Slipperduke's Slippery Column

[Slipperduke]

The Gunners

Just occasionally, maybe once a year at most, there comes a football match so beautiful, so intense, so frantic and so scoop-your-jaw-up-off-the-floor exciting, that it's all you can do not to fall to the ground and openly weep in thanks that you were able to watch it. This was an epic struggle between two of the finest football teams on the planet and instead of the cagey, tight affair that some had feared, they served up a absolute masterpiece. Arsenal's title challenge lies in tatters, but their fans must take enormous pride from this performance. From the moment the first whistle blew, they flew at their opponents and they never stopped attacking, even towards the end when many of their players were on the brink of exhaustion.

The Gunners enjoyed the best of a scintillating first half, taking the game to their opponents with the swagger and verve that defined them at the start of this season, but they were let down by the abominable finishing of Emmanuel Adebayor. The Togolese striker couldn't stop scoring back in January, but his aim was so far off that, at half-time, I thought he could have stayed out on the pitch until next January and he still wouldn't have put the ball in the net. One of his early efforts almost cleared the floodlights and another gilt-edged opportunity went begging when he unleashed a shot so shy that, if it was ever invited to a party, would spend the evening in the corner eating cheese nibbles and trying to avoid eye contact. However, while he might have been incapable of scoring with his feet, he was pretty tidy with his left hand from a distance of 6 inches. Confusion between Rio Ferdinand, Edwin van der Sar and Michael Carrick, allowed the hapless striker to steal in and punch home a goal so contentious that it evened out the ill fortune that Arsenal have endured in the Champions League in an instant.

Moments later in this extraordinary match and an Arsenal player's hand was actually noticed, but this time it was William Gallas in his own penalty area. Ronaldo stepped up and duly scored, but was forced to take it again when the referee realised that there were four United players in the penalty area. Credit to the Player of the Year-elect, he held his nerve and scored again, though I'm fairly sure that you're not actually allowed to stop your run up completely.

Arsene Wenger, in no mood to allow Phillipe Senderos to donate another goal to his opponents, dropped the Swiss centre-back all the way out of the 16 man squad. In his place was the young Cameroonian midfielder, Alexander Song and United concentrated their energy on the gap of uncertainty between him and Kolo Toure. The defence looked so vulnerable at times that we were treated to the sight of an impromptu team meeting as Song, Toure, William Gallas and, intriguingly, Aleksandr Hleb, gathered to discuss tactics. Another change to the standard Wenger line-up came in the form of grumpy German goalkeeper Jens Lehmann, recalled to the side after an injury to Manuel Almunia. Lehmann has released some fairly bullish and arrogant stories to the German media recently, but fine reaction saves from Wayne Rooney in either half showed that he's still got something to back his attitude up. It makes you wonder whether Arsenal would have collapsed so dramatically had he been in the team.

United, six points clear with four games to go, are on the brink of their tenth title in fifteen years, and they will be worthy champions. Arsenal are lauded for their glorious football, but United are just as bewitching and yet they combine the flair with composure and mental strength. Sir Alex Ferguson has now created four truly great epochs in his 21 years at Old Trafford and this latest pantheon of stars compares to any in the club's history. What a wonderful team, what a magnificent game.

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE 5/5

 

[Irish_Shrimper]

Top read as always Slip.

Have been at work, so only got to keep up with this match on the Eurosport minute by minute thingy - but it sounded like a real action packed match. I thought after the Liverpool defeat, Arsenal would arrive at Old Trafford in a demoralised state, but it is a testament to their courage and togetherness that they went to Manchester striving to put the past week or two behind them, and go for the win to keep the title race alive.

I think a new Goalie to give Almunia some competition (Not Lehmann!!), and perhaps another central midfielder may be enough for them next season to challenge in a stronger manner. A fit Rosicky next term should also be a major bonus...Senderos will remain - so any talk of a new defender are unjust IMO.

For the first time in ages - the title race has been very exciting!

 

[Slipperduke]

Arsene Wenger will have just one question on his mind

As he surveys the wreckage of a promising season that has gone horribly, horribly wrong, Arsene Wenger will have just one question on his mind. What changes need to be made this summer to avoid ever having to go through that again?

