Rusty Shackleford
Banned
With no party looking capable of securing an overall majority, a hung parliament and a second election look likely. With that in mind, I believe a new political movement is required to shake off the current inertia and fill the electorate with a heady mixture of enthusiasm and terror.
I propose that I should be the leader of this new movement, which I have named 'The Shackleford Alliance'. Our policy positions will be deliberately vague, and our press releases and interviews will be filled with ridiculous promises and veiled threats to our enemies. This won't win me the new election, but it will establish me as a player in the country's political future.
After that, I intend to attempt a coup after a meeting in a pub. This will undoubtedly fail, and I'll have to spend a few years in chokey where I'll write a polemic call to arms called 'Mines and Campers'. This book will change the political landscape and I'll be swept into power. I will then invade Wales and Algeria and spend my time sleeping and trimming my moustache. It may all end in tears, but it will be one hell of a ride.
I propose that I should be the leader of this new movement, which I have named 'The Shackleford Alliance'. Our policy positions will be deliberately vague, and our press releases and interviews will be filled with ridiculous promises and veiled threats to our enemies. This won't win me the new election, but it will establish me as a player in the country's political future.
After that, I intend to attempt a coup after a meeting in a pub. This will undoubtedly fail, and I'll have to spend a few years in chokey where I'll write a polemic call to arms called 'Mines and Campers'. This book will change the political landscape and I'll be swept into power. I will then invade Wales and Algeria and spend my time sleeping and trimming my moustache. It may all end in tears, but it will be one hell of a ride.
