What is hacking you off today?

[OldBlueLady]

What sad tales you gentlemen have to offer, it's an absolute disgrace in this day and age that our elderly are treated so appallingly.

@Tinks may have something to add?

 

[Blueronron]

Sorry to hear BBL, ,we have problems with an aunt who has onset of dementia, been assessed too bad to live on her own, but not enough to go into care (How does that work out), she has another assessment to morrow, my inlaws have been told not to go around there and therefore she willnot eat or turn on heating and it may get her the "points" she needs, or as my father in law said she will die before the care is in place

The only plus she has funds to go into care, but was told it was £ 1800 per week, if private, which would eat through the monies in months, then left to find a place if available

Good luck mate hope you find a middle ground ,to let the gentleman have respect in his last days

Feel for the social workers but really it needs a major shake up

 

[Blueronron]

Very sad Tony. My in-laws got penalised because they did have savings and owned their home. So you are stuffed if you haven't got money, and stuffed if you have. My Father-in-law very sadly passed away, and then my Mother-in-law got dementia where she wasn't safe at home, or to be left alone. So had to go in a care home for good, and the government took all the savings and sold the house to pay for her care, despite everything being left in the will to his wife and the three daughters. Absolutely ruthless. My Father-in-law worked his whole life starting at 14, and was never out of work for more than a week, until the day he retired. He always said he was driven so that he could leave them all something. I understand and agree some of that should help with her care, but not the lot. But there you go, this is what it's come to.
I hope you have a good outcome Tony. Your step dad deserves better in his final days.

As above post SNB, we are in exact position, she worked all her life, rarely off sick if ever and saved for a rainy day or to give to her nephew and nieces (as on her own) when she passed away, sadly there is days when she knows what is going on and gets confused and anger with some many social workers asking her questions, then ten minutes later forgot what she was asked

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Sorry to hear BBL, ,we have problems with an aunt who has onset of dementia, been assessed too bad to live on her own, but not enough to go into care (How does that work out), she has another assessment to morrow, my inlaws have been told not to go around there and therefore she willnot eat or turn on heating and it may get her the "points" she needs, or as my father in law said she will die before the care is in place

The only plus she has funds to go into care, but was told it was £ 1800 per week, if private, which would eat through the monies in months, then left to find a place if available

Good luck mate hope you find a middle ground ,to let the gentleman have respect in his last days

Feel for the social workers but really it needs a major shake up

Yes Blueronron, there is that awful stage where you know she is not safe on her own, and can't do things like simple cooking in the oven or on the hob, or work the microwave. You have to unplug the cooker in the end, as too unsafe to leave on, as she will leave something cooking and forget it. We arranged home care and meals for quite a few months. They also start to do strange things like go for a walk and get lost, and in my case, ring me up at 3 or 4am many times, asking where I am, as it's daytime in her mind. As well as the normal asking you repeat questions over and over as they forget what they said 2 minutes ago. Long term memory is normally great tho, and they can talk and describe perfectly about the end of the 2nd world war or their work. She also worked for about 30 years. I wonder how much National Insurance they both paid into the system. We kept saying she's unsafe and needs to be in a home, they kept saying she still has 'capacity'. They more or less wait for something to happen. And it usually does. Care around here is normally £800--£1200 a week, as my ex and sisters looked at many care homes. £1800 a week is normally the London area. Best of luck with your Aunt Blueronron.

 

[Blueronron]

Yes Blueronron, there is that awful stage where you know she is not safe on her own, and can't do things like simple cooking in the oven or on the hob, or work the microwave. You have to unplug the cooker in the end, as too unsafe to leave on, as she will leave something cooking and forget it. We arranged home care and meals for quite a few months. They also start to do strange things like go for a walk and get lost, and in my case, ring me up at 3 or 4am many times, asking where I am, as it's daytime in her mind. As well as the normal asking you repeat questions over and over as they forget what they said 2 minutes ago. Long term memory is normally great tho, and they can talk and describe perfectly about the end of the 2nd world war or their work. She also worked for about 30 years. I wonder how much National Insurance they both paid into the system. We kept saying she's unsafe and needs to be in a home, they kept saying she still has 'capacity'. They more or less wait for something to happen. And it usually does. Care around here is normally £800--£1200 a week, as my ex and sisters looked at many care homes. £1800 a week is normally the London area. Best of luck with your Aunt Blueronron.

