Wife swap's rule changes in our own lives.

[DTS]

I am sure most of you are familiar with Wife Swap on Channel 4 - but for those of you who are not baiscally you get two generally weird couples and the wifes from each house swap places and go and live in the other ones house for two weeks.

Week one they live by the old wives rules and week two they get too swap the rules to suit them.

So I was thinking today if I could swap three things about Mrs DtS and our home life what would I go for.

So my rule changes at home are as follows.

1) Mrs DtS not allowed to bore me with full blown details of what everyone said in the office for the full 8 hours she was there each day. I really dont care in the slightest who angered Ruth or what Rick said !!!!!

2) Mrs DtS is no longer allowed to ask me to come to the stables with her to come and look at her horse. I cant really say No as you look like a right ******* but I really cant be arsed to look at horses on a Sunday afternoon.

3) Mrs DtS must throw away all the bloody plants in the house. Why the hell do we need so many flowers, plants, lemon trees etc etc. This drives me wild.

So I open this up to the board. If you could swap three things about your partner, mate, Mum and Dad / home life etc etc that would make you life more complete what would you go for?

DtS

 

[TrueBlue]

Did Rick anger Ruth then??

 

[DTS]

Did Rick anger Ruth then??

Dont even ****ing ask mate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[South Bank Hank]

More to the point, did Ruth behave herself on the company swimming holiday in Nottingham?

 

[TrueBlue]

hmmm well maybe Rick got his manhood out and stuck it in Ruth's Guava and Pineapple juice drink? maybe that angered Ruth?

 

[DTS]

Basically as you all seem so keen to know....Ruth has some form of disease where the dark effects her and makes her feel sad (Dont we all) and Rick feels he is not appreciated.

I have of couse summarised a 30 mins conversation above.

 

[TrueBlue]

Basically as you all seem so keen to know....Ruth has some form of disease where the dark effects her and makes her feel sad (Dont we all) and Rick feels he is not appreciated.

I have of couse summarised a 30 mins conversation above.

So what was the outcome is Rick going to plate Ruth?

 

[Benji91]

1) Mrs DtS not allowed to bore me with full blown details of what everyone said in the office for the full 8 hours she was there each day. I really dont care in the slightest who angered Ruth or what Rick said !!!!!

This i can handle - as i usually just zone out through the story - pick up on some of the names and say "so what did Person X say" every now and again whilst zoning out.

I would adapt this to only being allowed to bore me with the story once. Ive lost count of the times ive been told the same story over and over again "did i tell you about...."

yes, on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday morning and afternoon..... didnt really care then, not too fussed now either.

 

[Benji91]

Basically as you all seem so keen to know....Ruth has some form of disease where the dark effects her and makes her feel sad (Dont we all) and Rick feels he is not appreciated.

I have of couse summarised a 30 mins conversation above.

Why doesnt Ruth invite Rick on a holiday to the Artic where its sunny all day long. Problem solved.

 

[TrueBlue]

But what if Rick was to go down to the local cheese shop? I don't know if the one at Liverpool Street is still open, and we could purchase her a nice bit of English Stilton then he could maybe repair the damage of the Guava incident!

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

But what if Rick was to go down to the local cheese shop? I don't know if the one at Liverpool Street is still open, and we could purchase her a nice bit of English Stilton then he could maybe repair the damage of the Guava incident!

Surely, Ruth is still scarred at the sight of Rick's "cheese" in the initial incident? Pacifying her with some Stilton might not go far enough?

 

[Benji91]

so 3 rules:
1. Sky + was never designed to record reality shows on MTV or the Strictly Come Dancing results. This wastes valuable space which is better served with Southend matches and highlights.

2. No random screaming when you see a Spider / Daddy long legs. Its kind of like the boy who cried wolf - one day it will be serious and i wont come running.

3. Leave things where they are. My memory is pretty good so if i put something down and it doesnt fit into what you consider is its proper place - just leave it, as i will remember where i left it and will save us 40 minutes of arguing later on in the day.

 

[Benji91]

Surely, Ruth is still scarred at the sight of Rick's "cheese" in the initial incident? Pacifying her with some Stilton might not go far enough?

Ill be honest - with something this serious im surprised no one else in the office has got involved or has an opinion.

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

so 3 rules:
1. Sky + was never designed to record reality shows on MTV or the Strictly Come Dancing results. This wastes valuable space which is better served with Southend matches and highlights.

2. No random screaming when you see a Spider / Daddy long legs. Its kind of like the boy who cried wolf - one day it will be serious and i wont come running.

3. Leave things where they are. My memory is pretty good so if i put something down and it doesnt fit into what you consider is its proper place - just leave it, as i will remember where i left it and will save us 40 minutes of arguing later on in the day.

Benji, is my Mrs leading a double life & also living with you? :D

 

[Benji91]

Benji, is my Mrs leading a double life & also living with you? :D

I dont think we could both be that unlucky

 

[Pubey]

am i the only one who after reading the title found the actual post an anti-climax!?

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

am i the only one who after reading the title found the actual post an anti-climax!?

Probably not, Slipper probably read it too & is now back to deviously thinking about going to a swingers party with Kate McCann!

 

[Slipperduke]

1, Mrs Slipperduke must finally accept that watching football is no longer a leisure choice, it's a legitimate and vital part of the working day.

2, Mrs Slipperduke must remember that when someone is under orders to write 1,200 entertaining words of football analysis within 45 minutes of a full time whistle, that it is not a good time to pester them to take the rubbish out/wash the dishes/fix the leaking pipe/have deep and meaningful conversation about the future.

3, Mrs Slipperduke must understand that films about war are always, always, always more interesting than films about women who are unlucky in love with 'hilarious' consequences before the inevitable appearance of that Matthew McCauney character.

 

[callan]

Rules that I wish Mrs C would abide by but doesnt.

1) Keep out of my shed - its none of her business whats in there, and it will never need tidying.

2)Telling me gossip from soap opera's - Ive no interest in hearing this purile drivel, save it for your mates.

3) And this ones really p!sses me off - watching England in Euro 96 does not qualify her as anyway as a football expert so I expect complete silence during our evenings in watching football on the telly.

4) Parking the car - Hitting other peoples bumpers lightly is not a good indication of how well you are carrying out this manouver.

5) Store Cards - No.

6) Im 41 years years old - Do she really believe that reporting my supossed wrong doings to my grey haired old mother is going to make any difference.

7) Things do not break because they are old and need replacing...they break because you and the kids are bloody clumsy.

8) Excersise - As most of you know I have the physique of an Olympian and do not need to join Fitness First - she should keep her opinions to her self.

There are plenty more but I'll only end up upsetting myself.