Worst SUFC Div 3 Team Seasons (97-05)

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This subject came up between myself and Proud Shrimper aka Slackman a couple of months ago.

The conversation about bad footballers came up as funnily enough a team called Chester who claimed to be a football side were playing us.

Who would you list as your worst all time div 3 XI
That be from seaon 97-98 when we dropped into this pit of a league

Thoughts please, mine personally would be in attacking 3-2-5 formation

GK - Carl Emberson - norrowly edged out the Prudhoe, hands like dinner plates, but if the dinner plates are covered in grease you want catch anything
RB - Duncan Jupp - Main principle of a defender is to do so clearly Jupp does not understand this
LB - Jamie Stuart - was dropped last season for Super Cheese Wilson couldnt get much worse than that as wilson was pants last season (che you are the most improved player this season)
CB - David Morely - Ditto Jupp
CM - Gordon Connolly - 45mins vs Brighton not bad for nearly 2 seasons worth of play
CM - Simon Livett - Classic Alvin Martin signing ran the show from the middle of the park week in week out, remember the time when alvin went to send him on and we cried no, he was told to sit back down!!
LW - Steven Clark - For all those times he ran the ball into the advertising haulings
RW - Michael Husbands - quite frankly pants, and for always coming up on the text team news as having an ''ankle problem''
CF - Neil Campbell - 2 goals vs the orient, that was it for the barry conlon clone
CF - Jason Harris - Could only be described as a target man meaning you couldnt miss him with a pass he was that big
CF - Neville Roach - Plucked from obscurity by Alvin went back there shortly after

SUBS
Mark Prudhoe - ah yes the great one himself dropped those clangers at barnet and never played for the club again
Graeme Jones - Great player in the scottish leagues but then again my nan could play that standard
David Whyte - apparently alvin signed him after he was recommended by a fan, did this fan reccomend any of the above???
Daniel Webb - Only here because of his old man, glad to see his career has gone onto bigger and better things


Please bring anymore pants players to my attention if you remember any

UP THE BLUES!!

3PTS VS SHREWBURY TONIGHT

 

[TrueBlue]

Quote[/b] ]LW - Steven Clark - For all those times he ran the ball into the advertising haulings
RW - Michael Husbands - quite frankly pants, and for always coming up on the text team news as having an ''ankle problem''

Bit harsh on both of them!

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Scunthorpe United FC

 

[Guest]

Not harsh at all on Clark or Husbands. Both dreadful. I might be tempted to put Coleman in at centre half instead of Big Dave Morley.

A few others-
Dean Holness
Brett Darby
Gavin Strachan
Tony Richards
Danny Kerrigan
Ryan Robinson
Ronnie Henry
Rio 'His name is Rio' Alderton

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Surely three unwritten rules of the "worst team" exercise is that:

1. It must be 4-4-2 (since, essentially, that's what we always played)
2. Players must not be played out of position (or at least have played a number of games in a particular position... e.g. Booty at Left Back, Houghton at Left Back, Leon Johsnon at Left Back, Danny Kerrigan at Left Back - spot a recurring theme here?)
3. Players must have had a few starts at least to count (aka the "Rio Alderton defence"

)

On that basis my team lines up thus (and with apologies to Napster):

Prudhoe

Beard McSweeney Morley Houghton

Connelly Thurgood Gooding Livett

G. Jones N. Campbell

Subs: Southall, Belgrave, Foley, Richards, S. Jones

And think of the forwards I've left out... Marney, Webb, Fitzpatrick, Roach, Clark... Makes you realise just how much Tilly & Brush have done to turn our squad round.

 

[The Fitter]

I always liked Dave Morley

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (The Fitter @ Feb. 22 2005,14:35)]I always liked Dave Morley

Dangerous Dave Morley? A decent footballer, sure - and often unfairly treated as the utility man.

But as a central defender...?! His chief problem was that he was prone to make one suicidal mistake per 90 minutes that almost invariably gave the opposition a goal-scoring opportunity on a plate.

