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  1. Slipperduke

    Maybe Just A Shandy

    Harry Redknapp has always had a slightly jaundiced take on modern football. He doesn't care much for vitamin supplements and sports psychology, he'd rather talk old fashioned motivation than 'visualisation' and he doesn't feel bad about swearing at his players. Earlier this season I saw him...
  2. Southampton Shrimper

    SZ Widescreen

    My view of the Zone appears to have widened - it is now taking up the full width of my screen, rather than a band down the middle. I seem to remember owners talking about wanting to do this some time ago, but have not seen any great announcement about it, so I'm wondering is it just me? Whilst...
  3. If Trafalgar was today..

    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy!" Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation...
  4. toellandback

    Friday jokes

    I see MFI are on the brink of collapse.. Very much like the wardrobes I bought from them. --- What do you call lesbians in a field full of dildos? Squatters. --- My father in law handed me a note on my wedding day saying, "Goods delivered are non-returnable." I handed it back and said...
  5. Southend_Lady

    Recommend me a Chinese Restaurant

    I had a table booked at the lovely Jade Palace in Wickford tonight, I have just called to confirm the booking and been told that they are starting their Christmas menu tonight which is not quite what we wanted. I have decided to go elsewhere now and was wondering if anyone could recommend me a...
  6. chadded

    The 'Stan

    First of all, I'm writing this from my perspective of the last six months, I'm no hero, but plenty of my collegues are. Hopefully no one will think I'm writing this is order to show off, or to earn rep. Indeed, please don't rep me for this at all. I realise I'm probably not the only serviceman...
  7. Ricey

    Photoshop People??

    Hi people was wondering if you can help me we need a new badge made up for work with a new company taking over. One of the guys wanted me to see if I could do it. I said no but I know some people who might be able to help me out cause they are such a great bunch of people. ;) Right I want...
  8. South Bank Hank

    Zone Update ShrimperZone Navigation Bar / Links

    As many have noticed, the links in the Navigation bar have changed as part of the ShrimperZone site/forum integration. The following links (of which some were previously on the original nav-bar) have now been added to the Quick Links menu on the right: New Posts Subscribed Threads User...
  9. ldnfatso

    Pies or Hotdogs or Burgers??

    What do you eat at a game if anything? or or
  10. scrounger

    Actual Call Centre Conversations

    Probably seen them before but made me laugh: Actual call centre conversations !!!!! Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Customer: 'It was on the door to the...
  11. Davros

    Tiffins in Southend (near seafront)

    anyone care to divulge any reviews of this place. Walk past it quite often, and am tempted to try, but would like to know what the Zone thinks... a) quality b) Price c) Menu range d) Atmosphere cheers Davros
  12. Slipperduke

    Liverpool Not Out Yet

    Liverpool fans must be feeling numb by now. There's only so much bad news you can take before you end up rocking backwards and forwards in the corner of the room, dribbling on your shoes and the weekend defeat to Barnsley was the final straw for most long-suffering Reds. Never has there been...
  13. Winkle

    Computer says no!!!

    The beloved switched on my P.C today and an error came up saying something like "A windows file is missing,system cannot start because of a corrupt file" or along thows lines. Any way it gave her the option to R to repair which she did and another menu came up giving her the option to resore...
  14. Southminster_Shrimper

    The Most Bizarre Thread - Index (Pages 79-145)

    THE BIZARRE THREAD – SUMMARY OF PAGES 79-145 Names key: Mr RG - BrettieAngel Mrs RG - Vange_Shrimper S_S - Me I_S - Irish Shrimper Huttons - SUFCHutton and Amy Special Announcement ·...
  15. Yorkshire Blue

    Southend United squad expressed as pizzas

    Southend United squad expressed as pizzas through the latest takeaway menu numbers stuffed through my door Especially for glasgowsufc Darryl Flahavan - Cheese and Tomato Simon Francis - Farmhouse Che Wilson - Hawaiian Lewis Hunt - Classic Peter Clarke - Siciliana Adam Barrett - Beefeater Mark...
  16. TrueBlue

    TRUE BLUE finds Kebab open at lunchtime for work!!!!

    AHHH an office kebab being tucked away by myself this afternoon in the office! superb this shall now be a regular thing on the lunchtime menu for work! I give you the opening moment with TB and donner kebab with garlic mayo!!!
  17. Southampton Shrimper

    The Goal Wall

    Here's a football game for you to try. It's based on a regular feature of a long-running Saturday night sports show on German TV station ZDF. At the end of each week's show, they invite all their guests to have six shots at their goal wall, the Torwand. All the great and good of German football...
  18. The Bank letter :)

    Following on from Sam's letter to the bank .....:p Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account...
  19. DTS

    Settle my lunch time debate.

    Ben from work and I were having our daily lunch. We went to one of the many grotty non-english speaking cafe's in Borough High Street. Now I went for a semi-healthy Carbonara as I am remotely trying to be a bit sensible with my food. Ben is a big old lad and really does not care what he eats as...
  20. Uncle Leo

    Five go mad in Sunderland. Or have a few beers anyway...

    Here's a review of Saturday in Sunderland, courtesy of Statski.... I think when the fixtures came out at the start of the season the away day trip to Sunderland ranked high upon peoples away games to do. One hell of a way to go for 90 minutes of football but seeing The Shrimpers playing in a...
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