Worst SUFC Div 3 Team Seasons (97-05)

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (royceisagod @ Feb. 22 2005,15:47)]here we go again anouther debate about maher

1. You started it!

2. We all know that you're pulling our legs anyway, and that you think Maher is brilliant. Either that, or it's a short trip to Runwell for you...

 

[royceisagod]

Thats it fella play the game.

thank you

 

[The Fitter]

Royce is a god?
Royce could'nt kick the ball past the 18 yard box

 

[Guest]

It's funny that now we've finally, finally, finally, finally got a decent team together it makes it so much easier to appreciate why we were so f**king sh*t before. The amount of sub-standard players that have turned out for us in the last eight or nine years is just plain embarassing.

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 22 2005,14:34)]Surely three unwritten rules of the "worst team" exercise is that:

1. It must be 4-4-2 (since, essentially, that's what we always played)
2. Players must not be played out of position (or at least have played a number of games in a particular position... e.g. Booty at Left Back, Houghton at Left Back, Leon Johsnon at Left Back, Danny Kerrigan at Left Back - spot a recurring theme here?)
3. Players must have had a few starts at least to count (aka the "Rio Alderton defence"

)

On that basis my team lines up thus (and with apologies to Napster):

                       Prudhoe

Beard       McSweeney   Morley     Houghton

Connelly   Thurgood       Gooding   Livett

              G. Jones     N. Campbell

Subs: Southall, Belgrave, Foley, Richards, S. Jones

And think of the forwards I've left out... Marney, Webb, Fitzpatrick, Roach, Clark...  Makes you realise just how much Tilly & Brush have done to turn our squad round.

MtS is, as normal, completely wrong

Firstly, the formation should be anything but 4-4-2. 4-4-2 is by far and away the best formation, and our problems have tended to arise when the managerial genius in charge has decided that an alternative formation is required. Most notably Alvin Martin regularly employed 5-3-2/3-5-2 to disasterous results.

Secondly, many players were so horrifically bad than even the likes of Alvin Martin could realise that they weren't good enough for this level. Seeing Rio Alderton 'perform' for 20 minutes is sufficient for his inclusion in the XI.

My XI would be

Southall
A. Harris Jordan Dublin
Abiodun Alderton Parris Livett Darby
Richards J. Harris

A team so shockingly bad that when they belatedly left Roots Hall I think only Andy Harris played again in the football league, and most dropped below the conference, but still found first team places elusive.

Subs Roach, Kerrigan, Wyan Wobinson

 

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 22 2005,15:40)]

Quote[/b] (Napster @ Feb. 22 2005,15:36)]Would that be Bombhead, current England international?

Yes, Paul.  He was cack.  And I did at least apologise for including him...

He wasn't the worst though...

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Feb. 22 2005,16:24)]MtS is, as normal, completely wrong

Yeah, whatever... as if you get it right...

I'm appalled you're all shirking the challenge of being a bit controversial. Picking Alderton is the ultimate "no brainer". As for Parris... who?

Anyone with the guts to do this seriously would be picking players who you could say were properly Southend United players... i.e. who were either here for more than one season, or who had at least 6 first team starts to their name. People who you would instantly say... "oh, crumbs yes, he did play for us... and he was awful."

I mean, hands up who else has never heard of Parris... On that basis, how is it in the least bit sensible to include him in our Worst XI side?

Brave pick of Abiodun over Connelly, incidentally... Yemi was poor, but he never delved into the depths which oor Gordon plumbed.

Finally, your 3-5-2 thing... yeah, whatever. How many times did we line up like that? I can remember some 5-3-2 line-ups under the Chipmunk with Hails/Beard and Houghton as "wing-backs" (laughing out loud), but never once recall a 3-5-2.

But then you did always like to make it up as you went along, Cousin Weir...

 

[sufcintheprem]

I'm sure Leon Johnson is worried about being picked in the worst XI having moved on to Gillingham and playing Championship football.

This will upset a lot of people but from waht I've seen of Kightly, he may be fitting in to a team like this. Always looked like he may have had potential but was this just pace?

