Winkle
Manager
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2005
- Messages
- 1,300
It always happens to me..Why.....?f**k nows. Had to be up early today for an interview in Brentwood,so before leaving home I quandered wether or not to have the proverbial dump as Knowing my system I am regular as big ben. Usually after about fifteen to twenty minutes after getting up I get that little pain that tells me "time to go" however I decided against it as I didnt want to be late.
I am not going to go into great detail about my toilet habits apart from the fact (and this is a standing joke) from the onset of the first twinge I maybe have an exit window of roughly about two minutes before I start touching cloth and need for a toilet quickly. I arrived for the interview, sat down outside chatting to this guys secretary when he came out of his office ,I introduced myself and we went through to his office. We sat an chatted for about 10 minutes when the first twinge hit me. Oh for f***K sake I am thinking, of all the times, jesssus chris you are unbeleivable. I squirmed around for a bit not really listening to what this guy was talking about, thinking of an excuse to find a toilet. Suddenly he says to me "can you please excuse for a couple of minutes as I need to do something rather important" Thats ok I says *anal muscles in hoover dam mode* Thinking this is my chance, he leaves and about thirty seconds after I walked out and ask his secretary were the toilets were, down the corridor first on the left. I am now thinking maybe I can get in and out and he might not even notice that I am gone.
There were Three toilets, traps 1,2,3 .Trap 1 is taken so I ran into trap 3 which had no toilet paper so It had to be trap 2.
Its always hard not to make any sort of sound especially as I could here the rustling and movement of the person in trap 1, but on this occasion there was basically no stopping"evacuation" What I can only describe as a "splash back" took place followed by several thuds and a rasping fart of at least 6 seconds, which probably had something to do with the gas of several peroni's and a chicken tikka masala.
Normally I would have waited there until the guy in trap 1 had gone, due to the utter embarrassment But time was of the essence, so I cleaned myself up, exited the door hoping to wash my hands before the occupent in trap 1 got out. I had nearly finished drying my hands underneath the dryer when I heard the bolt on tap 1 go and out he walked....The chap who was interviewing me.
We quickly exchanged glances and I walked back threw along the corridor and into his office. He entered about 20 seconds behind me, appologised for "getting called away" and the interview continued.
Coming to the end of the interview, it was at that point that I new he must of been thinking" Anyone who can s**t like that as no place on my team" and I was thinking " jeez that feels alot better". The interview ended and apart from looks when we shook hands I beated a retreat out of the building. Needless to say I am not holding my breath for a second interveiw and to be truthful it wasnt really the sort of position I am looking for anyway.
I am not going to go into great detail about my toilet habits apart from the fact (and this is a standing joke) from the onset of the first twinge I maybe have an exit window of roughly about two minutes before I start touching cloth and need for a toilet quickly. I arrived for the interview, sat down outside chatting to this guys secretary when he came out of his office ,I introduced myself and we went through to his office. We sat an chatted for about 10 minutes when the first twinge hit me. Oh for f***K sake I am thinking, of all the times, jesssus chris you are unbeleivable. I squirmed around for a bit not really listening to what this guy was talking about, thinking of an excuse to find a toilet. Suddenly he says to me "can you please excuse for a couple of minutes as I need to do something rather important" Thats ok I says *anal muscles in hoover dam mode* Thinking this is my chance, he leaves and about thirty seconds after I walked out and ask his secretary were the toilets were, down the corridor first on the left. I am now thinking maybe I can get in and out and he might not even notice that I am gone.
There were Three toilets, traps 1,2,3 .Trap 1 is taken so I ran into trap 3 which had no toilet paper so It had to be trap 2.
Its always hard not to make any sort of sound especially as I could here the rustling and movement of the person in trap 1, but on this occasion there was basically no stopping"evacuation" What I can only describe as a "splash back" took place followed by several thuds and a rasping fart of at least 6 seconds, which probably had something to do with the gas of several peroni's and a chicken tikka masala.
Normally I would have waited there until the guy in trap 1 had gone, due to the utter embarrassment But time was of the essence, so I cleaned myself up, exited the door hoping to wash my hands before the occupent in trap 1 got out. I had nearly finished drying my hands underneath the dryer when I heard the bolt on tap 1 go and out he walked....The chap who was interviewing me.
We quickly exchanged glances and I walked back threw along the corridor and into his office. He entered about 20 seconds behind me, appologised for "getting called away" and the interview continued.
Coming to the end of the interview, it was at that point that I new he must of been thinking" Anyone who can s**t like that as no place on my team" and I was thinking " jeez that feels alot better". The interview ended and apart from looks when we shook hands I beated a retreat out of the building. Needless to say I am not holding my breath for a second interveiw and to be truthful it wasnt really the sort of position I am looking for anyway.
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