Slipperduke's Slippery Column

[EastStandBlue]

I still maintain that Euro 2008 is Spain's for the taking. An already extremely talented squad should be driven by the imminent departure of Aragones to honour him with a winners medal, whilst having half an eye on that man with a goatee in the crowd who'll more than likely replace him.

David Villa and Fernando Torres together are nothing less than frightening and have Bojan, who Barca rave about, waiting in the wings. They have the luxury of an embarassment of riches in goal and have the rocks of Puyol and Ramos to rely on at the back.

If they can end their perennial problem of being unable to gel, then I reckon they'll take Euro2008 by storm.

 

[Pubey]

I still maintain that Euro 2008 is Spain's for the taking. An already extremely talented squad should be driven by the imminent departure of Aragones to honour him with a winners medal, whilst having half an eye on that man with a goatee in the crowd who'll more than likely replace him.

David Villa and Fernando Torres together are nothing less than frightening and have Bojan, who Barca rave about, waiting in the wings. They have the luxury of an embarassment of riches in goal and have the rocks of Puyol and Ramos to rely on at the back.

If they can end their perennial problem of being unable to gel, then I reckon they'll take Euro2008 by storm.

whilst they have always had good defences and strikers.. it's the midfield that they have always seemed to lack, remember players such as Juan Carlos Valeron, lopez, senna... all distinctly average IMO and if they can get fabregas, xavi, iniesta, albelda and alonso to all click and link up the defence and attack... then they definitely are a force to be reckoned with (but we say this every 2 years!!!!!)

 

[Slipperduke]

Hounds of Hell

I used to get these horrible recurring nightmares when I was a teenager. It was every single evening and it was absolutely terrifying. I’d drift off and be transported to a cold, dark forest where I was being chased by a pack of dogs. The dogs were so real and no matter how fast I ran, I could never get away from them, they always closed in and I’d wake up, drenched in sweat, as they pounced. One night, after they got closer than usual, I got out of bed and, to my horror, discovered that my boxer shorts were torn at the back and I had a vicious puncture wound to my right buttock. Try rationalising that at 3am. Thankfully, before bursting into my parents room and announcing to them that I was being stalked by the devil’s hounds of hell, I had the good sense to check my bed where I discovered that a sharp spring had come through the mattress and skewered me like a hairy kebab. All of this is a very convoluted way of saying that just because Manchester United’s relentless pursuit of another title may seem like a nightmare to Arsenal fans, doesn’t make it any less dangerous.

United’s callous destruction of Newcastle last weekend was a sight to behold. The Geordies went into the game thinking that a good performance could put them back on the rails and begin their revival. They came out of it wondering if the second flight had changed much since they last played in it. Carlos Queiroz alarmed the home fans when he arrived at Old Trafford by urging Sir Alex Ferguson to play a complicated 4-5-1, but it’s now evolved into a formation that defies description and is almost impossible to play against. There is so much talent, so much application in their ranks that even a bitter old United-hater like myself has warmed to them.

You have to hand it to Sir Alex Ferguson, he knows how to chase down his quarry. United started the season at a gentle cruise, laughably causing some people to write them out of the title race before the end of August. Now they’re in top gear, scoring goals for fun with an inter-changeable midfield that allows the kind of effective rotation that Rafa Benitez would kill for. Who’s laughing now, eh? Three weeks ago I was at a press conference at The Emirates where a foolish journalist asked Arsene Wenger if his team’s five point lead meant that Arsenal were home and dry in the title race. Thankfully, Wenger is no fool and quashed any talk of it instantly. It may have been a few years since he and Sir Alex raced for the finishing line together, but he hasn’t forgotten their old duels. He knew that United would react with complete indifference to the gap, knowing that one slip up would make it look considerably smaller. Last week, Birmingham were kind enough to provide the banana and now it’s wide open again

Today they travel to Fulham, where they could probably field the reserves and bring home maximum points and if anything goes wrong at The Emirates, United will go top. Now that is the stuff of nightmares. Of course, it’s still completely in the balance. Describing United as the runaway favourites today is as ludicrous as giving Arsenal the same label three weeks ago. But however much Arsenal fans pinch themselves and try to wake up, there’s no denying it. Ferguson’s hounds are closing in on them all the time.

