Things that should be punished with a custodial sentence

[Pubey]

Participating in a mexican wave at any sporting event.

(you can substitute the punishment for something more appropriate if you want).

 

[Uncle Leo]

Not having your ticket ready upon arrival at the barriers in a train/tube station.

 

[Pubey]

Putting your feet (with or without shoes) on a seat on public transport.

 

[LCBB]

Breaking wind at a super market check out .

 

[hockleyeast1964]

Overweight women wearing extremely tight lycra gym bottoms in public places.

 

[Benfleet A1]

Breaking wind at a super market check out .

Guilty as charged M'lord :blush:

 

[Pubey]

Tailgating.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Going to the 8 items only/baskets only checkout in the supermarket with either a basket full or a trolley load (as appropriate).

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

Reading the Mail.
Being a member of Scouting For Girls
Supporting West Ham
Saying 'how's you'
Turning a corner without indicating
Not asking nicely
Not acknowledging when I let you pass me on the street
Smoking then coming within a hundred feet of me
Putting a cd back in the wrong case
Wearing a band T shirt of a band you have never seen live
Ticket touting
Making disrespectful comments out loud so that I feel I need to step in and probably get my head kicked in
Banging on and on and on about the same point that you made on and on ago
Being more senior than me at work and being a dick as I'll have to tell you and find another job.....again
Marrying me then realising loads of things that were very evident before you married me
Not replying instantly to a msg that says 'I have 4 tickets, do you want one?'
Advertising
Cancelling my train
Saying 'we have already eaten, I assumed as you were home late you will already have eaten despite the fact you were stuck at work then came straight home'
Shouting out of a moving car
Not stopping at a crossing
Throwing litter on the floor
****ing me over in a way that I can't realistically reap my revenge (never happened, I am always avenged but the possibility is there)
Passing 'that' off as news
Passing 'that' off as fact

I mean I could go on, but we need to build more prisons

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I don't think that anybody who doesn't share my political views should be imprisoned. They should be tortured, and then shot.

 

[Benfleet A1]

Reading the Mail.
Being a member of Scouting For Girls
Supporting West Ham
Saying 'how's you'
Turning a corner without indicating
Not asking nicely
Not acknowledging when I let you pass me on the street
Smoking then coming within a hundred feet of me
Putting a cd back in the wrong case
Wearing a band T shirt of a band you have never seen live
Ticket touting
Making disrespectful comments out loud so that I feel I need to step in and probably get my head kicked in
Banging on and on and on about the same point that you made on and on ago
Being more senior than me at work and being a dick as I'll have to tell you and find another job.....again
Marrying me then realising loads of things that were very evident before you married me
Not replying instantly to a msg that says 'I have 4 tickets, do you want one?'
Advertising
Cancelling my train
Saying 'we have already eaten, I assumed as you were home late you will already have eaten despite the fact you were stuck at work then came straight home'
Shouting out of a moving car
Not stopping at a crossing
Throwing litter on the floor
****ing me over in a way that I can't realistically reap my revenge (never happened, I am always avenged but the possibility is there)
Passing 'that' off as news
Passing 'that' off as fact

I mean I could go on, but we need to build more prisons

After reading that little lot, on average, you should really hate me. :stunned:

 

[Pubey]

Different coloured football boots.

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

After reading that little lot, on average, you should really hate me. :stunned:

Well......maybe a rehabilitation program would suffice

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

Different coloured football boots.

Rusty 'different coloured football players'

that was satire, let it go

 

[jassyfa1]

People who decide to run instead of paying for their taxi ride.

 

[steveo]

Not having your ticket ready upon arrival at the barriers in a train/tube station.

It could be worse. We took my mum to some exhibition at Earls Court last year. Not having travelled on trains for years she was unfamiliar with the concept of sticking your ticket in a machine to open the barrier and had difficulty at Liverpool street mainline then on the tube.

Not to be defeated she decided to make a big effort when arriving at Earls Court. However, as there were so many people attempting to leave the station, the helpful staff had locked the gates open to speed things up. Which was handy till my mum got there and not realising the barrier was open stopped in front of it, rooted around in her bag for the ticket so she could put it in the slot.
Mum! Its open
Whats that luv?
The gate is already open.

I had to resort to pulling her through to alleviate the jam of people who were backed up behind her.

 

[Blue_Wes]

• Wearing a onesie in public.
• Playing music off your phone in public, especially on the train.
• People who get to the top of the stairs/through the door/barrier and then just stop to work out where they are going irrespective of the fact there's dozen's of people behind them who now can't to get off the stairs/through the doors/barrier because they've stopped in the one spot that block's everyone.
• People who don't pick up their dog ****
• Being a player in my Dream Team.

 

[londonblue]

People who cut me up on the pavement because they're not looking where they're going, and then expect me to apologise.

I respectfully ask the good people of Shrimperzone to authorise me to shoot these people on sight...please?

 

[Sandbach Shrimper]

Feeding pigeons, wearing a top that says 'geek' in big letters, and not indicating at roundabouts.

 

[DTS]

Long hair on men