The first thing everyone connected with the club needs to do is to gain some perspective. It's difficult to put a positive spin on the past seven days, but they have to remember that, at the beginning of the season, everyone predicted a fourth place finish. Apart from the people who said that Spurs would come fourth and Arsenal would come fifth. I like those kind of people, the world needs them. Arsenal, for the most part of this season, played gorgeous football, scored piles of goals, captured the hearts of cynical neutrals like myself and put themselves in contention for honours, both domestically and abroad.

However, the areas in which they must strengthen were mercilessly thrust into the spotlight for all to see this weekend. Whatever colours you wore as you watched that game, with the score at 1-0, did you think United could come back? Of course you did, it's what they do. What about when they led 2-1, did you think Arsenal could equalise? Ah...it's all gone quiet. Even when Nicklas Bendtner rose to win a late, short-range header, no-one really thought it would go in, did they? Arsenal haven't got the mental strength or the belief to succeed. Not yet. From Emmanuel Adebayor's loathsome finishing to Emmanuel Eboue's pointless and self-destructive gamesmanship, Arsenal are lacking the right attitude. Manchester United are just as beautiful as the Gunners, but they're nasty with it. They're winners.

Jens Lehmann is a winner, but he has barely played this season, something I've found very strange. Wenger was right to drop him after his appalling start to the season, but when he came back to replace the injured Manuel Almunia in February, why wasn't he allowed to stay? Lehmann was in goal for the 3-1 victory over Manchester City and the 2-0 win over Blackburn Rovers. Then he was dropped and Arsenal didn't win for six weeks. He's feisty to the point of being sociopathic, but he's a fine goalkeeper and he can keep his defenders organised. I'd rather have him behind me than Almunia, who is a decent enough stopper, but a little too quiet.

Wenger needs some experience in the side to marshal the youngsters, but he also needs some added quality and, oddly enough, he's already got it. As the season wore on, there was no adequate cover for Cesc Fabregas and the young Spaniard has really suffered from over-exposure. Fran Merida is thought to be 'the next big thing' at The Emirates, but he was signed to a season-long loan deal with Real Sociedad. Carlos Vela would, from what I've heard, have made a perfect replacement for Eduardo, but he's been out at Osasuna. Either Wenger has bumbled by allowing them to leave without inserting a recall clause, or he's bumbled by not bringing them back. Neither Adebayor or Bendtner has ended the season well. Just having one more striker to call upon could have made a difference, especially with Robin van Persie's luck with knocks.

Wenger is right to bemoan ill-fortune and injuries, but he can't blame them. Chelsea have been crippled with injuries all year and are currently chasing the title with a third-choice goalkeeper. They're not pretty, but they've certainly got the mentality that Arsenal need. The scattered voices calling for Wenger's head belong to people who really aren't clever enough to be watching this sport. There's no need for sweeping changes, no point in a clear-out of personnel, this club just needs to strengthen in the right places. They simply need to believe in themselves.

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

I believe Arsenal's main problem is that they think they deserve extra points for playing pretty football. I am tired to the point of nausea at reading how Arsenal 'played them off the park' and 'created a hatful of chances' when they have been beaten or held by a less aesthetically pleasing outfit. The game is football. Objective: Put the ball in the opponent's net more often than they put it in yours. I am constantly arguing with my friends in the Netherlands (crayzhee guyshhhh) when they bemoan the superiority of PSV over our beloved Ajax, despite (or perhaps because of) their more pragmatic football. Teams look prettiest holding big silver cups. End of.

 

[shrimp to 11]

What about when they led 2-1, did you think Arsenal could equalise? Ah...it's all gone quiet.

what,like when they came back from 2-1 down against liverpool only a few days ago?!-admittedly they screwed it up shortly afterwards, but they did equalise in a big match to nearly win a tie they deserved to win.

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

nearly win a tie they deserved to win.

See my post above.

 

[shrimp to 11]

I believe Arsenal's main problem is that they think they deserve extra points for playing pretty football. I am tired to the point of nausea at reading how Arsenal 'played them off the park' and 'created a hatful of chances' when they have been beaten or held by a less aesthetically pleasing outfit. The game is football. Objective: Put the ball in the opponent's net more often than they put it in yours. I am constantly arguing with my friends in the Netherlands (crayzhee guyshhhh) when they bemoan the superiority of PSV over our beloved Ajax, despite (or perhaps because of) their more pragmatic football. Teams look prettiest holding big silver cups. End of.

i think the term 'pretty football' is used in a derogatory way re arsenal , when you could say excellent football,total football, blinding etc. But, 'pretty'?, you might as well call them wussy and be done with it. Man yoo will win the title cos they are the wealthiest and spend the most money.simple, chelsea a close 2nd. Dont think that wenger thinks they deserve extra points for their style of play, that's just daft BAG.