£ 1800 a week is private sadly Stanford le Hope rate,once she gets the ok from Social then it would reduce to about £ 3500 per month. I was shocked, and yes all the things you mention above is happening, we have unplugged cooker and got her a microwave for carer to cook, only to find she thrown it out into the dustcart

If not so sad we would be laughing as that's two she has now thrown away in 4 weeks, feel for inlaws both in late 80's and this time of life should be able to take things easy, but as mum in law sister how can they

 

[MK Shrimper]

My "aunt" Dot was in a home for about the last 5 (?) years of her life. Her children sold her house and even then it didn't cover the bills for the remainder of her life. You'd think it'd mean she lived in luxury - but no, the home was full of (sadly) people with dementia & Alzheimeirs who could be violent to both staff & residents.

I'd rather pop over to Dignitas than have to suffer that when I get there. Fortunately my mum (who's 91 this year) is fully with it, lives at home, and it still fairly active.

Social care is non-existant in this country, but that's a whole thread for the lost politics thread.

 

[MK Shrimper]

My daughter's friends mums - they arranging play dates then blow them out for some pathetic reason. One lives about 9 doors away, how hard is it to get your arse over for one hour after school? MK Jnr hasn't seen them in an age and was looking forward to it.

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Yep MK. I not only visit me Mother-in-law, but also her elderly friend, that I took over with helping when my Father-in-law passed away. I became an unpaid carer, and also did all her odd jobs and the front and back garden. She's such a lovely kind lady, and deserved help. She is now in a care home, paid for with all her savings and bungalow sale shortly. So I see quite a bit when I go each week for visits. The dementia sufferers are always going in each others rooms and getting in the wrong bed or taking their stuff. That then causes arguments, with some getting quite violent, even tho they was never violent before dementia. They tend to punch or kick each other. One lady shook herself violently the other day for a few minutes. It looked like a fit, but when the carer rushed in, the lady said the ghost was shaking her again and wouldn't go away. Please Lord, don't let me suffer from dementia.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

What sad tales you gentlemen have to offer, it's an absolute disgrace in this day and age that our elderly are treated so appallingly.

@Tinks may have something to add?

@Tinks isn't that old!

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

Piddling renewal time! home,car, energy; all same time stuff.

House sorted and after phoning the original company took price down to below last years BUT why did they expect to get another £60 off me? just lazy and annoying stuff.
Car(s) nearly sorted, got cheaper quote and now will go back to start and see what they do?
Energy, still sorting it but likely to be Bulb still.
It is all ball cucks sucks though isn't it?

 

[Tinks]

@Tinks isn't that old!

Haha well I am semi retired now!
Most of you are aware of my profession within the NHS and of my role within the care Sector.
I have seen and heard most things in Older People care and I have to add that if any of you were to develop dementia (heaven forbid you don’t) then statistically one of the best areas for care of the person with dementia is actually Southend.
The rules around care payments in my view are very unfair and if you work and save hard and then need care you end paying yourself however, if you spend all and don’t save the local authority will find care but, your choices of care is very much restricted.

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

Good luck mate hope you find a middle ground ,to let the gentleman have respect in his last days
Feel for the social workers but really it needs a major shake up

We got a call from Social worker this morning, asking again if we had money to send Step Dad into private care?. Reminded her we told her 3 times yesterday when she asked, the answer was no, & alas we didn't win Euro Millions last night, so the situation hadn't changed.
Hosp Ward then phoned saying he was being discharged after noon, but had to come home in an ambulance, not collected by us, as he is too frail to walk out Hosp to a waiting car, & had to be pushed out in a wheelchair to an Ambulance???. Yet he is well enough to be sent home, & just sit in a chair totally helpless 24/7!. FFS, you couldn't make it up eh??.
First Carer due at 4pm. Got a call from a Hosp Sister 3.30pm, saying he wont be coming home today, as he collapsed in the discharge room, blood pressure plunged & had a heavy nosebleed, so back up to Windsor Ward. Went straight there, Consultant examined him, said they'd monitor him overnight before discharging him again tomorrow?????. Dear oh fu**ing dear, groundhog day will commence again tomorrow?.
And just to cap it off, left a note on his front door for the Carer to call next door for the front door key.
She phoned me at 5.45pm & guess what, surprise, surprise, no Carer had been round ( they hadn't been informed by Hosp of this afternoons events ).
Methinks i've got a few mega stressful days ahead!.

