Should've just gone to bed...

[McScriven]

Knife culture isn't just drunk men though it's 16 spotty kids. I got my window on my car smashed a year of so ago and some oik pulled a knife on me when I confronted him as I saw him do it.

Needless to say I gave the cheeky fecker a few slaps for his trouble before he scurried away with his little posse but it could have been a whole lot different.

 

[Hooly]

I have recently taken action to defend myself against louts like these in Maldon by learning the ancient marshal art of ................Tai Chi!  

 

So if a boozed up snail picks on me or someone attacks me slowly with an origami swan, I will be able to use some of the lightning moves I've learnt to defend myself, like "Carry Tiger to Mountain".  Having said that where the flying f*ck am I supposed to find a Tiger in Maldon?  

 Also we seem to be reasonably devoid of Mountains on the Dengie Peninsula to carry the sodding thing, to even if I do accidentally tread on a Tiger on Market Hill.  

 

[McScriven]

Could you not just carry a large dog up the stairs? Surely that would count?

 

[A loyal supporter]

Quote[/b] (McScriven @ Jan. 25 2005,13:01)]Knife culture isn't just drunk men though it's 16 spotty kids.

Thats true about the 'Blazing Squad' teenagers.

Those little white track suited baseball cap f**kers gather en masse in Guildford. They're much more dangerous than a standard boozed up adult and don't give a toss if they kill with their hunting knives!

 

[Ron Manager]

Quote[/b] (McScriven @ Jan. 25 2005,13:03)]Could you not just carry a large dog up the stairs? Surely that would count?

Have you seen the size of Hooly's dogs? It would incapacitate him for months if he tried it and he'd miss the rest of the season............







Actually Hooly, why don't you give it a go.

 

[sufcintheprem]

I'm impressed at the amount of response to this and maybe I was right in not just going to bed.

I would gladly welcome a zero tolerance approach to policing with respect to knives.

As was pointed out, Lufbra isn't even too bad for most sorts of crimes. Putting the murder story aside, I've always felt pretty safe from break ins and muggings and you hear the occasional problem but they're few and far between.

I think the most annoying thing was how much the university culture's changed since I first got here. When I got here, everyone went out for a good time and I never saw a fight on a student night in town or ever in the Union. In contrast, this year, me and my friends have already been the focus of some sort of aggression about 5 or 6 times.

It always seemed that university nights would be the most chilled nights and this seems to reflect a more violent culture. Admittedly, I don't have any research or evidence to back this up other than personal opinion but I suppose a lot of it is how safe you feel walking the streets.

 

[Ron Manager]

On the subject of the 'Blazin Squad' gangs, there is one little group who terrorise our office near the Docklands Arena. However they did make me chuckle the other week. We have an 'interactive window' which basically projects onto a touch screen a computer program that gives information about the business.

Over one weekend however the program crashed and the screen was displaying Windows. These little so and so's used the touch screen to bring up the on-screen keyboard and Internet Explorer and proceeded to visit and display porn sites.

Our office is right by some shops and near a few residential developments and there are a fair few people passing by at weekends, so on our large screen in the window they were treated to a bit of a sight.

My boss didn't agree but I thought it was f**king hilarious

We knew it was them because they popped their heads round the door Monday morning and said 'Oi, where's the internet gone? We want to see the tits and fanny again!'

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Jan. 25 2005,11:08)]You're such a bitch, OS, you were so complimentary after our last tryst...

 

I was just telling you what you wanted to hear so you'd pay for my taxi home.

Worked too. Sucker (in more ways than one).

 

[Gremlin]

Quote[/b] (McScriven @ Jan. 25 2005,12:41)]What does everyone think about the 24 hour drinking?

You can go on for ages talking about it but you'll never know unless you try.

I've tried drinking for 24 hours Dave and I wouldn't recommend it. You have a terrible headache the day after.

