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Done a bit of rummaging and I'm guessing it's this thread :-

http://www.shrimperzone.com/vb/show...rZone-quot-LIVE-quot-Chat&highlight=live+chat

:smile:

It is indeed, though this is the 2nd incarnation after Uncle Leo, formerly known as Uxbridge Shrimper, managed to delete the entire original. Happy days when the Zone was a light hearted place to hang about and chat just as you do in a pub between friends. You'll notice how many of those involved no longer post on here but it is where I made some really good friends.
 
"All right fellas - Phil here.

I knows one or two of you fellas are getting a bit fidgety but you'll be alright with me ...... As you know I have been in this game a long time and seen off several England managers ... I like it here - its just like Hull - seen it done it - got the boys wearing our tiger stripes.. Look IN THE PREM you dont take lip off anyone - certainly not a young centre back - Hang on a mo I will take that call - Sams pestering a lot these days ........ No its ok - just the solicitors about Cardiff .. I'll get back to them with the character reference .... same as with Dave .... yes now - oh results ? I had to sack Nile - its like a game of football you see - you put your head in there and the chairmans backing me ..I don't think we have been playing badly .. just the rub of the result... It needed shaking up an a few feathers ruffled but I have been in for the England job.... Things will always get said ... we can still go up .

Thanks fellas - good to speak with you "
 
Wednesday 10th January 2018

Way aye pets and a Happy New Year. I knows this greeting is a bit late but, to tell yer the truth, I've had a lot of things on me mind.

Now yer all knows we've lost our best player in the last few days. Yep, I was sad to see Nile go, especially as he'd just foond his goalscoring touch with that one that went in off his shoulder. But Ron came back fuming from his Caribbean holiday and started wielding the axe. I must admit, I'll miss the evenings oot with Nile. Chatting aboot life and that, but yer cannae keep letting the club doon by putting half a**ed performances in and assaulting a copper. Oh hang on, wait a minute, that was someone else. Still, I hopes Nile finds a club soon though, but let's be brutally honest, he'd be better off opening a stables or fighting crime in the Wild West, or Bristol as it's known.

Well, I hopes yer all had a greet Christmas cos to be truthful, mine was a reet disaster. Big Sam invited wor all oop for Christmas Dinner, but when I arrived there were Neil 'Chopper' Harris and Chris Wildman sitting at the table, along with a big fat turkey. Yep, he'd only gone and invited that f**ker, Parky! .. Jeez, as if me year couldnae get any worse. I tries to be civil, but Parky started on me straight away. Banging on aboot relegation and all that and me getting the sack. I says yer should know all aboot being at the bottom of the League, yer big wa**ock. So he gets his game oot he'd brought along. Bl**dy Championship Manager. Says I cannae play cos it's only for him, Chopper and Wildman and stuffs the game reet in me face. I says I've had enough and storms oot!

Thankfully the lads cheered me oop with that win against Charlton, but it was back to being miserable again a few days later. Chris Wildman then calls me oop and says he's popping doon on New Years Eve and did I fancy meeting oop. I says well, it cannae do any harm, so we go oot doon the town to me favourite haunt. The Pope and Port. I'm sure he were lacing me drinks because the next thing I knows I'm crashed oot on me sofa and there's Wildman sitting there with a photo of Lenny in a Sheffield United shirt. I says he's having a laugh if he thinks Ron will sell him without me say so, but he reckons I agreed to it last neet. Jeez, I'm all at sixes and sevens these days, so I goes back to bed when I gets a call from Coghs saying we've got a game today. I thought f**k, bl**dy Wimbledon away! .. I'd forgotten all aboot that!

I managed to blag it by spending the entire match asleep in the dugout and during me post-match interview I just bunged Alliker a few clichés "foothold in the game", "naïve", "poor defending". The usual when we gets beaten away. I didnae even know the result, but turned oot it was me best interview of the season.

So, back to the here and now. I've been trying to speak to Ron this week, but he says he hasnae had time cos he's had to answer a load of emails from the supporters, advising him on whats to do. I says they're probably all saying that I needs help with some new players to see us oop the table and he kind of said it was something like that!

Well, this fella is not for resigning, so I'm gonnae fight on. Let me just say that contrary to rumours, there's no truth that there's a divided camp amongst the players. I was only saying that to them the other day in the two seperate hotels we booked for them in Northampton!

Another day today. I hears Ron is meeting with all the players this morning. Probably to tell them they're not being paid this month! Hehe! You've gots to laugh, haven't yer! :smile:
 
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Wednesday 10th January 2018

Now yer all knows we've lost our best player in the last few days. Yep, I was sad to see Nile go,:

I had just taken a mouth full of cornflakes when I read that and spurted them all out, you naughty boy.

:hilarious::happy:
 
"Well, this fella is not for resigning, so I'm gonnae fight on. Let me just say that contrary to rumours, there's no truth that there's a divided camp amongst the players. I was only saying that to them the other day in the two seperate hotels we booked for them in Northampton!"


Classic line, absolutely brilliant
:smile::smile:
 
Tuesday 16th January 2018

Well, I knows you supporters are starting to get a bit concerned aboot our league position and frankly so am I. For 55 minutes, though, I was enjoying the match. Yer see, I'd just bought the new album from me favourite Austrian Rockers, Franz Ferdinand, and were playing it on me headphones whilst watching the game. It helps me to concentrate and blocks oot all that moaning from the fans behind me. I'd just turned to Coghs and said me Ferdinand's finished when he says yer telling me, he's just passed straight to their fella and we're 1-0 doon. FFS, I says. I cannae trust them youngsters. They're so naïve!

I was so appalled that I decided to join the supporters and write a letter to the chairman, so here it is :-

"Dear Ron, me old mate (don't forget I've got shares in the club, eh!) .. I am reet angry. I've been a supporter for 3 years now and that was the most inept, clueless performance I've ever seen. Who picks this side, man. Jeez, you've gots to get rid of this clown who's running the show. He comes oot with bizarre rants and doesnae seem to know his best side. If things don't change quickly, then I can only see me beloved Southend going doon to play Morecambe again and no-one likes that. I really think it's time to pull the trigger and offer a nice settlement and a good deal on his shares, with maybe a reference for future employment, eh! .. Yep, as you can see, I've had enough and won't be renewing me contract in the summer .. Yours disgustingly, PB!" .. I think he'll get the message, for sure.

Now, lots of people are saying that I'm invitin' the sack with me post-match interviews and strange team selections, but there's no truth in that at all. To be brutally honest, last week was one of the best week's of me time, here. Training went well and there were only 3 players who fell oot with each other and I gots an offer accepted on me new house in Clitheroe. That's how confident I am that I'll be here to stay.

There were some good news on Saturday, though, with the return of Sammy the Shrimper. He always brings a smile to me face and entertains the kids who turn oop, before they're bored senseless and put off forever by the following 90 minutes! .. A lot of people asked who is the new fella in the costume, but I'm not at liberty to say. Suffice to say, Horts wasnae aroond much in the Directors Box, so I'll leaves you to do the maths.

Talking aboot maths, we need 7 wins I reckon which given our current form, we'll achieve aroond Easter 2019!

Keep the faith! :happy:
 
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Superb Andy.

Am I the only one that struggles to read that without slipping into a Geordie accent? :hilarious:
 
Now all we need is the return of the "Chocolate Orange" series...

Hank over to you Sir...
 
I'd like to read that 'chocolate orange' stuff.

Is it still around on the forum, somewhere?
 
Fantastic and thanks 'OBL'.

I'll look forward to reading them. :thumbsup:
 
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