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steveo

mine to stay the same please
Joined
Aug 30, 2005
Messages
7,545
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side, underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash to hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying a single £1 Coin resting inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the £1 as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco Super Store. There, he surprised her in the Produce Department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and, as the poor unsuspecting woman slumped to the floor and drew her last breath, the Manager of the Produce Department stumbled, unexpectedly, onto the murder scene.

Unwilling to leave any living witnesses, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the Produce Manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared . . . . .

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"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO!
 
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