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

i think the term 'pretty football' is used in a derogatory way re arsenal , when you could say excellent football,total football, blinding etc. But, 'pretty'?, you might as well call them wussy and be done with it. Man yoo will win the title cos they are the wealthiest and spend the most money.simple, chelsea a close 2nd. Dont think that wenger thinks they deserve extra points for their style of play, that's just daft BAG.

Manchester United will win the title because they play pretty football but with a killer instinct. Nobody is prettier than Ronaldo (ooh the dust in 'ere), but he is also the League's top scorer. Chelsea play pretty football until they are one nil up, then park the bus. I love to see free flowing expansive play, but more than that, I love to see my team win. I might be wrong, but I think most fans would agree.

 

[shrimp to 11]

Of course. And Arsenal DO win!more than most in fact. 3rd in the league, qf's champs league. So they are winners- cliché,but theres only a certain number of trophies there to win. Theyve come close to possibly winning 2 of them.Btw im not an arsenal fan!

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

There's only one time when it's good to come third, and it usually costs money.

 

[shrimp to 11]

Oh yeah, south korea '02. Forgot about that one.;)

 

[Slipperduke]

Chelsea v Wigan

Steve Bruce grinned like a naughty schoolboy as he sat down in front of the assembled press and he clasped a hand to his chest.

"My phone's buzzing away, gentlemen. I wouldn't mind, but he's only texted me four times in the last four months. Twice on the day of the Arsenal game, twice today!"

There were no prizes being given out for guessing the identity of Bruce's SMS associate. Wherever he was, and I like to imagine that it was in the top room of a gothic castle in the middle of a thunderstorm, Sir Alex Ferguson must have been delighted. One by one, his title rivals are imploding.

Nobody could have foreseen a disaster like this. Wigan worked hard and ran the lines diligently, but it seemed that they were some way short of the quality required to open up a team like Chelsea. Their more talented players like Wilson Palacios and Antonio Valencia were nullified, their defenders were struggling to cope with Chelsea's movement and only an exceptional performance from Chris Kirkland had kept the scoreline down. When Antoine Sibierski blasted a late shot at Petr Cech, the home fans breathed a sigh of relief and then started to file out of the stadium, convinced that the job was done.

Wigan had only brought a handful of supporters to Stamford Bridge. They'd sat in the cold all night, politely applauding their players and absorbing the taunts from nearby Chelsea fans. "Who are you?" laughed the Blues. In injury time, they found out. Wigan are a team who don't give up and how those scattered supporters enjoyed their moment. Emile Heskey slid onto Jason Koumas' cross and angled the ball home, prompting scenes of jubilation on Bruce's bench and stunning the emptying stadium into silence. It was a surreal moment, watching thousands of shocked faces trying to comprehend what they'd just seen and then trying to find someone to blame. They settled for their usual target and as the time ran out on Chelsea's title challenge, Avram Grant heard his theme song once again. "You don't know what you're doing,' didn't ring around the stadium like it did against Arsenal. It was spat at him in anger. There was no tune, just hatred. Bubbling, frothing hatred pouring down from the stands.

Grant's initial team selection had caused concern when it was announced, but perhaps unfairly. Chelsea were scheduled to play Wigan last Saturday and Everton next Saturday, but the TV companies have forced the games onto Monday and Thursday, a decision that even Bruce insisted was, "ridiculous." With one eye on Goodison Park, Grant left out Joe Cole. Didier Drogba was missing with a knock and Frank Lampard was said to have 'personal matters' to deal with, but no-one in Stamford Bridge seemed to care about the other absentees. They just wanted to see Cole and from the first misplaced pass of the evening, they howled at Grant for his arrival.

After a first half that was good for nothing except curing insomnia, Grant bowed to the crowd, introduced Cole and the game was turned on its head. The little playmaker was a blur of flashing feet and dropping shoulders. He dived in at tackles and then gesticulated at his team-mates to show the same ferocity. The crowd loved it. In reality, the crowd should show a little gratitude to Grant, who liberated him from the left flank earlier this season. Cole is versatile enough to do a job out there, but he belongs on the right and the reason we're seeing him fulfil his enormous potential is because of Grant's decision to play him in the correct position. Unfortunately for the soon-to-be ex-Chelsea boss, no-one cared about that after Heskey scored.