 

[Alex]

Prudhoe

stuart coleman beard

barry-murphey gooding livett connolly

richards harris campbell

subs
emberson
roach
g.jones
hutchings
marney

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] ] As for Parris... who?

George Parris. Ex-Wet Sham and one of Alvin's mates. He was dire.

Quote[/b] ]
Brave pick of Abiodun over Connelly, incidentally... Yemi was poor, but he never delved into the depths which oor Gordon plumbed.

Gordon Connelly was at the time (along with Kevin Maher)described as the worse player to have ever played for Southend. I always thought this was harsh. Connelly never did much (apart from pass back to his full-back), but he could at least control a ball. Yemi Abiodun was one of many in that team who could not perform that simple but essential task.

Quote[/b] ]Finally, your 3-5-2 thing... yeah, whatever. How many times did we line up like that? I can remember some 5-3-2 line-ups under the Chipmunk with Hails/Beard and Houghton as "wing-backs" (laughing out loud), but never once recall a 3-5-2.

3-5-2 is the same as 5-3-2. In both formations the wing-backs are stuck in no-mans land, neither defending nor attacking effectively. Hails and Houghton were (allegedly) both wingers, I think it is therefore fair to include two wingers in a 3-5-2/5-3-2 formation.

I think you are just upset because I didn't include Boere.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Feb. 22 2005,18:02)]I think you are just upset because I didn't include Boere.

No. If you notice, nor did I.

I've never questioned his ability. But I've always voted him "worst ever" SUFC footballer for so many other reasons - not on ability.

I've voted him that on value for money, effort given, pride in the shirt, contribution to the club, talent-to-product ratio...

On those criteria, one must surely struggle to think of a worse footballer than him.

But on pure ability alone, of course not... he's nowhere near the Worst XI - and I'd never seek to argue for a second that he was.

Matt

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Feb. 22 2005,18:02)]

Quote[/b] ]  As for Parris... who?

George Parris. Ex-Wet Sham and one of Alvin's mates. He was dire.

Yeah, whatever.  No more than a speck of dust in the history of SUFC... a whopping 73-minute long career for SUFC.

I honestly can't believe you're asking us to accept him in your Worst XI.  Essentially, unless you were in the away end at the Bescot Stadium on 30th August 1997, Parris' SUFC career might as well not have happened.

Come on...!   Pick players who we all saw (*), who we can all debate.  Otherwise, it merely becomes a glorified exercise in being "Loyal Supporters"... yeah, I saw so & so away at Walsall... he was rubbish.

You're just smarting because no one except you has picked Keith Dublin.

(*E.g. That's why I picked Mick Gooding. He played for us over a number of years as we slid down the tables... and I never saw him pass the ball forwards once. People used to refer to him as Micky Sideways... this almost 40 year-old crab, shuffling across our pathetic midfield.)

 

[Proud Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (statski77 @ Feb. 22 2005,13:52)]David Whyte - apparently alvin signed him after he was recommended by a fan, did this fan reccomend any of the above???

Now you know full well Matthew that that fan was me......

Here's my worst XI:

GK: Carl Emberson - uh, words fail me they really do! Hands like dinner plates and feet in quicksand!
RB: Duncan Jupp - fair play he played very well when he replaced Hunt tonight.....but he was quite clearly the main culprit of our defensive problems earlier this season and I can't think of anyone worse.
LB: Jamie Stuart - we've been fortunate in the left-back department, Stuart was the worst though.
CB: Dave Morley - he wasn't called "Dangerous Dave" for nothing.....
CB: Andy Harris - his own goals were legendary...and his pass-backs gave big problems to many a keeper at Roots Hall!
RM: Gordon Connelly - as has been said a marvellous 45mins from the Scot who tore Brighton to shreds....but the rest of the time he was a f***ing waste of space!
CM: Simon Livett - absolute cack, enough said!
CM: Lars Unger - maybe a controversial one this but he came to us on loan with a reputation as being a fine midfield player who was looking for a move to the Premier$hite or Division One and what did he do for us? Nothing.....
LW: Steven Clark - no brain, footballs equivalent of Forrest Gump (run Forrest run!!!)
FW: Neil Campbell - I think we signed the wrong brother.....
FW: Tony Richards - statski aka the Tornado informed me we'd "agreed a fee" for this lump...."agreed a fee?

