SUFC_Al
Metal Monday Dude
Good god what a slow morning, some of these made me laugh.
"I've got all the passion, but no idea of tactics. I'd be like a black Kevin Keegan" - Ian Wright, when asked if he'd be interested in the England job.
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." - Bob Davies
"This man - what's his name? The number 10, the small one who doesn't play in the Real Madrid first team... I have a history in football but what is the history of this guy, this midget?" - Carlos Alberto, Azerbaijan boss, about England's Michael Owen
"In my first youth team game, we were playing Leeds United and we were losing 3-0. He had a go at everyone and then he said to me: 'And as for you, you kangaroo, you can fck off right now. You're the worst player I've seen in my life.' " - Craig Johnston recalling a post-mortem held by Jack Charlton.
"I can't teach lame ducks to fly any more." - United States coach Bob Gansler announces his resignation
"You might as well talk to my baby daughter. You'll get more sense out of her" - Kenny Dalglish to a reporter preparing to interview Alex Ferguson
"Kenny Dalglish has associates but only a few friends. There's nothing wrong with that, as you only need six people to carry your coffin." - Fergie hits back
"I was told I wouldn't be as good as Brian Clough and most of the time it was Dad telling me that." - Nigel Clough, about to follow his dad into management
"If you aren't the chairman of Manchester United, Real Madrid or AC Milan, I'll get back to you later." - Joe Kinnear's answer phone message when manager at Wimbledon
"That's great. Tell him he's Pele and get him back on." - John Lambie, Partick Thistle Manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
"Look at that..there's no one at the back post. [more agitated] There's nobody on the back post. [screams at players...but its too late] There's nobody on the ****ing back post. [GOAL]. [resigned] I ****ing told them." - Barry Fry watches in anguish as his defence fail to guard the backpost on a corner
"It sounds blase but there is a certain amount of luck. We'd all like to take a certain amount of credit for Kevin Doyle... But I can't really remember what it was I particularly liked about Kevin when I watched him in Ireland. I had five pints of Guinness in the afternoon and it was all a bit blurred." - Steve Coppell, on discovering bargain buy Kevin Doyle in the League of Ireland, "The Guardian"
I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones." - Chris Turner, Peterborough Manager, before a Littlewoods' Cup Match
"Nine months of misery." - Steve Coppell, manager of newly-promoted Crystal Palace, on his expectations for season 97
"I tape over most of them with Corrie or Neighbours. Most of them are crap. They can f***ing make anyone look good. I signed Marco Boogers off a video. He was a good player but a nutter. They didn't show that on the video." - Harry Redknapp on what he does with the videos he is sent promoting players
"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players to balance things up and give the team some brains and common sense." - Crystal Palace Chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991
"If we have to go to hell, we will go without foreigners." - Jose Maria Arrate, defending Athletic Bilbao's non-foreigner policy
"I met with the manager on Tuesday night specifically to sack him. We had a lengthy meeting to discuss compensation. The amount agreed, it transpired, could not be funded by the board. So basically we could not afford to sack him. I have now given the manager my full support." - David Taylor, chairman of Huddersfield, backing manager Mick Wadsworth
"It wasn't a monkey on my back, it was Planet of the Apes." - Mick McCarthy, after his Sunderland team finally win a Premiership game
This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players.
- Javier Clemente, Spanish Coach, on Scotland's 1996 Under-21 side
"I've got all the passion, but no idea of tactics. I'd be like a black Kevin Keegan" - Ian Wright, when asked if he'd be interested in the England job.
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." - Bob Davies
"This man - what's his name? The number 10, the small one who doesn't play in the Real Madrid first team... I have a history in football but what is the history of this guy, this midget?" - Carlos Alberto, Azerbaijan boss, about England's Michael Owen
"In my first youth team game, we were playing Leeds United and we were losing 3-0. He had a go at everyone and then he said to me: 'And as for you, you kangaroo, you can fck off right now. You're the worst player I've seen in my life.' " - Craig Johnston recalling a post-mortem held by Jack Charlton.
"I can't teach lame ducks to fly any more." - United States coach Bob Gansler announces his resignation
"You might as well talk to my baby daughter. You'll get more sense out of her" - Kenny Dalglish to a reporter preparing to interview Alex Ferguson
"Kenny Dalglish has associates but only a few friends. There's nothing wrong with that, as you only need six people to carry your coffin." - Fergie hits back
"I was told I wouldn't be as good as Brian Clough and most of the time it was Dad telling me that." - Nigel Clough, about to follow his dad into management
"If you aren't the chairman of Manchester United, Real Madrid or AC Milan, I'll get back to you later." - Joe Kinnear's answer phone message when manager at Wimbledon
"That's great. Tell him he's Pele and get him back on." - John Lambie, Partick Thistle Manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
"Look at that..there's no one at the back post. [more agitated] There's nobody on the back post. [screams at players...but its too late] There's nobody on the ****ing back post. [GOAL]. [resigned] I ****ing told them." - Barry Fry watches in anguish as his defence fail to guard the backpost on a corner
"It sounds blase but there is a certain amount of luck. We'd all like to take a certain amount of credit for Kevin Doyle... But I can't really remember what it was I particularly liked about Kevin when I watched him in Ireland. I had five pints of Guinness in the afternoon and it was all a bit blurred." - Steve Coppell, on discovering bargain buy Kevin Doyle in the League of Ireland, "The Guardian"
I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones." - Chris Turner, Peterborough Manager, before a Littlewoods' Cup Match
"Nine months of misery." - Steve Coppell, manager of newly-promoted Crystal Palace, on his expectations for season 97
"I tape over most of them with Corrie or Neighbours. Most of them are crap. They can f***ing make anyone look good. I signed Marco Boogers off a video. He was a good player but a nutter. They didn't show that on the video." - Harry Redknapp on what he does with the videos he is sent promoting players
"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players to balance things up and give the team some brains and common sense." - Crystal Palace Chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991
"If we have to go to hell, we will go without foreigners." - Jose Maria Arrate, defending Athletic Bilbao's non-foreigner policy
"I met with the manager on Tuesday night specifically to sack him. We had a lengthy meeting to discuss compensation. The amount agreed, it transpired, could not be funded by the board. So basically we could not afford to sack him. I have now given the manager my full support." - David Taylor, chairman of Huddersfield, backing manager Mick Wadsworth
"It wasn't a monkey on my back, it was Planet of the Apes." - Mick McCarthy, after his Sunderland team finally win a Premiership game
This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players.
- Javier Clemente, Spanish Coach, on Scotland's 1996 Under-21 side