"We have to beat Everton," accepted a sombre, funereal Grant at the press conference. "If not, it will be very hard."

It will be more than 'very hard'. Anything less than a victory at Goodison Park and Manchester United will be able to win the title at Stamford Bridge on April 26. If Grant thinks the abuse from the stands is bad now, he'd better bring his ear-plugs for that one.

 

[Slipperduke]

Turkey striker, Nihat.

While England’s footballers sulk in their sun-loungers, the rest of the continent will be contesting the 2008 European Championships. Iain Macintosh, who still won’t allow the word ‘McClaren’ to be uttered in his home, runs the rule over some of the potential stars of the summer. This week, it’s the turn of Villarreal and Turkey striker, Nihat.

It's not often that Villarreal come into a game as anything other than the underdogs, despite their fine performances over the last five years. The wonderfully named Yellow Submarines play in a small 23,000 stadium in a town that is home to barely double that amount. However, when they went to visit little Almeria, they were the big guns, chasing a La Liga title and their opponents were the yapping pretenders, snapping at their heels. The home side's tenacity, while obviously brilliant for them, was disastrous for this feature and it's subject, the pacy striker Nihat.

After a full-blooded opening to their clash, with half-chances for either side, Villarreal received a heavy blow when their goalkeeper, Diego Lopez, was sent off for bringing down Albert Crusat after miscontrolling a reckless backpass. Almeria missed the subsequent penalty, but were forced to withdraw Nihat's strike partner, the former Manchester United player, Guiseppe Rossi, in order to field their reserve goalkeeper. This meant that Nihat was isolated and forced to endure a difficult evening.

Nihat began his career at Bestikas under the tutelage of the current Wales manager John Toshack. A slow developer, he scored just 27 goals in over four years in his home country, but showed enough signs of potential while there to encourage Toshack to take him to Real Sociedad. Nihat excelled in La Liga and, in 2002/03, he was the second highest goalscorer, tied with Ronaldo. He stayed until 2006, when he left for the Yellow Submarines. Sociedad were relegated the season afterwards.

The first thing you notice about Nihat is his exceptional movement. Even when he had the luxury of Rossi as a strike partner, he darted about the pitch, coming deep to help with the midfielders and surging forward to try and attack. He's quick and, at 5ft9, he's very diffiuclt to knock off the ball. Like Michael Owen, he likes to hang around on the shoulder of his man-marker, waiting for a throughball and trusting in his superior speed. He had one opprtunity in the first ten minutes, but was harshly adjudged to be offside. He wasn't.

When Lopez's dismissal effectively ended Villarreal's chance of dominating the game, it didn't quash the Turkish striker's desire. He continued to pound the turf in search of the ball and it was encouraging to see him chasing down the goalkeeper on every back-pass. It would have been nice to see him with the ball more often, but Almeria were so aggressive that they practically camped themselves in Villarreal's half. New to La Liga, they've already stunned a few of the bigger teams and Santiago Acasiete's late winner was no less than they deserved.

Nihat went away empty-handed, withdrawn with seven minutes left, but there was no doubting his commitment to the cause. Turkey have been fortunate enough to find themselves in one of the easier groups at Euro 2008. Portugal struggle for consistency, Czech Republic are ageing fast and missing key players and Switzerland are so dreadful that even their own fans can't predict anything other than humilation. With Sanli Tuncay, Yildaray Basturk and Halil Altintop to accompany Nihat on the front-line, is it beyond the realms of possibility to see Turkey as a potential dark horse this summer? If they all work as hard as Nihat, you can't rule it out.

STAR PLAYER - Nihat (Turkey)
Speed - 8
Skill - 6
Determination - 9
Total - 23

 

[Slipperduke]

Celtic v Rangers

I'm told by my Scottish friends that when it comes to excitement, you'll have to go a long way to beat an Old Firm derby between Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic. I've always been a little dubious of that claim. After all, I've been to Tottenham against Arsenal. Could it really be anymore exciting than that? Erm...yes. It turns out it can be. Celtic went into this game desperately needing victory to stay in the title race. They did it, but they had to wait until the third minute of injury time in a game that had everything. And I mean everything.

