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OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
47,818
Location
Benfleet
Revelling In It


This week starring:

Matt ‘The Rat Controller’ Heath
John ‘Boy band’ White
Jean-Yves ‘Informer’ M’Voto
Lee ‘Glass statue’ Barnard
Adam ‘Voldermore’ Barrett
Simon ‘Swampy’ Francis
Alan ‘I think Shearer’s is boring’ McCormack
Kevin ‘Jodie loves Chachi’ Betsy

It’s hard to sum up the start of the season for us so far; in as much as whilst on paper we haven’t won in the League, we are still unbeaten and if we’d taken only a few more chances in the three games we could easily be sitting happy at the top of the table.

This again can be summed up perfectly by looking at the first game of the season against Huddersfield. They are well documented as being promotion hopefuls and have spent a lot of money to justify this tag, but down at Roots Hall we should have taken the game from being 2-0 up and whilst they looked dangerous at times we certainly matched them in every area. But for a poor five minutes we’d have been home and dry with three points under our belt. Fast forward a little over a week and they’ve followed up their draw here with a 3-1 and 7-1 wins and now look every bit the title contenders.

Then at Walsall we again should have taken the game with enough chances created (mainly by ourselves with the helping hand of a certain opposition goalkeeper) but got punished late in the game by a single error resulting in a penalty for them.

Wycombe again followed suit last night and I thought that despite the result we totally dominated the match, created enough chances to win the game comfortably. We made a decent team look pretty average in my opinion.

But on paper we are still unbeaten, and in football these things can happen. I am in no doubt however, that they’ll even themselves out over the season as we earn points elsewhere when we won’t have played well enough to deserve them.

One of the funniest moments of the season so far was the chant our supporters gave in protest of the official Walsall Man-Of-The-Match last Saturday, substituted with their own opinion of who deserved the accolade (their goalkeeper who threw the ball to Barney for our equaliser)! We all notice these things, and we also know that as a Club in this division the number of support we take to away games is one of the best, and I hope that throughout the season we’ll give you enough to justify spending every Saturday joining us up and down the country.

Having away games has led to two rituals reigniting, both of which have had hilarious consequences.

Firstly, the initiation sing-song had three performances on the away trip to Cheltenham last week as Matt Heath, John White and Jean-Yves M’Voto took to the stage.

Matt Heath chose an easy song to sing, although the execution left a lot to be desired as he turned Robbie Williams’ ‘Angels’ into ‘Demons’, and had everyone covering their ears. Not only that, if you looked out of the bus window you could see herds of cattle in neighbouring fields trying to flee from the high pitched noise, as Matt used his own technique to turn into the Pied Piper and rid the whole of the A127 and M25 of rodents!

Second up was John White who sang Neo’s ‘Let me love you’, as covered in the most aggressive fashion ever by Lee Sawyer this time last year. It is safe to say that John’s version was better but when he encouraged everyone to get their lighters out and join him I thought he was a bit overconfident, and he got booed off as a result.

Finally, and easily the funniest was Jean-Yves M’Voto who sang what can only be described as the worst attempt of the Anfield rap (we think it was this but it was so bad no one actually knew what he was singing) in a French accent I’ve ever heard, and it came out as a medley of John Barnes’ rapping, Scatman John and Snow all merged into one, it was certainly no Eminem!

The other great thing about road trips was the resurrection of the battle between the Cabrones (me and Macca) and the Cholos (Adam Barrett and Simon Francis) on Grand Theft Auto on the PSP. After the loss of Dan ‘No Name’ Harding the Cholo’s have been busy selecting a replacement with Adam ‘What’s a PSP?’ Barrett coming into the frame. I won’t lie to you, we didn’t get to play much the first time we did it as half the time was spend training Adam how to start the game, as at first he wondered why he couldn’t get Bluetooth connection on his Nintendo Game Boy, and secondly he didn’t understand how the ‘magic machine’ could work if it wasn’t plugged into a mains connection.

Unfortunately Alan ‘Cartwheel’ Macca was too busy celebrating his goal celebrations because ever since he has claimed to be a goalscoring midfielder he knows the jobs only half finished by actually scoring, so the Cabrones loaned in Lee ‘Porcelain’ Barnard for the afternoon, and gave the Cholo’s one heck of a beating, although Captain Barrett redeemed himself in round two by challenging us all to a game of Tetris on his GameBoy!

I was watching Matrix 3 the other night and saw Kevin ‘The Oracle’ Betsy’s acting was still at the highest standard, although some of his shouts, especially on fashion, have been a bit off the mark recently.

The other thing with Kevin is that he is the most popular man in football, and literally knows a player at every Club we play – we call him the Football League Fonzy which is confirmed by his insistent wearing of bell bottoms and leather jackets (despite him predicting they’d make a comeback this summer still!) on all occasions and his welcome greeting of ‘aaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy’ to everyone he sees. With Wycombe being one of his former Clubs he produced the ‘aaayy’ more time than Winkler himself and if Adams Park had a jukebox, he surely would have smacked it!

Finally, here’s the Dish of the Week from the Stratford-Upon-Avon branch (Shakespeare’s county) of the Revell Cooking Club:

‘Chicken Caesar Salad’ – Nothing too heavy for a mid-summers night (dream ha ha!)

Take care everyone and hope to see you all on Friday here at Roots Hall.

Up the Blues!


Revs

Simply brilliant:clap:
 
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