DTS
The Business
Watched some programme about some stalker who shot his ex-bird of three weeks in Harvey Nicks last night and it got me thniking about my own worst stalker.
When I was 18 I worked for a company called Unijet who were tour operators who have seen been brought out by First Choice. Like most first jobs working in travel was not really for me but it was fantastic as you could plow on into most birds there and most of the blokes were gay so you had a ratio of about 10-1 in your favour at any sort of party.
I had been there about a year and having been through most of the decent birds my own age I moved onto the older lot (I was 18 and moved onto birds of 24/25 etc)
Anyway I was getting on really well with the bird called Natalie who I still see now and again to this day. She was nearly 30 odd and just seperated from her fella. God she was a teenage boys dream.
She worked next to a ok looking blonde called Bridgit who was worth a go but only ever second to this Natalie bird.
As the weeks rolled on i was flirting the best you can when you are 18 odd with this Natalie bird and all going well. She told one of my mates I was cutre but too young....I knew this was never going to stop me so I kept working.
The work office was about 200 odd people and there was a split between the young uns who used to go out and the 25+ who all went out. Anyway one night Natalie invited me to a party with the 25+ in a club. I was in.
Remember getting home and knicking some of Dad of DtS aftershave (Must have been desperate) and telling my old man I was not coming home tocuh wood. No worries son....Savvy - I am ready to go.
Got to the club and had to fight like **** to get in from the nobhead bouncers. Finally cracked it and I was in. Lot of the blokes there were good lads but they had all been drinking 10 years+ at work and I had done about three months so was woefully out my depth. Still kept drinking.
Next thing I know Natalie aint coming as she has been ill all day. I am gutted as turned down a night out with my real mates for a work night solely to get hold of her. Didnt know a lot of the older lot but Bridgit comes along and chats to me.
You guessed it ended up getting hold of her for a kiss once the dance floor and before you know it were swapping numbers.
Woke up the next day and thought oh god. hadnt even been woke up and hour when she calls me asking me for sunday lunch. Wife of Dad of DtS does a cracking roast so decided to swerve it.
All the next week i am getting emails from her saying when you going to take me out. I finally crack and agree to take her for a drink that Thursday. Jesus what am I doing? A min late get an email from Natalie saying hope all goes will with Bridgit. The grassing bitch least keep it quiet.
Ended up going for a drink. She plyed me with booze all night in a poncy bar in brighton. End of the night she was driving so she says she will give me a lift home....No I am ok thanks I say - I will get the train......."No you wont" she says....."Come back to mine"..........
Right need an excuse - Tell her Dad wants me home but that dont wash...Tell her I have the Blues next day "Dont worry I will have you home in time for football" she says....
Ok - I accepted my fate and got in the car...As we are bombing along the seafront she says "You can meet my cats - they cant wait to see you". Stroke of genius comes to me and I tell her I have astma and am allergic to cats. She finally lets me out the car miles from any station but I dont care.
Weeks follow and she tells everyone we did the business which was a lie and that were going out which was just a lie....Never even snogged her. She turned up at my house (Lucky for me Dad was away) jesus she was mad.
Finally got rid of her about six month later when some other school leaver pulled her and she stalked him but what a relief.
As a semi-happy ending I did end up for a night with Natalie a few years later but it was dreadful.
Your worst stalkers please....
When I was 18 I worked for a company called Unijet who were tour operators who have seen been brought out by First Choice. Like most first jobs working in travel was not really for me but it was fantastic as you could plow on into most birds there and most of the blokes were gay so you had a ratio of about 10-1 in your favour at any sort of party.
I had been there about a year and having been through most of the decent birds my own age I moved onto the older lot (I was 18 and moved onto birds of 24/25 etc)
Anyway I was getting on really well with the bird called Natalie who I still see now and again to this day. She was nearly 30 odd and just seperated from her fella. God she was a teenage boys dream.
She worked next to a ok looking blonde called Bridgit who was worth a go but only ever second to this Natalie bird.
As the weeks rolled on i was flirting the best you can when you are 18 odd with this Natalie bird and all going well. She told one of my mates I was cutre but too young....I knew this was never going to stop me so I kept working.
The work office was about 200 odd people and there was a split between the young uns who used to go out and the 25+ who all went out. Anyway one night Natalie invited me to a party with the 25+ in a club. I was in.
Remember getting home and knicking some of Dad of DtS aftershave (Must have been desperate) and telling my old man I was not coming home tocuh wood. No worries son....Savvy - I am ready to go.
Got to the club and had to fight like **** to get in from the nobhead bouncers. Finally cracked it and I was in. Lot of the blokes there were good lads but they had all been drinking 10 years+ at work and I had done about three months so was woefully out my depth. Still kept drinking.
Next thing I know Natalie aint coming as she has been ill all day. I am gutted as turned down a night out with my real mates for a work night solely to get hold of her. Didnt know a lot of the older lot but Bridgit comes along and chats to me.
You guessed it ended up getting hold of her for a kiss once the dance floor and before you know it were swapping numbers.
Woke up the next day and thought oh god. hadnt even been woke up and hour when she calls me asking me for sunday lunch. Wife of Dad of DtS does a cracking roast so decided to swerve it.
All the next week i am getting emails from her saying when you going to take me out. I finally crack and agree to take her for a drink that Thursday. Jesus what am I doing? A min late get an email from Natalie saying hope all goes will with Bridgit. The grassing bitch least keep it quiet.
Ended up going for a drink. She plyed me with booze all night in a poncy bar in brighton. End of the night she was driving so she says she will give me a lift home....No I am ok thanks I say - I will get the train......."No you wont" she says....."Come back to mine"..........
Right need an excuse - Tell her Dad wants me home but that dont wash...Tell her I have the Blues next day "Dont worry I will have you home in time for football" she says....
Ok - I accepted my fate and got in the car...As we are bombing along the seafront she says "You can meet my cats - they cant wait to see you". Stroke of genius comes to me and I tell her I have astma and am allergic to cats. She finally lets me out the car miles from any station but I dont care.
Weeks follow and she tells everyone we did the business which was a lie and that were going out which was just a lie....Never even snogged her. She turned up at my house (Lucky for me Dad was away) jesus she was mad.
Finally got rid of her about six month later when some other school leaver pulled her and she stalked him but what a relief.
As a semi-happy ending I did end up for a night with Natalie a few years later but it was dreadful.
Your worst stalkers please....
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