Gordon Strachan, formerly of Coventry and Southampton, is in charge of Celtic, but if the homes fans had their way, he might not be. There's a strange, intangible feeling from the stands that Strachan doesn't quite understand what it means to manage such a huge club and, in spite of some tremendous performances in Europe, they let him have it with both barrels whenever things go against them. With four defeats from four encounters with Walter Smith's Rangers, they've not had a lot to celebrate recently.

You would never have guessed it from the way that they dominated the first half. Roared on by an incandescent home crowd, the green and white hoops were superior in every department during a ferocious exchange. The first fight came just 45 seconds into the game, but it wasn't the last by any means. Every tackle seemed designed not to win the ball, but to maim. It was extraordinary viewing.

Shunsuke Nakamura broke the deadlock with a goal as good as you will see anywhere else in the world. Opening fire from 30 yards out, the Japanese midfielder managed to send in a shot that headed for the top right corner of the goal, before changing its mind and veering off towards the left.

Smith reacted at half-time by sending on the explosive frontman Nacho Novo and it paid dividends after just ten minutes. The Spaniard crashed the equaliser home from just inside the box, sparking scenes of jubilation on the Rangers bench. Substitute Gary Naysmith celebrated by running onto the pitch and thus became the first unused substitute that I've ever seen booked. This was rapidly becoming less of a football match and more a trivia question for future generations. The madness continued when Carlos Cuella made a superb save, palming Nakumura's goalbound shot over the crossbar. The only problem was that Cuella plays at centre-back and referees take a very dim view of these sort of things.

Cuella was dismissed, but Celtic striker Scott McDonald managed to miss the penalty, sending the ball too close to Rangers' actual goalkeeper Allan McGregor. McGregor, and I do hope you're keeping up with this because there'll be a test later, had injured his ankle earlier in the game and this final bit of heroism worsened his condition. The Rangers medical team ran on to patch him up, but came under attack from a coin-thrower in the stands. The doctors performed magnificently under fire, but not before the affluent sniper found his range and clipped one of them painfully on the back of the hand. McGregor tried to continue but had to withdraw with 13 minutes to go.

It seemed that Rangers had slapped one sweaty hand on the SPL title, but then disaster struck. Steven Caldwell lobbed a pass to McDonald, who made amends for his spot-kick aberration by nodding it on to the wonderfully-named Jan Vennegor of Hessilink. The giant Dutchman launched himself at it and, from a range of about three yards bundled it into the net to trigger a noise at Celtic Park that blew one of the speakers in my television.

The Scottish, as you might expect, still had time for one more fight and they saved it until after the final whistle, throwing off the safety catches and charging at each other, fists flying, in a extraordinary melee. I've discovered this week that I've covered over 100 football matches for The New Paper this season, but I can say with some confidence that I've not yet seen one quite like this. The SPL title race is still on, Strachan will keep his job, tens of thousands of Scotsmen will go into work hungover this morning and I've never been prouder of my heritage. My Scottish friends were right, this was brilliant fun.

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE 6/5

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

If you want excitement Sporting were 2-0 down to Benfica at half-time in their semi-final tonight but went on to win 5-3.

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Great report on the Old-Firm there Slip,
If it's not too late, a small typo in there, Carlos Cuellar has a 'r' at the end of his name!

 

[Slipperduke]

Great report on the Old-Firm there Slip,
If it's not too late, a small typo in there, Carlos Cuellar has a 'r' at the end of his name!

Ooops!

*braces himself for complaints for legions of Scottish ex-pats*

Glad you liked it, I was a bit out of my depth there. I haven't watched Scottish football since 1994!

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

I've been to an Old Firm game, and the atmosphere is a mixture of incredible excitement and sheer terror. The only comparable experiences for me were Ajax/Feyenoord and Southend/Millwall when we won 4-1 (mainly the terror element).

 

[Slipperduke]

I've been to an Old Firm game, and the atmosphere is a mixture of incredible excitement and sheer terror. The only comparable experiences for me were Ajax/Feyenoord and Southend/Millwall when we won 4-1 (mainly the terror element).

I'd love to cover one. I think I'll be asking the boss if I can go next year. I'd love to do a Turkish derby, you know, from behind bullet-proof glass.

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

I'd love to cover one. I think I'll be asking the boss if I can go next year. I'd love to do a Turkish derby, you know, from behind bullet-proof glass.

Saw England play in Turkey once, and I can honestly say I was grateful to get back to Bosnia.