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A Century United

Firewalking for HD
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
10,004
As below.... What might your biggest regret be?

NB superblue24 - Regret #2..........


Top five regrets of the dying

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
 

Jam_Man

Life President
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
25,545
Location
Southend
I want my kids not to go without, but I also want to spend time with them and certainly dont want to look back in 10 years and realise Ive missed their childhood.

Doesnt mean Im after handouts, just a good balance.
 

Tinks

Worlds Greatest Cook.⭐
Joined
Nov 17, 2006
Messages
5,385
Location
Eastwood
As someone that has been present at many deaths and sat with families I can completely identify with the list compiled.
Personally I would have liked to have had at least 3-4 more children
 

A Century United

Firewalking for HD
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
10,004
You don't know me well enough mate.

I know kids, and material things (however much they may clamour for them) are ALWAYS second best to time with and approving attention from their dad. Don't underestimate your importance or how much they need that.



[video=youtube;We1BVMmcr2A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We1BVMmcr2A[/video]
 

londonblue

Topgun Pilot
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
16,143
You don't know me well enough mate.

From what you've posted on here and PM'd me in the past I do know that you've had a very full life, and have a huge amount of life experience that is way beyond anything you could possibly buy them. Not only that, they're your kids, even if they knew the stuff you don't want them to know they wouldn't hold it against you. I bet you if you asked them to be honest the one thing they would want/would have wanted (delete based on the age of your kids!) is your time.
 

Dick Bate's Protege

Minister for Equality
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
1,943
Location
In a Tory Wonderland
My biggest regret thus far is not knowing when I was 18 that I would eventually split up with my then girlfriend. I had the chance to nail her fitter best mate after a Kula Shaker gig and was overtaken by a obscene sense of loyalty.

Any 18 year olds on here, I urge you to take every chance you get for a naughty knee trembler in a cold Brixton alleyway; it'll haunt you forever if you don't.
 
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