Question Your least favourite Southend XI (not based on ability)

[Massimo Giovanni]

This thread is giving me flashback cold sweats and needs to be shut down on the grounds of public decency and health and safety.
Dickinson.........took a reasonable penalty & that's about it from him; Oh and the other bad news stuff.
Fatty Ricketts was just SAD.

 

[DTS]

Struggled with this one. When I was young ie 1967-80 ish most players were gods so obviously none of them. Any player who got us up the league or kept us there also gets out of jail. That just leaves, mainly the To**ers who were around in the dark days of 97-2005:

Carl Emberson-s**t
Brian Barry-Murphy-hit on my 16yr old daughter a couple of years ago & s**t
Jamie Stuart-Junkie & s**t
Scott Malone-s**t
Mark Warren-s**t
Gordon Connelly-s**t
Mario Walsh-s**t
Mick Gooding- should have retired before we signed him,so, s**t
John Gymer-s**t
Michael Ricketts- so much expected but complete s**t
Drewe Broughton- donkey & s**t

Manager Dick Bate s**t

Subs.
Martyn Margetson, Martyn Booty, Mark Hone, Mark Tinkler, Daryll Sutch, Barry Conlon & Matt Paterson- all s**t

Patterson and Hone both very good calls.

 

[DTS]

This thread is giving me flashback cold sweats and needs to be shut down on the grounds of public decency and health and safety.
Dickinson.........took a reasonable penalty & that's about it from him; Oh and the other bad news stuff.
Fatty Ricketts was just SAD.

Funny as I thought Dicko was decent.

 

[Ricey]

Patterson and Hone both very good calls.

Paterson!!!

There is only 1 t.

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

Paterson!!!

There is only 1 t.

Correction, there are 2 t's in TIT.

 

[DTS]

Paterson!!!

There is only 1 t.

I hate him so much I refuse to acknowledge his name.

 

[ian_the_girth]

why so little hate of Dave Morley, worst player in our history to have played (started) over 50 games.

Neville Southall

Martny Booty
Chris Perkins
Lewis Hunt
David Morley

Adrian Clarke
Phil Gridlet
Dave Regis

Trevor Fitzpartick
Daniel Webb
MaMatt Harrold

 

[* ORM *]

Southall. Nuff said
Johnny **** - had a throw and **** all else. Ha ha t u r d gets the **** treatment or maybe I did type Herd with the same result
Barrett- still failing to see what he had other than the ability to prove to the fans he had blue blood. Truly the most ever rated player of all time. UTTER CACK and personally at fault for probably 50% of all goals conceded where he played.

That'll do nicely before bed ! Will have nightmares looking at some of these names I'd chosen to forget. Coleman Jeezus !!!!

 

[Sandbach Shrimper]

You don't like northerners do you, Dave? Found it more difficult to do this than the favourite 11, naturally as a fan of the team you like more players than you dislike. Anyway, here's the XI I came up with:

GK: Carl Emberson - ex Col Ewe and a terrible goalkeeper, couldn't catch a cold. Got a lot of abuse from the stands.

RB: Kerrea Gilbert - Couldn't think of an obvious right-back but I chose Gilbert as I think he's lucky to have had the career he's had at Arsenal and Leicester, and has now found his rightful place at Maidenhead United
CB: Mohsni - Immature nutter who was given too many second chances by the club and fans. Arguably cost us an FA Cup tie against Liverpool, his sending off after 20 minutes in his return against Northampton took the biscuit and it was disgraceful that he got to play in the JPT final (and was at fault for the 2nd goal). Wasted talent
CB: Mark Warren - Liked him when he was here, a old-school psycho centre-half, but then he inexplicably left for a career in non-league
LB: Jamie Stuart - not a nice piece of work IIRC, and didn't he get done for drugs once?

AM: JCR - Nothing personal against him but such a frustrating player, full of running and tricks but no end product. Then he scored that cracking goal against us for Barnsley.
CM: Bailey - Mouthy ugly thug. Perfect for Millwall
CM: Christophe - Just typical French

F: Liam Dickinson - Yeah he's a decent striker and scored a few but I found him flash (bright boots, wore tights once) and lazy - for a big man he hardly ever jumped for aerial balls. Now seems to spend half his time tweeting about TOWIE.
F: Tes Bramble - Gave us some highlights but he was lazy and now in jail for rape
F: Most of the short-term loans we had under Sturrock - Jarvis, German, Fairhurst. All useless

 

[Firestorm]

Keeley
Paul Roberts
Hatter
Westley
Ramsey
Nelson
Silkman
Kellock
O Callaghan
Whymark
Richard Young

Subs Lampard
Welch
Hone
Southall
Mcnally
Byrne

Manager Bate

Many an afternoon spent on the Northbank mocking one or more of the first XI with dear old Harry and others. several of the subs were a bit later

 

[SouthLondonShrimper]

Gk: Emberson- Just for the fact he was Wignalls son in law.
LB: Nicolau- You were in the youth team at Arsenal not the 1st team
RB: Booty- Never got out of 1st gear and just lumped it forward
CB: Whelan- Very nice human being, awful player.
CB: Mohsni- No player is ever bigger than their club.
MF: JCR- Just looked like a c@@k and swanned around the pitch like he owned the place
MF: Maher- Never have I seen a player perfect the art of sideways and backwards passing, utter tosh and the stereotypical fans favourite seen as loyal when in fact he probably played it safe at Southend knowing he was a 1st team regular.
MF: Bailey- Ginger.
FD: Jimmy Corbett- just seeing him walk through the car park 2 hours before kick off scoffing large chips and battered sausage was enough for me to realise he didnt take his profession seriously
FD: Danny Webb- Never understood how someone could be so arrogant playing for a league 2 side struggling to survive and also be so rubbish.
FD: Leon Clarke- See Webb and JCR comments.

