Who would have thought that old 'Grimface' Weller could write such lovely songs Tony? Off air, he seemed more interested in that old lost cause socialism and supporting the miners back then in '84. Hey, that reminds me. You had to go 'off air' yourself didn't you back in '73? That's right, for telling the miners they should go back to work! You old rascal, Tony - your paymasters at 'Auntie' didn't approve and they suspended you from your late morning slot. A bad time for you all round - that bearded 'Knowall' fella had usurped your breakfast show and now you were twiddling your thumbs in limbo. A bit like your Emperor here at Runwell actually. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to extend my charity work here on hospital radio - 'Runwell Radio' actually - but I don't quite get the feedback that I've come to expect on 'Radio Retro' and I'm just itching to get back on board that pirate radio ship moored off the Cornish coast, getting cards and letters from people I don't even know. My cat Oscar's back there too, Tone, and I'm missing him terribly. I try to get him to purr into the mike after songs I like so the public know they've got his seal of approval. Just like you did with your dog Arnold all those years ago - "WOOF! WOOF!" - remember? Astonishing, Tony, you and your little gimmicks! Entertainers and animals, Tony - always a bit of a risk. You'll remember one smoothie who carried it off with some bare-faced cheek, I bet...yep, you know the guy, the 'Cardigan King of Crooners' Tone...the one and only Andy Williams. He was the one who discovered my Old Blue Lady's beloved Osmonds and had that dancing bear on his show. My mum Elsie loved him - she'd sit bolt upright in her rocking chair when he came on, Tony, and I never ever saw her so animated! And I remember watching Top Of The Pops with her back in the winter of '73 when he's singing this next song and she's transfixed by all his restrained emotion - I get it now Tone 'cause she was all by herself too, but back then I used to take the mickey not realising that pop songs could be serious too.
It was only years later - after you'd broken up with the lovely Tessa Sideburns and were consigned to Junior Voice on Saturday mornings - when I was feeling all lonely up in the smoke that I really got this song. I've been reminded of it a lot lately stuck here on the ward, missing all those I hold dear - my producer Canveyshrimper, my fellow DJs Moridin, MKS, Steveo, Blueblood and Brettie Angell - and even Lord Football, who does the 'Newsbeat' slot and still supports the miners. Being away from Harbour Head has brought it home how much I miss these guys. Not to mention my Community Psychiatric Nurse, the aforementioned Old Blue Lady. Oh yeah, there's a guy who's usurped my breakfast show too, Tony - Nobby Snide, known as 'The Captain' when on air - so he better beware as The Emperor's coming back soon to reclaim his throne. In the meantime, Tone, we'll say "less talk, more music" and I'll play this record for both of us. But before I do, please remember that you're never alone when you're listening to FM247...now take it away, Mr. Cardigan King of the Crooners...