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Con/Lib agreement in full - in summary

Ron Manager

formerly Libertine
Jan 21, 2007
Brisbane, Australia
1. Deficit Reduction

The country is skint, cuts will be made to make life harder for working families but still allow big businesses to dodge as much tax as possible.

2. Spending Review - NHS, Schools and a Fairer Society


3. Tax Measures

Minimal tax cuts for the masses (enough to get their votes), mass tax evasion for the rich. Paid for by the above cuts.

4. Banking Reform

Lots of spin and hot air but in reality no action as when we leave office a nice little seat on the board of an investment bank awaits, so wouldn't want to upset that apple cart.

5. Immigration

We don't like those foreigners...unless they are providing cheap labour to maintain our grounds, sweep our chimney etc.

6. Political Reform

A few empty promises to keep those Lib Dems happy.

7. Pensions and Welfare

Keep the proles working longer

8. Education

Widen the gap between standards in state and private schools so we can maintain the ruling classes as a bunch of chinless wonders with an old school tie.

9. Relations with the EU

Fine balance between not liking Johnny Foreigner but having a summer home in Provence.

10. Civil liberties

If you do what we like you can have all the freedom you want. If not, then watch out.

11. Environment

Oh ****, the proles have started to take an interest in the environment. Build a couple of windmills and ride your bike to Parliament a few times that will keep them happy.

Finally, if those pesky Lib Dems don't like what we say they can get up and say so in Parliament (the proles are too busy watching Eastenders and Jeremy Kyle to notice anyway) but they aren't allowed to vote against us.