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Life changes thread

Tommy2holes

Life President⭐
Joined
Jan 21, 2007
Messages
8,561
I am at a crossroads. I'm 36 years old working silly hours at a mental health unit. I love the job but the politics and lack of progression mean that staying would lead to me working the same job until I'm 65 and I'm burnt out already.

Has anyone else been in a position similar and changed jobs / careers or done something to better there situation or did it make it worse.

I'm thinking I need a change but havent got a clue what and I need a decent wage.
 

londonblue

Topgun Pilot
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
16,255
I am at a crossroads. I'm 36 years old working silly hours at a mental health unit. I love the job but the politics and lack of progression mean that staying would lead to me working the same job until I'm 65 and I'm burnt out already.

Has anyone else been in a position similar and changed jobs / careers or done something to better there situation or did it make it worse.

I'm thinking I need a change but havent got a clue what and I need a decent wage.

Yep. I was working for one of the best investment banks in the world. Any move would have been a downward step. At first I loved it, but in the end I hated the place and hated going to work every single day. I was burnt out and suffering from stress. I couldn't sleep and was continually feeling tired and generally ****.

In the end I got made redundant. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was walked out of the office and the closer I got to the door the lighter I felt, and the bigger my smile became.

Don't leave it as late as I did. Find something you want to do and go for it.
 

Jam_Man

Life President
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
25,545
Location
Southend
Ive had two changes (Im 43).

In my twenties I was working in Insurance and hating every second of it, ended up going to college on an IT course and that led to a move into IT which was where I wanted to be.

Then worked at a decent sized company for 10 years at middle management and bit like you ended up hating it due to the politics and nonsense that went on there. I however got hung up on the "position" rather than actually liking what I did, I eventually left for other reasons and then found a job at a smaller company with less responsibility but actually started enjoying what I did. Since then my priorities changed and Im not so hung up on "progressing" and more interested in working for a company where I dont spend all week willing for it to the the weekend, then spend the weekend dreading Monday.

Money is a tricky one as a change in career can often mean a wage cut, I was lucky in that in both "changes" I ended up actually earning more, but that all depends on the change.

Bottom line I've learnt is life's too short to do something that makes you miserable, I now work in a far better environment than I did and work is no longer a negative aspect of my life, the fact I earn more is a bonus but was actually not the most important factor for me.
 

OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
48,092
Location
Benfleet
My husband took voluntary redundancy from the prison service earlier this year, after over-seeing the day to day running of one of the most high profile ones in the country for many years. He used his redundancy to buy a multi seater, wheelchair access taxi cab and spent a few months going through the knowledge and stuff to become a cabbie locally.

The change in him has been pronounced, when he was at the prison, he slept terribly, with frequent nightmares, had almost constant headaches and was leaving home at 5 in the morning and not getting home till 10 at night. He loves what he is doing now, loves the interaction with the passengers, especially the elderly and is now relaxed and chilled and loving life. The headaches (he has cluster headaches) have diminished to the point it's now maybe only once or twice a month rather than 3 or 4 times a week, and his doctor is delighted at the change. He is also eating a lot more healthily, but the lack of exercise has meant he's put on a little weight! All that walking the landings and stuff obviously was good for him physically!

It's a little scary having gone from the security of a regular and secure wage to being self-employed but so far, so good, and he loves that he is now in charge of his work, and can simply choose not to go out if he doesn't feel like it.
 

Pubey

Guest
I bet he's glad to have all those details posted on a public forum
 

chapperzUK

Guest
I'm 21 and I've had 1 change and half way through another.

First one was when I was at Uni, I was doing Computer Games Programming and loving the course. The summer after my first year they sacked the 2 leaders of the course (the main reason why it is one of the best in the country) and changed it to become more admin based than programming. After a month or so I hated the changes and wasn't looking forward to it anymore.

After speaking to the new leader of the course, I decided to leave but had no idea what to do. After a bit of thinking, I thought about trying Accountancy (B in Maths and Accountancy at A level so I already had some qualifications) and started doing the AAT course. Passed level 3 and half way through level 4 (passed 1 exam and waiting to hear back from 2) and sitting at a desk on the computer from 9am to 6pm/7pm is mentally draining and every day I feel awful.

I've had another long think and something that I've always wanted to do was play football, as I'm not good enough the next best thing is coaching. So I decided to do the level 1 and volunteer at a club, been doing that for a month and enjoying it so far.

It might seem scary to go into the unknown and easy to stick to what you know, but remember that life starts outside the comfort zone!
 

OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
48,092
Location
Benfleet
I bet he's glad to have all those details posted on a public forum

There's nothing there that others don't already know, I'm showing how the change of work has improved his life quality. Sometimes it's good to change anyway as it stops you from getting stuck in a rut.
 

Mad Cyril

Proud sponsor of Mark Molesley's white trainers⭐
Joined
Oct 29, 2003
Messages
18,416
Location
Flavour country
Yep. I was working for one of the best investment banks in the world. Any move would have been a downward step. At first I loved it, but in the end I hated the place and hated going to work every single day. I was burnt out and suffering from stress. I couldn't sleep and was continually feeling tired and generally ****.

In the end I got made redundant. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was walked out of the office and the closer I got to the door the lighter I felt, and the bigger my smile became.

Don't leave it as late as I did. Find something you want to do and go for it.

I used to work at what is regarded as the best investment bank in the world and at first I loved it but then realised that the only people who really flourished were those who gave their lives to the bank. It was also a period where bonuses were low for a couple of years and the basic is really ordinary considering you worked at least a sixty hour week although in good years they were pretty good.