 

[C C Csiders]

With Euro 2008 now less than 100 days away and UEFA showing no signs of inexplicably kicking anyone out of the tournament to make room for England, it’s time for acceptance. Naturally, this acceptance will come easier to you than it will to me, which is why I decided to get the heads-up on a few of the probable stars of this summer’s competition by tuning into Bayern Munich’s cup clash with city rivals 1860 Munich. The more I whet my appetite with European superstars, the less I’ll fall to my knees, wailing in anguish and cursing the name of McClaren. That’s the theory anyway.

I couldn’t have picked a better place to start. Bayern Munich responded to missing out on a Champions League place in much the same way as Ivana Trump responded to heartache. They went shopping. In came a host of players including Frank Ribery, Luca Toni and Miroslav Klose. Their rivals, 1860, were relegated from the Bundesliga in 2004 and have never recovered from the shock. This really should have been a very one-sided, Chelsea versus QPR kind of clash, but the underdogs had other ideas.

For all their quality, Bayern just couldn’t break their opponents down. Young winger Tony Kroos had the best chance to score, stealing the ball away from a defender, but firing over from the edge of the box. The talented playmaker is touted as the next big thing in German football, though Euro 2008 might be a little too early for him. Kroos only has to look towards his team-mate Lukas Podolski to see the dangers of premature hyperbole. Podolski was 2005’s ‘next big thing’ and this was a rare start for the striker who has struggled to settle at the Allianz Arena. He didn’t capitalise on the chance to impress, wasting possession and failing to trouble the 1860 goalkeeper.

His strike-partner, the gigantic Toni, has had no problems settling into life at Germany’s biggest club. The former Fiorentina hitman has scored 13 goals already and if he hadn’t have been so selfless, he might have added another here. Rising at the far post in the first half, the Italian elected to nod the ball back to a team-mate rather than go for goal and the chance was lost. Toni is a constant handful for any defence, but he didn’t like 1860’s physical approach and repeatedly retaliated to nudges and shirt-pulls, eventually earning himself two yellow cards and an early bath. He grinned as he left the pitch, but with the score locked at 0-0 and extra-time looming, manager Ottmar Hitzfeld didn’t return his smile.

Thank heavens then for Franck Ribery. On as a second-half substitute, the French winger was a real threat. He’s as quick as Tottenham’s Aaron Lennon, but with more technique and close control. He’s also got guts. With a penalty shoot-out looking certain, Bayern won a fortunate spot-kick in the 120th minute. Ribery stepped up and slammed it home, but the referee refused to allow it to stand. Two Bayern players had charged into the box for the rebound, invalidating the kick. Without a flicker of emotion, Ribery took the ball, placed it on the spot again and, waiting for the goalkeeper to hurl himself to his right, simply lobbed it gently down the middle of the goal. It was straight out of the Cantona handbook.

Bayern progressed then to the Semi-Final, but Hitzfeld still wasn’t going to smile about it. The veteran manager knew that he had only been moments from humiliation. Ribery had no such concerns. Despite being kicked across the pitch by his furious opponents for over an hour, he celebrated jubilantly at the final whistle. Will he be doing the same in Vienna on June 29? You certainly wouldn’t rule it out





STAR PLAYER - Franck Ribery (France)

I can't take Franck Ribery seriously at all. He is after all the love child of Henry V and Tracey Emin:

Henry V

Plus

Tracey Emin

Equals

Franck Ribery

 

[sufcintheprem]

Is there a journalistic term for a final sentence that refers to the first paragraph? Expertly done here of course. I think I was maybe looking for it too much when Birmingham providing the banana and a puncture wound to the buttock all seem to be a combined reference to an alarming incident involving a friend at uni and thankfully not myself.

Slightly more relevantly, I thought at the time that writing Man Utd off early season was folly - their defence was outstanding and they were missing Ronaldo and Rooney. In spite of a defeat to a Man City team which almost has an air of inevitability these days, they were still well in contention all along.

 

[BrettieAngell]

I can't take Franck Ribery seriously at all. He is after all the love child of Henry V and Tracey Emin:

Henry V

Plus

Tracey Emin

Equals

Franck Ribery

He looks like the village idiot brother of Gary Neville! And no I don't mean Phil!

