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  1. Yorkshire Blue

    Mispronounced player names

    obviously there's Anton Outl... Anton Otul.. Otlu.. er... Anton back in the 80s. What other Southend players regularly or amusingly had their names butchered? I remember us playing away in some Northern hell-hole (excuse the tautology) and Phil Gridelet's name being read out with a flourish as...
  2. Suffolk Shrimper In Dorset

    Question Pre-Season Friendlies - What Would You Like?

    No doubt we'll be served up the same old stuff again - away at Great Wakering, possibly a trip in to deepest Canvey, a home game v the 'big boys' of Ip shi te ...... or possibly an exotic trip to see us play in Spain v Barcelona Under 10's. admittedly home to Newcastle last year was a little...
  3. Rusty Shackleford

    The Clock Ticks On

    From Mark Steyn: The world divides into those who sincerely believe in that "Coexist" sticker and those who think it's a delusional evasion. After all, if it weren't for that big Muslim crescent "C" at the front, you wouldn't need a bumper sticker at all: That peace-symbol "O"? It's Muslims...
  4. Rattus Norvegicus

    Summer Time Musings

    Not a lot happening at the moment. Just as expected really given that so many players, agents, managers, chief executives, chairmen, public relations officers etcetera are having a break. I look back with fondness on the time when the Southend United website featured a tractor on the pitch for...
  5. SupaBlues


    Hi fellow zoners. My partner is getting laid off the end of next month and when she gets her money we are thinking of booking an exotic holiday. I have been looking at Goa and from what I've seen it seems to tick all the boxes of what we are looking for. Has anybody been and if so would you...
  6. Smiffy

    Pre-Season Tour?

    Very early obviously. But I was wondering what people's thought's were on pre-season tours... Putting the clubs financial worries aside for a moment... Would you like to see us go on a tour abroad/UK for a change? Where would you like to see us tour? (Sensible responses please!, Not...
  7. Smiffy

    Exotic Honeymoon locations - Child friendly?...

    So this time next year I'll be a married man (Sorry ladies) I am now turning my attentions to Honeymoon destinations. We are both quite set on the Caribbean (St Lucia/Dom Rep/Barbados/Turks & Caicos etc) or Indian Ocean (Seychelles/Mauritius/Sri Lanka etc) as neither of us have been there and...

    It made me giggle anyway ...

    A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by...
  9. Slipperduke

    EPL Half-Term Reports Pt1

    As the halfway point of the Premier League season approaches, we sent Iain Macintosh to compile reports cards for all the movers and the shakers. Who's the most improved student? Who deserves a merit award? Who's so bad that they're in danger of being moved to remedial class? Find out here...
  10. Winkle

    Ann Summers?

    I was driving to work this morning and started thinking about, "If I was to open a mens only shop for female shoppers what would I call it? Not that I frequent "Ann summers" on a regular basis, just the odd birthday and christmas present for the beloved, (Incidently only buying what I see as...
  11. Bielzibubz

    One classic car of your choice what would it be?

    Yes it's still slow at work :p Anyway, title say's it all. Back when i was 17 and just prior to passing my test my next door neighbour offered to sell me his mk1 Spitfire for £1200. it was absolutely stunning, British racing green, glass t top roof, half leather seats. really wish I'd had...
  12. March 31st+The Abolition Of The Slave Trade

    Greetings to all at Southend. You may or may not know that you will be meeting us, and us been Hull City, in the middle of our city's 'Bicentenary Of The Abolition Of The Slave Trade Act', celebrations. In which, as I'm sure, due to much recent publicity, you will already be aware that, x Hull...
  13. Exotic names

    In my football times I have found these exotic names, all genuine players. Jean Pierre Fan Fan Massimo Maccarone Hippolyte Dangbeto Titus Bramble I'm sure you can add some more - real players only, ta!
  14. Spaceman Spiff

    Politically incorrect jokes

    The Ages Of Women 1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. 4...