Noxious]

Solid gold FM247...

Is this like Radio Weetabix?

No - but it's like Radio Binfield!

FM247: This Is Radio Binfield!

Now available via Amazon ...

 

[Rob Noxious]

You HAVE to watch it Rob, the story of pirate radio and starring Bill Nighy who is fantastic in my book whatever he does! I don't watch many films these days, but this was good.

Thanks, Kay. One of the original DJs from Caroline died recently - Mike Ahern - and it was he who advised the real life Captain to get our book out via 'Lulu.' Another coincidence - the day I wrote to Tony Blackburn about it, The Cap told me that Tone had posted a video in tribute to Mike, who had just died ... :stunned:

RIP Mike.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Didn't listen to pirate much myself but was an avid fan of Luxembourg, especially Tony Prince, who had a big affiliation with the Osmonds!

 

[Rob Noxious]

Didn't listen to pirate much myself but was an avid fan of Luxembourg, especially Tony Prince, who had a big affiliation with the Osmonds!

You certainly liked those Salt Lake City boys, eh Kay?

Talking of Luxembourg - 'Fab 208' IIRC ? - check out Van Morrison's 'In The Days Before Rock 'n' Roll' and 'On Hyndford Street,' two of the most evocative paeans to the pirates this radio ham knows...

 

[OldBlueLady]

You certainly liked those Salt Lake City boys, eh Kay?

Talking of Luxembourg - 'Fab 208' IIRC ? - check out Van Morrison's 'In The Days Before Rock 'n' Roll' and 'On Hyndford Street,' two of the most evocative paeans to the pirates this radio ham knows...

Certainly did, the original "Prince" was the compere for the '75 gigs at Earls Court and had been pretty instrumental in getting them known in the UK back in the early 70s. And yes, it was indeed Fab 208 - I remember listening to the radio using an ear piece under the covers at night - and reception was always dire! Kids these days don't know they're born!!!