 

[C C Csiders]

He looks like the village idiot brother of Gary Neville! And no I don't mean Phil!

Basically, he's an ugly ****.

 

[BrettieAngell]

Basically, he's an ugly ****.

basically yeah!

 

[number11]

In fairness to him though, wasnt he involved in a very serious car crash which partly explains his looks......whereas the Neville brothers have no excuse...

 

[C C Csiders]

In fairness to him though, wasnt he involved in a very serious car crash which partly explains his looks......whereas the Neville brothers have no excuse...

No can't forgive him. Even without the accident, which incidentally add character to his otherwise heinous looks, he'd be an ugly ****.

 

[Slipperduke]

Fan Mail From Singapore

More fan mail from Singapore:

"Why is this man allowed to write in your newspaper when its obvious he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about.
I watched the Boro v Sheff Utd game the other night and thought it was a typical English cup game. Boro attacked for most of the game ( 29 shots) ( 12 corners ). So what does he mean by boring, non exciting football?
The price the people paid to watch the game was 15 pounds for adults and 6 pounds for under 16s, not $75 as reported by this buffoon, also please tell him people sit at football games these days not “stand in the cold “.
He obviously has something against Middlesbrough, maybe because they are, statistically the most successful team outside of the “big 4” over the last 10 or 15 years.
Last week he tipped Boro to lose against Liverpool because , in his own words, Boro are woeful on their travels. Before that game Boro had won 3 and drawn 3 of their last 6 away games. Once more GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT.
…Come on Boro"

 

[Slipperduke]

My response:

Thanks for your comments on my coverage of Middlesbrough aganst Sheffield United. I do regret that it's caused you so much offence, but football is a game of opinions and it's only natural that they differ sometimes.

I must apologise for getting the price of the ticket wrong, that was poor journalism and you're right to complain about it. Steve Gibson, as I said in the article, is a fantastic chairman and I should have realised that he'd bring the price down for a cup game!

However, I take umbrage with the rest of your points:

1, 'Boro may have had 29 shots, but only two or three of them were a threat, weren't they? The commentators and pundits on the BBC were so bored that they were reduced to openly praying for something to happen. The letters page on Football 365 was almost entirely devoted to how dreadful the game was and my phone went off five or six times during the game with people asking if I was watching, "the most boring game of all time." I've seen a lot of football this season and that game was right down there with Bolton - Blackburn and Chelsea - Liverpool.

2, Most successful team outside the top 4? On what stats? Wouldn't that require them to come 5th once in a while? Barring one season where McClaren briefly got his act together they've been perennially mid-table.

3, Erm, won three away? You're including Mansfield and Bristol City in that, aren't you?! It's a Premier League feature. In the Premier League, Boro have only won three on their travels all season, one travesty of refereeing at Fulham and once against Derby.

I'd hate for people to think I'm biased, especially against Middlesbrough. I'm a Southend fan, so I can understand what you've gone through in recent years and what it feels like to get written off all the time. For what it's worth, I like what Gareth Southgate is trying to do at The Riverside and I hope it works. But, seriously, that Sheffield United game was bloody awful!

 

[Slipperduke]

United Ease Through

Manchester United, eliminated from the Champions League by an Italian side last season, have clearly leaned their lesson well, for this was a victory copied straight out of the Serie A handbook. There were no wanton flourishes, no unnecessary garnish, this was just cold, merciless football and how well it worked.

Sir Alex Ferguson knew that his opposite number would be in a quandary. With the first leg in France ending 1-1, Alan Perrin was all too aware that if Lyon attacked early in search of the vital away goal, then they would leave space behind them for United to counter-attack. If they were cautious and waited to make a break, then the pressure would build to unbearable levels. Ferguson decided to let them dig their own grave and he duly packed the centre of the pitch with Darren Fletcher, Michael Carrick and Anderson. If the French did launch an offensive, then they’d have to throw men forward to do it and sooner or later, a gap would appear for Wayne Rooney or Ronaldo to exploit. It was like watching a shark circling a rowing boat, trying to figure out the exact bit of the hull at which to charge in order to spill the occupants into the water.