 

[McScriven]

Quote[/b] (Gremlin @ Jan. 25 2005,13:26)]

Quote[/b] (McScriven @ Jan. 25 2005,12:41)]What does everyone think about the 24 hour drinking?

You can go on for ages talking about it but you'll never know unless you try.

I've tried drinking for 24 hours Dave and I wouldn't recommend it.  You have a terrible headache the day after.

I'm feeling that brother!

 

[Hooly]

Quote[/b] (Ron Manager @ Jan. 25 2005,13:11)]

Quote[/b] (McScriven @ Jan. 25 2005,13:03)]Could you not just carry a large dog up the stairs? Surely that would count?

Have you seen the size of Hooly's dogs? It would incapacitate him for months if he tried it and he'd miss the rest of the season...........

Agreed Andre.  Dopey & Mopey would be a bit of a handful.  Having said that & bearing in mind that ours is an old house, the stairs are "quaint" to say the least, Lex the large tried to get up them once on his own & fell back down in a wimpering heap, so the chances of me getting him up them is remote.

Perhaps I'll just stick to "carry hamster in a lift"!  

Piers

 

[CANV]

there is more trouble at unis now cos they let the great unwashed in...
in the good old days only nerds got the required amount of a levels in stuff like physics, maths. history, latin.. kids like these have no intrest in drinking let only smacking each other up.. thanks to new labour pesky poor kids from council estates can get in studying woodwork and combined science.. years ago these people would be down a coal mine and off the streets .. standards were bound to fall.. thank god i went to sh*t school n bailed at 16

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Jan. 25 2005,13:25)]I was just telling you what you wanted to hear so you'd pay for my taxi home.

As if I'd want you hanging around afterwards, like the bad smell that you are...

 

[The 4th man]

Quote[/b] (Hooly @ Jan. 25 2005,13:02)]I have recently taken action to defend myself against louts like these in Maldon by learning the ancient marshal art of ................Tai Chi!  

 

So if a boozed up snail picks on me or someone attacks me slowly with an origami swan, I will be able to use some of the lightning moves I've learnt to defend myself, like "Carry Tiger to Mountain".  Having said that where the flying f*ck am I supposed to find a Tiger in Maldon?  

 Also we seem to be reasonably devoid of Mountains on the Dengie Peninsula to carry the sodding thing, to even if I do accidentally tread on a Tiger on Market Hill.  

oooh becarful hooly , its not a quick martial art to learn , but seriously (say 3-5 years ) you really will be capable of putting your average chav on their arse. Chang or Yang style ?

Not sure if youve been taught yet , but they have the funniset (and really efective way ) of getting out of someone grabbing you from behind.

For a quick fix while you learn Tai chi . You might want to learn Wing Chun.

And before some smart alec point outs about a knife or gun, i agree you wont be stab or bullet proof but it will raise your awareness and seeing something coming so you can run off is even better !

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Jan. 25 2005,19:47)]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Jan. 25 2005,13:25)]I was just telling you what you wanted to hear so you'd pay for my taxi home.

As if I'd want you hanging around afterwards, like the bad smell that you are...

 

I take it we're finished then.

Good!

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Jan. 26 2005,07:59)]I take it we're finished then.

Good!

Blimey, feeling a little sensitive are we?!

(This debate has gone off in a rather bizarre direction, although I merely note this:

You started it!

So, ner.)

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Jan. 26 2005,13:34)]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Jan. 26 2005,07:59)]I take it we're finished then.

Good!

Blimey, feeling a little sensitive are we?!

(This debate has gone off in a rather bizarre direction, although I merely note this:

You started it!

So, ner.)

No, you started it... in that bar. Or were you too drunk to remember?

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Jan. 26 2005,14:17)]No, you started it... in that bar. Or were you too drunk to remember?

I'm gonna tell my Dad on you.

Dad, that Maltese bloke is being nasty to me...

 

[RobM.]

Martial Arts? Try Wun Chin Bang!