And that's why he absolutely must go in a worst XI. Incidentally, in one sense it's quite a difficult XI to pick:

*we've had so few proper full-backs in the last decade - particularly right-sided - that when we've had a proper full-back, they've generally come across as adequate (e.g. Searle, Stuart, Booty, Jupp - none of them players you'd wax lyrical about signing... but all pretty solid compared to some of the out-of-position players we've stuck there)

*oddly, for a side which has done so badly on such a regular basis, you struggle to pick two really awful centre backs - IMHO Cort, Roget, Newman, Coleman, Whelan, Warren were all pretty damn solid (although none on a par with this season's stars); which was why I had to pick Morley & McSweeney.

*the same applies to centre midfielders, really. Perhaps that's because the one centre midfielder who has been here for that whole period - Kevin Maher - has transformed to unspeakable in his first season, to unbeatable now.

*however, when it comes to wingers and forwards... frankly, the candidates are falling over each other in terms of their awfulness to get into the Worst XI - it's almost impossible to know who to leave out. The litany of dross we've had up front and on the flanks beggars belief, frankly.

 

[BoyWonder2]

Going on who I have seen play, my team would be as follows.

GK - Ryan Robinson

RB - Leon Johnson
CB - David McSweeney
CB - Dave Morley
LB - Danny Kerrigan

RW - Daniel Marney
CM - Stuart Thurgood
CM - Rio Alderton
LW - Neil Jenkins

CF - Graeme Jones
CF - Dominic Foley

Subs,

Carl Emberson, Tony Richards, Daniel Webb, Barrington Belgrave and Jamie Stuart

From the above team, what worries me is the number of them that have come through our Centre of Excellence. These include Kerrigan, Johnson, McSweeney who were all terrible and its surely a crime that they became professional footballers through our Centre of Excellence?!

 

[Westcliff Shrimper]

This thread really does scare me with all the dross that listers are quoting.

Doesn't bare thinking about....

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (BoyWonder2 @ Feb. 22 2005,14:52)]Leon Johnson

Slightly harsh again I feel!

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

BoyWonder2...

1. How can you pick Leon Johnson at right back? Did he ever play there? Can't have done more than once. V. unfair on the lad to pick him in that position.

2. There is also the "Rio Alderton defence"... you can't pick someone in midfield with precisely 53 minutes of 1st team football to his name. Gotta go with someone else. Pretty harsh on Dean Holness too - who although he has a league start to his name (

), only played 50 minutes of 1st team football for SUFC.

 

[BoyWonder2]

Quote[/b] ]Gavin Strachan

Quote[/b] ]Ronnie Henry

Quote[/b] ]Steven Clark

Quote[/b] ]Michael Husbands

Quote[/b] ]Duncan Jupp

I feel that they are all a tad harsh. Strachan was a decent passer of the ball and had the ability to strike a dead ball which, even with Maher, Gower, Eastwood and Nicky, we are still struggling to do.

With Ronnie Henry, the reason people disliked him as a player has to be because we had Stephen Kelly on loan just before him, who would be on the bench at least in the best Southend XI from division 3.

Steven Clark wasn't too dissimilar to Tes Bramble I think. On his day he was truly class, just look at the QPR game. He ran the show and scored a blinder. On his debut Vs Plymouth, again he looked class. Just lacked consistency.

Michael Husbands has been unluckly during his spell here. He has been injured and has fallen out with Tilly as well which doesn't help. He was great Vs Gillingham in that pre-season game and was arguably the best player during this pre-season. There looked to be a good partnership forming between Drewenaldo and Husbands before Husbands got injured Vs Mansfield.

Duncan Jupp has been our second best right back during our third division days if you ask me, only behind Lewis Hunt. This doesn't make him a quality right back but really just highlights the shocking right full backs that we have had over recent years and on that alone he shouldn't be making the squad, let alone the starting 11.

 

[BoyWonder2]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 22 2005,14:58)]BoyWonder2...

1. How can you pick Leon Johnson at right back?  Did he ever play there?  Can't have done more than once.  V. unfair on the lad to pick him in that position.

2. There is also the "Rio Alderton defence"... you can't pick someone in midfield with precisely 53 minutes of 1st team football to his name.  Gotta go with someone else.  Pretty harsh on Dean Holness too - who although he has a league start to his name (

), only played 50 minutes of 1st team football for SUFC.

