Ted Smith is articulating why he is retiring from playing aged 24. The former England Under-20 featured for Tottenham last summer when he looked for a club but made the decision the pressures of football are not for him.
“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t what I enjoyed,” he said. “I love the game and the training side of it but when it came to matchday pressures, it was always a bit too much for me. It was a long-time coming but I’m getting my head around it.”
While being a footballer is hailed as the best job in the world, Smith’s story shows the other side, where players are gripped with fear of what stares back at them when they open their Twitter feed after a match.
It echoes Gareth Southgate’s comment about loving the sport but disliking the industry.
Smith hopes his decision will inspire others, in any industry, to look at what they want from their careers. He was partly inspired by some of the rumours floating around Roots Hall when he left Southend last summer.
“A friend of the family was at a game and heard I’d started taking drugs, I don’t even drink let alone take drugs,” Smith said.
Smith hopes his decision will inspire others to look at what they want from their careers CREDIT: Getty Images
The truth was that he played for teams including Spurs Under-23 while out of contract. He also went to Swindon, Fleetwood and Bury but none of the deals were right. There was also that nagging feeling that he was not enjoying football.
“In your head you’re telling people that you’re giving up a job that is everyone’s dream. I suppose that is the hard bit,” he said. “When you get older things can change and it’s just being brave enough to come to terms it might not be for you. Even for people who aren’t in football, maybe they are in a job they are unhappy with and want to get out of. My story can maybe help people make a decision.”
Southend has been a breeding ground for goalkeeping talent, with Daniel Bentley moving to Brentford and Bristol City, while Nathan Bishop secured a move to Manchester United in January.
Smith was competing for the No 1 jersey when his shoulder blade split in half and he was out for 18 months. Criticism on social media had hurt when he was playing at a time when clubs and the PFA knew little about the effect it had on players as they rarely want to share it.
“After a game I’d go back and look on social media straight away and see what people were saying,” he said. “For 90 per cent of the time there was nothing but if there were two or three comments after a bad game, I’d hold onto it if I got criticised. It would affect me during the week. Instead of looking at the positives, the negatives would niggle at me.
“Social media is good for some things. Fans are just talking about the game they’ve just seen, which they of course have a right to do, but I ended up deleting my Twitter and eventually deleting my Instagram account as I found myself procrastinating on them at things I didn’t really need to be looking at it.
“You should enjoy games. It wasn’t for want of trying. I tried so hard to go into a game enjoying it but couldn’t. I tried everything. I built up that fear of playing a game for so long. I just can’t switch that off.
“I saw a sports psychologist. Deep down if I had a match I wouldn’t be excited. It would be the initial thought of dread and then it ingrained in me that I couldn’t get my head around it. I wish I could. But I look at it now and don’t want to take that opportunity to play a game away from someone else to progress and enjoy it.”
Smith says playing for England’s youth teams was one of the proudest moments of his career. He is still in touch with Harry Winks from his age group and played with the likes of Dele Alli, Ben Chilwell and Ruben Loftus-Cheek.
“They’ll never show it but it seems like they develop this coat of armour that nothing can get to them, which is amazing” he said. “I think Academies are looking into that and it is a big part of the game. The days are gone where it is just strength, conditioning and work on the field.
“I love watching Match Of The Day and seeing one of the boys I played with stepping on and performing. It’s great. That is the underlying thing….I hope everyone I played with over the years looks back and remember me as a nice person rather than for my goalkeeping.”
Smith has just started a goalkeeping glove company and is looking at online coaching to help others. He is undecided on what his long-term career will be, but he is open to opportunities in and outside of football.
“Just because I don’t want to perform in front of thousands of people, that’s okay,” he explains.
“There might be other people in this situation. I don’t know how many. They might say it is worth talking to someone to try and battle against this stress you put yourself on the game. I hope what I say can help other people realise there is more to life than putting yourself through the stresses of a football game.”
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