 

[OldBlueLady]

God, that's terrible!

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

God, that's terrible!

In total agreement, have told both Social Care Worker & Hosp Ward Consultant, that within a week he will either be back in there, or dead ( i think the latter ).
When questioning them this morning, why being discharged today, was told the y need the bed!!!!.
Yep, they wern't wrong on that count, as hes back in it. And another interesting observation i noticed when going to see him late afternoon, all other 5 patients who had been in the ward over last few days had also been discharged, as new faces in the beds.
They must have some kind of magic dust, as of yesterday all 5 looked in a poorly way, & to be blunt, i've seen more life in a tramps vest, than those 5 other poor souls had yesterday.

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Yep Tony, that's par for the course. I was also helping my neighbour Gina across the road from me up until 2 years ago. She had all sorts wrong with her. She was in and out of Hospital, and I would take her there if no ambulance, and also take her to her doctor's appointments and look after her cat, etc etc. She was a really nice lady. At the end she became very ill, but I got a call from a Hospital sister asking if I could come and pick her up as they needed the bed. I said first of all I visited her that morning and she is too ill to come home, and secondly, she was in no state to get into a car. They brought her home in an ambulance, but had to take her back that night, surprise, surprise. She sadly passed away later the next week in Southend Hospital of Sepsis that she got in Hospital. It really is shocking what's going on with the elderly. It doesn't surprise me at all that those other 5 were vacated from the Hospital to free up beds.

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

All of this stuff reminds me of my mother-in-law's passing a few years back.She was in her 80's and had dementia towards the end.My wife organised 24/7 home care for her (including social worker visits etc)during the week and would stay with her herself at weekends,sharing shifts with other members of the family,including our adult daughers etc It wasn't easy for anyone concerned believe me.

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

Yep Tony, that's par for the course. I was also helping my neighbour Gina across the road from me up until 2 years ago. She had all sorts wrong with her. She was in and out of Hospital, and I would take her there if no ambulance, and also take her to her doctor's appointments and look after her cat, etc etc. She was a really nice lady. At the end she became very ill, but I got a call from a Hospital sister asking if I could come and pick her up as they needed the bed. I said first of all I visited her that morning and she is too ill to come home, and secondly, she was in no state to get into a car. They brought her home in an ambulance, but had to take her back that night, surprise, surprise. She sadly passed away later the next week in Southend Hospital of Sepsis that she got in Hospital. It really is shocking what's going on with the elderly. It doesn't surprise me at all that those other 5 were vacated from the Hospital to free up beds.

Ronnie, yet another sad story, probably one of such a multitude of numbers that have occurred, we'd be shocked if we knew?.
Problem is, the people we deal with are only foot soldiers, who are given their remit by their Captain. They then have to submit their monthly report to their General, who then has to keep their paymaster ( Government) happy.
That's why you just bang your head against a wall, because you can never meet or speak to the anonymous individuals, who instigate the chain of operation in the disgraceful demise of genuine elderly people?.
It's all very well, quoting statistics that people are living to a much older age, than decades ago, but for what for??.
To be treated like a piece of garbage, when they need help, having paid into the system for all their working life's. Very sad & appalling.

 

[ESG]

The latest craze seems to be mobile phone calls on loudspeaker. Everyone around has to endure both sides of the conversation or row

 

[MK Shrimper]

Booking a flight with FlyBe without knowing it was (possibly) about to go into administration.

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

Booking a flight with FlyBe without knowing it was (possibly) about to go into administration.

I imagine you paid by C/C (which should mean you'll be able to get your money back eventually).