1) I seem to recall him playing that position at least half a dozen times and goes done as possibly the worst right full back I've seen play at any level. I could pick a few sunday league footballers who are better then him in that position. Yes there probably could have been other players I could have picked in that position that have played more times but I haven't seen that many different right full backs. The only other ones I can think of were McSweeney (Who made the team at centre half, so it would have been harsh to include him at right back as well), Carl Hutchings (Whilst it wasn't his best position, still did a grand job there), Duncan Jupp and Lewis Hunt.

2) Rio Alderton will go down as the worse footballer I have ever seen in my 18 years. He couldn't trap the ball, let alone control it, couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't head and everytime he went for a tackle, I thought he was going to break the opponent in half. Yes the decision is being made on more than just his league appearances (I didn't realise he ever played for the first team) it goes on reserve team appearances and pre-season games.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Pleased to say none of them made my starting XI... or even the bench...

 

[BoyWonder2]

 

[TrueBlue]

Quote[/b] ]Beard

Mts former player of the year Mark Beard! shocker!

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (BoyWonder2 @ Feb. 22 2005,15:07)]Rio Alderton will go down as the worse footballer I have ever seen in my 18 years. Yes the decision is being made on more than just his league appearances (I didn't realise he ever played for the first team) it goes on reserve team appearances and pre-season games.

But that's the point of the Rio Alderton defence. There's little doubt that he is one of the worst ever footballers to have pulled on the hallowed blue jersey. Indeed, I remember Adrian - our sometime resident Chelmsford City fan - stating that Alderton was one of the worst players he'd ever seen in the claret of Chelmsford City.

However, the point is that a worst XI must be made up of players who have turned out at least half a dozen times for the Blues in a particular position. The half-dozen, on that basis, allows you to keep Leon Johnson in your side (if that stat is right... can't say I ever remember him turning out at right back, let alone half a dozen times).

Otherwise, surely, it's a meaningless exercise, isn't it? I mean, Phil Whelan played up front a couple of times and was pretty unspeakable... but you wouldn't have him in your worst XI as an attacker, would you?

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (TrueBlue @ Feb. 22 2005,15:11)]

Quote[/b] ]Beard

Mts former player of the year Mark Beard! shocker!

I know, Scott.  I remember when that announcement was made - at a game against Hartlepool at Roots Hall, IIRC.  It was met with dumbfounded silence, if my memory serves me correctly.

I remember thinking that if Beard was the best that we had, it truly was a sign of how far we had fallen that season.

Beard was an honest pro who worked hard - which made him pretty unique in the Chipmunk's side that season.

But I stand by my decision... he was a right back, and as such, he's the worst right back we've had in an awfully, awfully long time - especially in his second stint recently.  No surprise that when he left here, he dropped to the bottom of the Conference (and is now, I think, in the Ryman Premier) with Kingstonian...

 

Matt

 

[BoyWonder2]

Quote[/b] ]Otherwise, surely, it's a meaningless exercise, isn't it? I mean, Phil Whelan played up front a couple of times and was pretty unspeakable... but you wouldn't have him in your worst XI as an attacker, would you?

No because sometimes he did a effective job. Well effective compared to Webb, Richards, Jones, Marney, Darby, Foley et al.

Quote[/b] ]But that's the point of the Rio Alderton defence. There's little doubt that he is one of the worst ever footballers to have pulled on the hallowed blue jersey. Indeed, I remember Adrian - our sometime resident Chelmsford City fan - stating that Alderton was one of the worst players he'd ever seen in the claret of Chelmsford City.

However, the point is that a worst XI must be made up of players who have turned out at least half a dozen times for the Blues in a particular position. The half-dozen, on that basis, allows you to keep Leon Johnson in your side (if that stat is right... can't say I ever remember him turning out at right back, let alone half a dozen times).

That hasn't been stated by the guy that started this thread. Yes that makes sense and based on that Alderton wouldn't be in the team, but I'm going by what the guy that started this thread said. Sorry.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (BoyWonder2 @ Feb. 22 2005,15:18)]That hasn't been stated by the guy that started this thread. Yes that makes sense and based on that Alderton wouldn't be in the team, but I'm going by what the guy that started this thread said. Sorry.

True... but then I quibbled with the guy who started the thread as to the basis on which he set it out. Is this a list of the eleven worst players since we dropped to Div 3; or is it the "worst SUFC Team"?

The reason I ask that is that, surely, those two things above are most certainly not one and the same...