What is hacking you off today?

[Mad Cyril]

Thanks guys, you're right, of course - it's just heart breaking as a mum (possibly as a dad, I don't know, hers just patted her knee and said "blokes change their minds"!) - to see your children having their hearts broken and being at rock bottom.

We'll help as much as we can, of course we will, but we have just downsized to pay off the debts accumulated arising from my divorce and all the crap the ex left me to sort out. We don't have the kind of money to be able to help her to the extent she needs.

We are definitely looking at her potentially renting it out, we reckon it should rent out for about £1,200 pcm which more than covers the mortgage payments, but still ideally would like to get him off the mortgage rather than having her tied to him for a few more years. She can't afford it on her own - what 25 year old could?

Does the mortgage permit sub letting?

Does the £1200 pcm cover the mortgage after tax and the inevitable cost of repairs and maintenance?

 

[Mad Cyril]

Not neccesarily. Now a lot of you make take umbrage at this, but I feel that a lot of men in their 20s/30s (not all) haven't grown up and are scared of losing their youth.

That doesn't give anyone the right to try and change them though.

 

[MK Shrimper]

That doesn't give anyone the right to try and change them though.

Agreed but a comitted relationship is about compromise. You can't act like a singleton anymore, but at the same time you need time apart to blow off steam. In my eyes, it's when that balance falls down that problems arise.

 

[Shrimpersfan]

I guess it's the cost of houses/rents, student loans, job instability that doesn't help either. I had none of that in my 20s, I bought a flat in London for 40K, moved in my (now ex) partner. I still went clubbing/drinking but a lot of the time it was with her. I see people on FB who do a "lads holiday" to Vegas/Majorca etc, despite being in a relationship, and think, really?

I don't see a problem with going on holidays with your mates while being in a relationship. I've been with my wife for 10 years but go on the occasional stag do and lads weekend away. I suppose it depends on the level of "ladiness" involved

 

[MK Shrimper]

I don't see a problem with going on holidays with your mates while being in a relationship. I've been with my wife for 10 years but go on the occasional stag do and lads weekend away. I suppose it depends on the level of "ladiness" involved

Perhaps I'm an old fart. I would imagine I could get a pass for a weekend or a stag (mate is threatening to have one if he sorts his nuptials out) but I'm not sure I'd really want a week in some East European knocking shop or "fun-in-the-sun" with 20-somethings who look at me with nothing but pity.

 

[GBJ]

Agreed but a comitted relationship is about compromise. You can't act like a singleton anymore, but at the same time you need time apart to blow off steam. In my eyes, it's when that balance falls down that problems arise.

Reading between the lines, I think I see what you’re getting at, and I’d have to agree with you tbh. Women in general are simply unreasonable

 

[Shrimpersfan]

Perhaps I'm an old fart. I would imagine I could get a pass for a weekend or a stag (mate is threatening to have one if he sorts his nuptials out) but I'm not sure I'd really want a week in some East European knocking shop or "fun-in-the-sun" with 20-somethings who look at me with nothing but pity.

I suppose it depends on what you as the individual wants out of the weekend. I went on a stag to Benidorm last year and hated 90% of it. Trying to arrange a much more civilized weekend to Valencia in October. Now that's more my type of lads weekend.

 

[MK Shrimper]

I suppose it depends on what you as the individual wants out of the weekend. I went on a stag to Benidorm last year and hated 90% of it. Trying to arrange a much more civilized weekend to Valencia in October. Now that's more my type of lads weekend.

Bit of wine tasting, bit of tapas, bit of the local sights. I like the sound of that.

 

[Shrimpersfan]

Bit of wine tasting, bit of tapas, bit of the local sights. I like the sound of that.

Exactly! The Science and Culture Park looks mighty impressive! Plus I may be able to catch a La Liga game!

 

[RHB]

Exactly! The Science and Culture Park looks mighty impressive! Plus I may be able to catch a La Liga game!

You are @Tangled up in Blue and I claim my £5.

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

You are @Tangled up in Blue and I claim my £5.

Ha! Last went there on a weekend trip some years ago now, to meet up with my wife (doing the Bac English orals there).Enjoyed the old town (tapas & vino/beers etc).Must confess we also paid a visit to the Fine Arts museum since Science is not really my thing.Only previous visit was to La Mestalla to see Espanyol in the Copa del Rei final against Deportivo,which Espanyol won.

Would agree with Shrimpersfan about Benidorm.Horrible place.

Edit.Ps Do take in a game at La Mestalla if you can .It's a wonderful, old style, traditional working class stadium,situated slap bang in the centre of town.

 

[Benfleet A1]

My lucky dip for tonight is anything but.

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

I don't see a problem with going on holidays with your mates while being in a relationship.

I would still love to, but
A. Have lost far to many good mates over the last 10 years, aged between 50-62.
B. Most of the close mates still with us, would probably in bed by 9pm, wearing their nightshirt with matching hat complete with a bobble on it!! ( S.O & TSNB exempt from that list! ).

 

[OldBlueLady]

Have really enjoyed reading your responses, I guess we will know more by this time on Sunday. I don't believe there is another person involved, his main love has always been the adrenaline hit he gets with his Nissan skyline and his BMXing, she tried to embrace that too. I think it's that dreaded 7 year itch thing rearing its head.

She's a bit brighter today and actually has some sleeping tablets from the docs to help through.

We'll investigate thoroughly the rental side when we know what the position is but I do know that, as each day passes, she's falling a little bit more out of love with him and the house.

Thank you all for your comments and for reassuring me that many of you are actually really decent blokes when it comes to relationships!

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

Thank you all for your comments and for reassuring me that many of you are actually really decent blokes when it comes to relationships!

Having seen that pic of you at 14, shame I didn't know you then. As i'd have taken you to the cinema, & brought you a bag of popcorn!.
And after that who knows.....!. ( old man thinking badly! ).

 

[Benfleet A1]

Having seen that pic of you at 14, shame I didn't know you then. As i'd have taken you to the cinema, & brought you a bag of popcorn!.
And after that who knows.....!. ( old man thinking badly! ).

*Checks there are no photos of my 15 year old daughter out there. Just in case*

 

[OldBlueLady]

Having seen that pic of you at 14, shame I didn't know you then. As i'd have taken you to the cinema, & brought you a bag of popcorn!.
And after that who knows.....!. ( old man thinking badly! ).

Haha!!! Sweet of you!

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Have really enjoyed reading your responses, I guess we will know more by this time on Sunday. I don't believe there is another person involved, his main love has always been the adrenaline hit he gets with his Nissan skyline and his BMXing, she tried to embrace that too. I think it's that dreaded 7 year itch thing rearing its head.

She's a bit brighter today and actually has some sleeping tablets from the docs to help through.

We'll investigate thoroughly the rental side when we know what the position is but I do know that, as each day passes, she's falling a little bit more out of love with him and the house.

Thank you all for your comments and for reassuring me that many of you are actually really decent blokes when it comes to relationships!

It sounds like this has all come to early for this guy. It would probably have happened no matter who he was in a relationship with. He wants to hang on to his fast and furious side. He's not ready for the serious things in life. He wants the freedom to do what and when he wants. When he finally grows up, he will realise what he's lost because of the life he has chosen. In five years time, he will have a different mindset. He will slow down. He will probably enjoy and accept the slower pace of life. Adrenaline things become less exciting and needed. All this is him. Your daughter has done nothing wrong. It's his loss

 

[kaymac]

How old is your daughter, OBL?

 

[OldBlueLady]

How old is your daughter, OBL?

She's 25, they've been together over 6 years and bought their house together 2 and a half years ago.