Lyon are no novices at Champions League football, but strangely they seemed to have gone out with exactly the same intention. They were initially content to let United come at them, but the trouble with two teams playing this kind of defensive ‘chicken’ is that someone has to swerve first and it’s never going to be the team with the away goal. Lyon eventually cracked and were punished just before half-time.

This game will never make a bestselling DVD, but far from being boring, it was strangely compelling. This was a mature, composed performance that speaks volumes for the way Ferguson breeds his players. United are known for their rampant football, but there was little evidence of it here and, oddly, that’s a good sign. True champions know instinctively when to charge and when to hold and United never put a foot wrong. Lyon had a handful of half chances and even hit the post when Keita suddenly burst into the penalty area, but these were few and far between. As soon as Ronaldo had poked home from an increasing angle, United were as good as through to the last eight.

Karim Benzema, so impressive in the first leg, seemed almost overwhelmed by the occasion and struggled. If he did manage to get hold of the ball, he was quickly suffocated by Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand. His fellow prodigy Hatem Ben Arfa was equally disappointing. It tells you everything you need to know about the balance of power in this match that Lyon’s most impressive player was Jeremy Toulalan, their tough-tackling, defensive midfielder.

It was no classic and it certainly won’t be remembered as fondly as their title rivals’ extraordinary victory in the San Siro, but United fans won’t care one bit. They will take their place in the Quarter-Finals with quiet, growing confidence. Notorious for their exploits on the offensive, it appears that Ferguson’s men are just as deadly on the back foot.

 

[Bluesmanager]

No comments on the Arsenal game, Slip?

Going off of what ITV4's preview shows were saying about him, Benzeema's got the potential to kick some serious backside, and he's what? barely 20? Champions League L16, Man Utd. Yeah, I can see him choking a bit.

 

[Pubey]

C Ronaldo had yet another poor game IMO. took his goal well but his passing, workrate and movement was very very poor. for a midfielder to score 30goals so far this season is incredible, and he is always going to have a game when it doesn't go his way.... but is this more fuel to the "fails to perform in big games" fire??

Grosso and Toulan were excellent at getting tight to him, but he never seemed to ever link up with Wes Brown, who was quality last night.

Anderson has a lot of promise but isn't quite balanced yet with his passing, fletcher works like a dog and carrick can put a ball on a 6pence from a mile away... all 3 were left to do their own thing by lyon as they knew that doubling up on rooney and ronaldo was key. if scholes or giggs had been playing, it would definitely had been the straw that broke the camels back

job done though... even if ronaldo didn't break into a sweat

 

[Slipperduke]

No comments on the Arsenal game, Slip?

Going off of what ITV4's preview shows were saying about him, Benzeema's got the potential to kick some serious backside, and he's what? barely 20? Champions League L16, Man Utd. Yeah, I can see him choking a bit.

I didn't get to watch it, I'm afraid. I got given this one instead. Sounds like they did well though. I've got the game taped, so I'll be watching it later.

Benzema is a class act, no doubt. He was rubbish last night, mind.

 

[Slipperduke]

C Ronaldo had yet another poor game IMO. took his goal well but his passing, workrate and movement was very very poor. for a midfielder to score 30goals so far this season is incredible, and he is always going to have a game when it doesn't go his way.... but is this more fuel to the "fails to perform in big games" fire??


job done though... even if ronaldo didn't break into a sweat

Well, he's got to have a bad game at some point, hasn't he? He wasn't quite at the races last night, but I doubt anyone will mind too much. Good spot on Wes Brown, by the way. I really don't know why him and Fletcher get so much criticism, they're really good, dependable players.

 

[Pubey]

Well, he's got to have a bad game at some point, hasn't he? He wasn't quite at the races last night, but I doubt anyone will mind too much. Good spot on Wes Brown, by the way. I really don't know why him and Fletcher get so much criticism, they're really good, dependable players.

yeah exactly... my point in whole was that he wasn't quite at his best, he was up against a world cup winning left-back and the best player on the pitch was their DM, and he still scored the winning goal. Although it was job done, I'm starting to get the feeling that if Ronaldo doesn't start performing to his best in the business end of the FA cup and Champions League, then it's going to massively detract from the outstanding performances he has put in to-date. he is a class player, but he hasn't quite done it on the European Cup or National cup stage... yet

 

[Bluesmanager]

I didn't get to watch it, I'm afraid. I got given this one instead. Sounds like they did well though. I've got the game taped, so I'll be watching it later.

