chadded
Not striking since 2004
I've got a knife. Shamelessly copied from Facebook....
IS that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"It's a gun, get your coat."
--
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Chloro"
"Chloro who?"
*thud*
"Chloroform"
--
"Do you come here often?"
"No"
"You do, because I've been following you for the past 4 months."
--
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you know what Rohypnol smells like?"
"No?"
"Good."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"I bet I end up having sex with you tonight."
"Oh yeah? How's that, then?"
"Because I'm much stronger than you."
--
Start talking to the fat one in a group of girls - then tell her you have a knife. Works every time.
--
Send a bottle of champagne over to her table. When she looks at you and smiles, call the waiter back over to your table and instruct him to go over, tell her he's got a knife and bring her to you.
Failsafe.
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"You know what they say about beauty...it protects against all evil. Well, with you I feel really safe! Or perhaps I feel safe because I've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me if I held a knife to it?"
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day. Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"I know I'm not the best looking guy here tonight, but if you don't come home with me now, I will kill your family."
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--
Gesture with your finger to make a cute girl come over to you. When she does, say "If I can make you come with just my finger, imagine what I can make you do with this knife"
--
REMEMBER - girls are impressed by guys with money:
"My pockets aren't big enough for both my money clip and the keys to my Aston Martin. But they're big enough for my knife."
--
"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge knife."
--
"You know, you look just like my first wife"
"I didn't know you'd been married"
"Sorry, did i say you look just like my wife? I meant I've got a knife. Get in the van."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."
--
"You're just a girl, and I'm just a boy...and this is just a knife. Get in the shower."
--
Mav: "Actually, we've only done this, uh, twice"
Charlie: "Oh, how'd ya do?"
Mav: "Crashed and burned on the first one, it wasn't pretty"
Charlie: "And the second?"
Mav: "I don't know, I'll tell you tomorrow, now get in the van. Because I have a knife..."
--
Hi!, M,30 Sheffield. GSOH, N/S likes arts, walks in the rain, vans, etc seeks F, 17 -40 similar tastes. You will reply to box no 6545 because I have a knife.
--
Three women walking down the road, one has a red hat, one a has a blue hat and the third has a yellow hat. Which one will i sleep with tonight?
All of them. I have a knife.
--
Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a knife?
i haven't got a Ferrari in my pocket. Get in the van.
--
"Is that a ladder in your tights"
"Why? Is it a stairway to heaven!"
"No, I have a knife"
--
"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
"Let me guess - fertilised or unf..."
"No, you don't get breakfast in my van."
--
"Excuse me, do you have any Irish in you?"
"No."
"Would you like some?"
"No."
"How about a knife, then? Get in the van."
--
"I'm good at three things: killing, screwing, and sharpening my knife. I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be?"
IS that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"It's a gun, get your coat."
--
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Chloro"
"Chloro who?"
*thud*
"Chloroform"
--
"Do you come here often?"
"No"
"You do, because I've been following you for the past 4 months."
--
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Ok"
"Barman, can I have a pint of water and a knife please. Get your coat."
--
"Do you know what Rohypnol smells like?"
"No?"
"Good."
--
"Do you like jewelery?"
"Yes!"
"Suck this. It's a knife."
--
"Have you got mirrors in your knickers?
'Cos I can see myself in 'em tonight.
Because I've got a knife."
--
"I bet I end up having sex with you tonight."
"Oh yeah? How's that, then?"
"Because I'm much stronger than you."
--
Start talking to the fat one in a group of girls - then tell her you have a knife. Works every time.
--
Send a bottle of champagne over to her table. When she looks at you and smiles, call the waiter back over to your table and instruct him to go over, tell her he's got a knife and bring her to you.
Failsafe.
--
"Quick, call 999!"
"Let me guess...because I've stolen your heart?"
"No, because i've got a knife."
--
"You know what they say about beauty...it protects against all evil. Well, with you I feel really safe! Or perhaps I feel safe because I've got a knife."
--
"Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? J'ai un couteau."
--
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me if I held a knife to it?"
--
"That's a nice dress - it would look great on my bedroom floor. Next to my knife."
--
"Are your feet tired? 'Cos you've been running through my mind all day. Also because I chased you with my knife."
--
"Somebody had better call God cos' he's missing an angel. Call the police too, I have a knife."
--
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or will I have to show you my knife?"
--
"There are 206 bones in the human body. How about one more? Or a knife?"
--
"I know I'm not the best looking guy here tonight, but if you don't come home with me now, I will kill your family."
--
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, walk towards the door. Now."
--
"If you looked into a mirror holding a dozen red roses....you would see the thirteen most beautiful things in the world. Also, me behind you with a knife."
--
"Excuse me, but would you like to dance?"
"No."
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that I've got a knife in my pants."
--
Gesture with your finger to make a cute girl come over to you. When she does, say "If I can make you come with just my finger, imagine what I can make you do with this knife"
--
REMEMBER - girls are impressed by guys with money:
"My pockets aren't big enough for both my money clip and the keys to my Aston Martin. But they're big enough for my knife."
--
"I feel like Richard Gere - standing next to the Pretty Woman. Also, I feel like Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee. I've got a ****ing huge knife."
--
"You know, you look just like my first wife"
"I didn't know you'd been married"
"Sorry, did i say you look just like my wife? I meant I've got a knife. Get in the van."
--
"Can you give me directions to your heart? I seem to have lost myself in your eyes. And also in case I have to use this knife."
--
"Excuse me, but did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"
"No"
"Good. I hope I don't have to ask you the same question again, but about being stabbed by this knife. Walk towards the door."
--
"If I had a twelve inch penis would you come home with me?"
"No."
"Oh well, good job I have a twelve inch knife as well."
--
"You're just a girl, and I'm just a boy...and this is just a knife. Get in the shower."
--
Mav: "Actually, we've only done this, uh, twice"
Charlie: "Oh, how'd ya do?"
Mav: "Crashed and burned on the first one, it wasn't pretty"
Charlie: "And the second?"
Mav: "I don't know, I'll tell you tomorrow, now get in the van. Because I have a knife..."
--
Hi!, M,30 Sheffield. GSOH, N/S likes arts, walks in the rain, vans, etc seeks F, 17 -40 similar tastes. You will reply to box no 6545 because I have a knife.
--
Three women walking down the road, one has a red hat, one a has a blue hat and the third has a yellow hat. Which one will i sleep with tonight?
All of them. I have a knife.
--
Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a knife?
i haven't got a Ferrari in my pocket. Get in the van.
--
"Is that a ladder in your tights"
"Why? Is it a stairway to heaven!"
"No, I have a knife"
--
"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
"Let me guess - fertilised or unf..."
"No, you don't get breakfast in my van."
--
"Excuse me, do you have any Irish in you?"
"No."
"Would you like some?"
"No."
"How about a knife, then? Get in the van."
--
"I'm good at three things: killing, screwing, and sharpening my knife. I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be?"