!!!" I said, "how much are they paying us then??" - my first impressions of that signing proved to be correct.

Subs:

Mark Prudhoe - his comedy performances on successive Saturdays vs. Rotherham and Barnet were enough to ensure he'd never play for the club again!
Daniel Webb - great at diving, but not much else...
David Whyte - I take full responsibility for wrecking this lad's career (along with Chipmunk of course!).
Barrington Belgrave - should've stuck to his day job with S-Club 7......
Neville Roach - replacement for the departed Rapley....some replacement eh??

 

[Javea Shrimper]

Just how many crap strikers have we had in this time?!

Abiodun
Belgrave
Bramble
Campbell
Foley
Harris (J)
Holness
Jones (G)
Richards
Roach
Salter
Webb (D)

WS

 

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (Javea Shrimper @ Feb. 23 2005,07:34)]Just how many crap strikers have we had in this time?!

Abiodun
Belgrave
Bramble
Campbell
Foley
Harris (J)
Holness
Jones (G)
Richards
Roach
Salter
Webb (D)

WS

I take exception to the inclusion of Bramble and Belgrave in this list. Both of them have talent which is, alas, only unleashed in snippets. The rest of your list had nothing to offer whatsoever, apart from the humour factor of Webb's return performances at the Hall since he left us.

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] (Javea Shrimper @ Feb. 23 2005,07:34)]Just how many crap strikers have we had in this time?!

Abiodun
Belgrave
Bramble
Campbell
Foley
Harris (J)
Holness
Jones (G)
Richards
Roach
Salter
Webb (D)

WS

Surely you mean Broughton instead of Bramble?

Also Dean "Dream Team" Holness was a winger not a striker.

 

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (royceisagod @ Feb. 22 2005,15:28)]i always thought Johnson and McSweeney were quite good. anyways

                                       prodhoe

             jupp            whelan         dublin       stuart

             connelly       maher          hutchings  clark

                               conlon         richards
subs
Emberson
dublin
corbett
whyte
thurgood

Have you actually been to any games over the last 10 years or have you just jumped on the bandwagon ?

Overlooking the obvious flaw in your selection

.

Hutchings and Jupp ? Hmmmmmmmmmm. Hutchings was a talented, but injury prone, creative player who had a few faults but I've seen much, much worse than him. Jupp had a form crisis earlier this season but he has another dimension to offer us when he is on song.

You are obviously not a complete donkey. Your inclusion of Whelan is a wise one. A strange combination of one of the best headers of a ball together with the worst ball control, distribution and positional sense ever to grace centre half. Did two great things in his SUFC career: a) shoot for the car b) retire.

 

[royceisagod]

JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON MY ARSE

 

[ingmatt]

GK: Carl Emberson
RB: Duncan Jupp
CB: Phil Whelan
CB: Ronnie Henry
LB: Jamie Stuart
RM: Michael Husbands
CM: Stuart Thurgood
CM: Rio Alderton
LM: Steven Clark
ST: Dominic Foley
ST: Tony Richards

Manager: Steve Wignall

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] (* ORM * @ Feb. 23 2005,10:21)]

Quote[/b] (royceisagod @ Feb. 22 2005,15:28)]i always thought Johnson and McSweeney were quite good. anyways

                                       prodhoe

             jupp            whelan         dublin       stuart

             connelly       maher          hutchings  clark

                               conlon         richards
subs
Emberson
dublin
corbett
whyte
thurgood

Overlooking the obvious flaw in your selection

.

ORM, I presume the obvious flaw you refering to is that Keith Dublin is named twice?

Personally I believe he was bad enough to be named twice in a worse ever XI (plus subs).