Benzema is a class act, no doubt. He was rubbish last night, mind.

Ahh. Right. That makes sense.

Wes Brown, while he isn't in the same category as Titus Bramble, can certainly have a clanger on occasion (more often than the best, at any rate). He's a good player, but while C Ronaldo probably won't have quite a bad game as he did (apparently) against Lyon, Wes probably will have another clanger. I think that's what separates the Ronaldos from the Browns of football really, not the fancy **** tricks that Ronaldo pulls on a frequent basis, but how consistant they are.

 

[Slipperduke]

Chelsea get through

Chelsea became the third English side to book their place in the Quarter-Finals of the Champions League and they did it, not by boring their opponents into submission, but by smashing them to pieces with a performance that, strange as it may sound, was as beautiful as it was efficient. Avram Grant has been telling us since he arrived that his Chelsea would play entertaining football, but this was the first time that it was in evidence. Short, quick passing was the order of the day, combined with clever movement as blue shirts zipped around the field, tormenting Olympiakos from the first whistle. Is this the start of a new era of beautiful football for Chelsea? Will Grant continue to give his players licence to express themselves in this final third of the season? Let’s hope so.

Olympiakos were simply blown away at Stamford Bridge by an emphatic, defiant display. Grant has come in for fearful criticism since his team capitulated at Wembley and it seems that Chelsea’s 4-0 victory at the weekend wasn’t quite enough of a riposte for him. He was hurt by the personal attacks in the media and he is desperate to prove his accusers wrong. On the evidence presented here, he might just do it. The simple lesson seems to be; don’t mess with the system. Chelsea are much more at home in their time-honoured 4-5-1 formation, even if Grant continues to insist that it’s 4-3-3. It gives them width, it gives them strength and, in Didier Drogba, they have a perfect lone wolf. It makes you wonder why the bought Nicolas Anelka and not a spare Drogba, like Valencia’s unsettled striker Nikola Zigic.

The Greeks couldn’t cope with Chelsea’s quick passing, though in fairness, they were probably as surprised as the rest of us. Their marking was appalling, particularly for Ballack’s opening goal when they inexplicably gave the German midfielder all the room he needed to break the deadlock. A second strike after just 25 minutes wrapped the game up and gave Chelsea a chance to relax. Unfortunately for Olympiakos, Grant had a point to prove and relaxing was off the agenda. Another soppy goal after half-time made it look embarrassing. Even Claude Makelele managed to get forward and have a crack on target. Twice!

Fernando Belluschi had the honour of notching up Olympiakos’ first shot of the night, curling a free-kick into Carlo Cudicini’s arms on the hour and it was he who crashed a long shot against the bar with seven minutes to go, but the Greeks struggled to create anything else. In fairness to them, they were once again without the services of former Newcastle frontman Lomano LuaLua, one of the few players with the ability to carve open Chelsea’s rearguard.

The only smear on Chelsea’s evening was a booking to Frank Lampard for diving, which seemed a little harsh. His standing leg was certainly touched by his opposite number, but perhaps the referee was unimpressed with the way that Lampard flew through the air, calling for a penalty even before he’d crashed to the ground. He’ll regret that if he gets booked in the Semi-Finals. Petr Cech missed the game with an ankle injury, though the word is that he’ll be back in less than two weeks.

Grant has publicly announced that his priority is the Champions League, but up until now, Chelsea didn’t seem to be a particular threat to the continent‘s big guns. This is the fourth time in five seasons that they’ve reached the last eight, but they’ve yet to make the Final. He seemed unconcerned with talk of drawing an English club in the next round though, entertainingly, he did promise that whatever happened, they would end up with Liverpool in the Semi-Finals. He’s sharp, you can’t deny that. Olympiakos’ poor showing means that you can’t read too much into this game, but, never mind the result, it was just nice to see Chelsea playing the ball around like Arsenal. Now let’s see it continue, Avram.