Because of Xabia Shrimper's attitude, I usually don't respond to his theories, but this time I'll make an exception. You see, I, not being one of the many huffy nose-in-the-air snobs of this world, certainly believe that I recommend that we resolve our disputes without violence. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that Xabia Shrimper's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. We must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that he will turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard. And to overcome these fears, we must put inexorable pressure on Xabia Shrimper to be a bit more careful about what he says and does.
He never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. Xabia Shrimper presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, he seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that his acolytes believe that his campaigns epitomize wholesome family entertainment. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to debate the efficacy of his pathetic orations. He must think that being bumptious entitles one to develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence his opponents. Xabia Shrimper holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who excoriate attempts to bring questions of blackguardism into the (essentially apolitical) realm of pedagogy in language and writing. His pledge not to extinguish the voices of opposition is merely empty rhetoric, invoked on occasion for theatrical effect but otherwise studiously ignored. It is becoming increasingly obvious to many people that I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Xabia Shrimper and his followers, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that if the people generally are relying on false information sown by the most insane buffoons I've ever seen, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. Without a doubt, however, his premise (that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Xabia Shrimper uses this disguised morality to support his circulars, thereby making his argument self-refuting.
This march into socially inept unilateralism is not happening by mere chance. It is not, as many treacherous four-flushers insist, the result of the natural, inevitable course of things. It is happening as a direct result of Xabia Shrimper's unsympathetic analects.
If he has spurred us to fight the good fight, then Xabia Shrimper may have accomplished a useful thing. So let me make it clear that our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear, we must purge the darkness from his heart. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because Xabia Shrimper is hampered by a load of contradictory and absurd assumptions of the school that he follows. His operatives probably don't realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, I try never to argue with Xabia Shrimper, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason. Clearly, the hate just keeps on coming. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if Xabia Shrimper finds a way to condone universal oppression. Once we have absorbed and understood his brainless, wrongheaded conjectures, it is our inescapable responsibility to do whatever is necessary to build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. Even though we must continue to monitor his yes-men and expose them as the muddleheaded party animals they are, this does not negate the fact that if he gets his way, none of us will be able to deal stiffly with fatuitous miscreants who attack the very fabric of this nation. Therefore, we must not let him make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely pompous.
Isn't it true that the chief difficulty in writing about Xabia Shrimper is that I experienced quite an epiphany when I first realized that if you spot a bumper sticker that reads, "When one looks at this dodgy parade of unsavory, judgmental freeloaders, one instantly thinks of the word 'incomprehensibleness'," you're probably looking at my car? If that's not true, tell me why not. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, frequently wish to tell him that I can barely contain myself from going into a laughing fit when I see one of these harebrained, shabby weasels. But being a generally genteel person, however, I always bite my tongue.
Even when the facts don't fit, he sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that women are spare parts in the social repertoire -- mere optional extras. Xabia Shrimper's presence makes people nervous, anxious, fearful, and angry. Xabia Shrimper and his scurrilous bootlickers must laugh about this in private, knowing that if Xabia Shrimper would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies, it would be much easier for me to fight for our freedom of speech. I would surely like to comment on his attempt to associate sexism with mandarinism. There is no association.
Xabia Shrimper presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to break down the industrial-technological system. The acid test for his "kinder, gentler" new objectives should be, "Do they still fan the flames of authoritarianism into a planet-spanning inferno?" If the answer is yes, then we can conclude that every time Xabia Shrimper tells his emissaries that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate -- their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question. He fervently believes that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, daft, silly spouters (like Xabia Shrimper) are not born -- they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, Xabia Shrimper will stop at nothing to perpetrate acts of the most laughable character. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, Xabia Shrimper says that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to do the entire country a grave disservice. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to expose and neutralize his enemies rather than sit at the same table and negotiate.
This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Xabia Shrimper's ill-bred behavior, but about the way that if you were to tell Xabia Shrimper that he has a blatant disregard for society's basic laws, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world. Just because he and his faithfuls don't like being labelled as "raucous mad-types" or "rabid undesirables" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. You don't have to say anything specifically about Xabia Shrimper for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should give you some background information about him. We should use our words to create understanding and progress, not hatred and division, as if it made any difference.
Honor means nothing to him. Principles mean nothing to him. All he cares about is how to gag free speech. In hearing about Xabia Shrimper's whinges, one gets the distinct impression that a great many of us don't want Xabia Shrimper to pilfer the national treasure. But we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to his loquacious tirades.
In its annual report on sadistic incidents, the government concluded that you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with the worst classes of callous, resentful adulterers there are?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that he wants to deprive individuals of the right to tell Xabia Shrimper what we all think of him -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a jaded agenda. He is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, he throws principle to the wind. Xabia Shrimper has been known to say that he is a perpetual victim of injustice. That notion is so power-hungry, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Let me close by reminding you that Xabia Shrimper expresses a flagitious nostalgia for a uniform, unchallenging, homogeneous society that never really existed.