 

[FarmdogSUFC]

Too young to have a complete list of positions, so in no particular formation whatsoever:

GK: Joyce - Don't really have a preference on this position, but he played about 2 times and was **** so he has to be selected.
RB: Baldwin - Didn't mind him in his first spell here, but came back and was dog****. Also an ex scummer.
CB: Mohsni - Would probably make my list of favourite players as well but he's a ****, liability, loved the limelight, and probably thinks he's better than he is. Tit
CB: Gilbert - Northern, moaned at everything, blamed everyone but himself and made me wear a neck brace for 2 seasona where he kept lumping the ball forward. Useless.
LB: Malone - I honestly thought he was dog**** and a complete ****. Looked like he weighed 5 stone. **** off.
RM: Revell - Thought he was terrible. Done my head in.
CM: Christophe - Joke right?
CM: Bailey - Ginger, nuff said.
LM: Soares - Biggest waste of space ever, I'd do a better job than that pathetic excuse.
ST: Harrold - Ginger **** that celebrates in front of us every time he scores, which is every time we play against him. Wish I knew where he lived so I could just ruin his life.
ST: Paterson - Absolute ****. Thought he was class as well which was embarrassing.

 

[steve54]

I can't believe no ones mentioned Barry conlon

 

[* ORM *]

I can't believe no ones mentioned Barry conlon

Shhhhhh you'll open floodgates. There are some names never to be uttered again :smile:

 

[adambarrettismyfather]

ive tried to not hate a player while he wears the shirt, but there are a few such as peter gilbert, emberson, griemink, constantine, JCR, midson, peter clarke and malone who i would never clap or sing for and am glad they left and hope to never see any of them do well

 

[Kevin Hogg]

Only one appearance on the bench for Frank Lampard??? THE least interested player that I have ever seen play for Southend United. He could obviously play a bit...but if you cannot be bothered...???

 

[palexander]

GK - Southall - so excited when we signed him, couldnt wait for him to leave after!
RB - Adam Locke - when he got moved to RB. Just didnt like him, orange faced loser!
CB - Rob Newman - Slow as a player, crap as a manager
CB - Dave Morley - doesnt really need an explanation. We used to call him High Tower for some reason?
LB - Christian Hyslop - but harsh as playing backup to Powell, but his haircut offended me!
MF - Gordon Connelly - conning a living off of football
MF - Alan McCormack - Urgh, hated him in the end. The flash cross field pass he tried that went about 50 yards the wrong way towards the end of his spell...
MF - Derek Payne - dunno why I dont like him - always appreciate him thumping Speedie too.
CF - Jason Lee - saw his hattrick debut and called him sh*t right then, proved right!
CF - Matt Paterson - bottler, lightweight - just awful
CF - Tony Richards - So many crap strikers to choose from!

SUBS: Paul Moran, Carl Emberson, Peter Gilbert, McDonough (I was pretty young when first saw him play, so probably never saw his best, but just didnt like him!)

 

[Chaucer]

GK - Southall - a legend in his early days but by the time he reached us was fat, old, useless and kept Royce out of the team. Total waste of time and money having him on loan.

DEF - Ramsey - one of my first memories of watching in the 80's was how utter sh*te he was. Amazingly enough, my O's supporting Uncle (family so we will let him off) absolutely rated him!
DEF - Peter Gilbert - absolute toilet as many people on hear already know
DEF - Kerrea Gilbert - must be that surname - hyped up as he played for Arsenal and was absolute pony. I would rate Mark Hone above him he was that bad
DEF - Malone - weighed about 5 stone and nicknamed piggy by the people around me - was the worst in long line of cr*p loan left backs we had for a few seasons, most annoying thing was he looked pretty useful when he returned last season (can't remember with which club though)

MID - Connelly - had one great half against Brighton i think in a whole season that he managed to stay in the side, rest of it absolute gash. Always seemed to be pointing at the ball without ever going near it.
MID - Bailey - any admiration or respect i had for him was lost when he got JFC sent off in his first return to the Hall after leaving.
MID - Soares - another one who managed to have a run in the side without ever producing anything. Waste of time, I even preferred Zaboub

FOR - N'Diaye - worst player I have seen put on the Blues shirt and showed the naivety of Alvin for taking him on when he hadn't even looked at him (although to be fair Coubault who he signed at the same time was decent). Zero control and couldn't trap a bag of cement. Played about six games and then "Pepe" was off.
FOR - Tony (Pony) Richards - nickname says it all
FOR - Graeme Jones - massively overhyped by Newman - couldn't hit a barn door, only lasted a season.

 

[Sleaford Shrimper]

Maybe I missed it, but no one seems to have mentioned Paul Byrne who seemed to get fatter and less mobile with every game he played.

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Kevin Maher

Kevin Maher
Kevin Maher
Efe Sodje
Kevin Maher

Kevin Maher
Carl Hutchings (honestly can't believe you've all left out this utter***t)
Luke Guttridge

Lee Barnard
Leon Constantine
Kevin Maher