I gave it up to become a contract programmer at the banks traditional rival and now thoroughly enjoy my work. I don't het bonuses or any other benefits but the environment is much more relaxed and the work more interesting.

Sometimes a change of scenery rather than a change of career are enough.
 

MK Shrimper

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2005
Messages
52,348
I've done it twice myself. Had enough back in 1999, so sold my flat for a tidy profit and bummed around the world for a year before the money ran out. I told my workmates when I left the Railway that if they ever saw me back, I'd f**ked up :facepalm:....and here I am 13 years later!

Also, seriously fed up with my job in 2008/09 so I took quite a paycut to move into computer modelling - which was tough seeing as I still had to pay a mortgage - but my missus supported me as she saw how depressed I got. It worked out as the job I've recently started wouldn't of happened if I hadn't taken that step.

I feel for you mate, it's VERY tough when you've got responsibilties.
 

Mad Cyril

Proud sponsor of Mark Molesley's white trainers⭐
Joined
Oct 29, 2003
Messages
18,416
Location
Flavour country
I've done it twice myself. Had enough back in 1999, so sold my flat for a tidy profit and bummed around the world for a year before the money ran out. I told my workmates when I left the Railway that if they ever saw me back, I'd f**ked up :facepalm:....and here I am 13 years later!

Also, seriously fed up with my job in 2008/09 so I took quite a paycut to move into computer modelling - which was tough seeing as I still had to pay a mortgage - but my missus supported me as she saw how depressed I got. It worked out as the job I've recently started wouldn't of happened if I hadn't taken that step.

I feel for you mate, it's VERY tough when you've got responsibilties.

What algorithms do you use to model a strike?
 

MrB

Life President
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
17,501
Location
Desk
Just become single again so life has changed. To deal with it I'm going to go out and get beered up with GNH tonight and then decide whether to rent rooms out to some female foreigners who need temporary accomodation to get some extra cash in.
 

MK Shrimper

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2005
Messages
52,348
life is too short, it can be hard at times and you dont know which direction to follow.....take a chance and enjoy yourself.....if it doesnt work out then head in a different direction do not stay in a rut as you will not be happy....take a chance

Easier said than done when you have a family relying on you LS.
 

londonblue

Topgun Pilot
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
16,255
I know this is a kids' poem/book. But it's still worth reading:

Oh, the places you'll go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day,
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, 'I don't choose to go there.'
With your head full of brains, and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sites!
You'll join the high fliers!
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to says so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're dark.
A place that could sprain both elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you should go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or maybe not quite?
Or go around and back and sneak from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long and wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where boom bands are playing.

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not.
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the whether be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many stray birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed!)

KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Alenn O'Shea
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way!


BY: DR.Seuss
 

BrettieAngell

THE ROCK GOD
Joined
Oct 26, 2003
Messages
19,642
Location
Southend
My circumstances changed this year, it wasn't totally out of choice although I did choose to walk out of work and got the sack as a result. It was tough being out of work for a while and things could have worked out alot differently but I had a result ending up where I am and can look forward to the future for the first time in ages. I guess I was lucky but if I hadn't walked out that day then I would still be stuck in that ********, sometimes things happen for a reason!
 

Ricey

Scott Forbes No.1 Fan⭐
Staff member
Joined
Dec 21, 2003
Messages
33,916
Location
Braintree
Over 3 years ago I decided to make a life changing decision. I was working at Southend Airport as an Aviation Fire Fighter and had been there for nearly 4 years. It paid well good hours but the chance for progression was limited (dead mans shoes) for promotion. So I decided to do what I always wanted to do and join the RAF and it was a great decision and I love my job and what I do now. I don't regret what I did even after how well the airport has taken off and I would of been promoted now had I not left. It was always a risk but this risk has paid off. :smile:
 

OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
48,092
Location
Benfleet
sometimes things happen for a reason!
And that, is absolutely the key to it all, things really DO happen for a reason. I firmly believe that.

Over 3 years ago I decided to make a life changing decision. I was working at Southend Airport as an Aviation Fire Fighter and had been there for nearly 4 years. It paid well good hours but the chance for progression was limited (dead mans shoes) for promotion. So I decided to do what I always wanted to do and join the RAF and it was a great decision and I love my job and what I do now. I don't regret what I did even after how well the airport has taken off and I would of been promoted now had I not left. It was always a risk but this risk has paid off. :smile:

Remember those days matey, so pleased with how things have worked out for you!
 

TrueBlue

Save Our Southend
Joined
Oct 26, 2003
Messages
22,507
Location
Hockley now on loan to Rayleigh
My husband took voluntary redundancy from the prison service earlier this year, after over-seeing the day to day running of one of the most high profile ones in the country for many years. He used his redundancy to buy a multi seater, wheelchair access taxi cab and spent a few months going through the knowledge and stuff to become a cabbie locally.

The change in him has been pronounced, when he was at the prison, he slept terribly, with frequent nightmares, had almost constant headaches and was leaving home at 5 in the morning and not getting home till 10 at night. He loves what he is doing now, loves the interaction with the passengers, especially the elderly and is now relaxed and chilled and loving life. The headaches (he has cluster headaches) have diminished to the point it's now maybe only once or twice a month rather than 3 or 4 times a week, and his doctor is delighted at the change. He is also eating a lot more healthily, but the lack of exercise has meant he's put on a little weight! All that walking the landings and stuff obviously was good for him physically!

It's a little scary having gone from the security of a regular and secure wage to being self-employed but so far, so good, and he loves that he is now in charge of his work, and can simply choose not to go out if he doesn't feel like it.

wait till January and Feb Kay our industry dies a death and if he wants to earn money he will be working all day and night
 
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