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  1. * ORM *

    Random musings of a journeyman footballer

    Saturday 12th May sees me play my last competitive football game. That will have been 42 years of league football since my old teacher at Westleigh Junior School entered us in the Southend Junior league back in 1976. Since then I make it I have played for 16 different clubs in 15 different...
  2. fbm

    NoMOWnate - in aid of Cancer Research... is it your turn?

    In aid of Cancer Research, I was nominated to have a photo taken doing some naked gardening. The result is here - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152455728470948&set=a.10150199965550948.341349.754020947&type=1&theater I in turn nominated our very own Cricko, who may need some...
  3. Ayrshire Blue

    RIP Trigger

    One of the greatest TV characters of all time in my opinion. Thanks for the laughs. RIP
  4. Kevin Hogg

    A Shrimper till I die!

    Am still on my endless travels (Malta for now) but will always be Southend! Priceless memories, great people, laughs, lots of miles, the odd injury, a few wins, a few more draws and lots of defeats! Ha ha. Am loving seeing Southend United top of the league - still as proud as ever. C'Mon You...
  5. Chairman Trigg

    Question Anyone know any French??

    Found this article on the internet in French ,and pressed the translation button on google Its so much clearer now .Makes his style of football ,and the reason he came here so much clearer now FOOTBALL The English dream Bilel Mohsni 22.07.2010 Already author, a year ago, noticed a...
  6. pringlejon

    Question Hot girls with bad laughs

    Saw an attractive girl in the street when I was on my way to the shops a minute ago. Nice figure and all that, but then she laughed...the kind of loud laugh you feel embarrassed to be around. Simple question, could you look past the laugh and date someone like this or would you politely refuse...
  7. Napster

    which ex-shrimper

    said the following: They usually give me a right good roasting but it’s great fun and lots of laughs
  8. well known supporter from the North bank 70's and 80's

    I have seen my name mentioned on the forum and wonder if anyone remembers me, my name is Keith Mcghie and I moved to Scotland in 1981 after supporting southend since the late 60's. I supported us through some bad times and remember some great laughs in the North bank. Memories are a guy called...
  9. Glee

    Anyone else cracking on with this show,downloaded the first one months ago and thought it sucked but caught the 2nd one on 4+ and it hit a chord,much as we are klang did.We are nearly through the first season now and loving it,whole family watch and there are some really great one line laughs...
  10. OldBlueLady

    Bristol Rovs' no 6

    Ok, now I have to point out that this was NOT noticed initially by me, but by my daughter. The comment was that the guy had a major wedgie going on http://www.southendunitedpics.co.uk/pictures_1788075/coca-cola-league-one-southend-united-vs-bristol-rovers.html Don't know about that, his...
  11. Napster

    Terry Alderton

    http://www.sport.co.uk/features/Football/697/Sportcouk_meetsTerry_Alderton_PART_1.aspx Sport.co.uk caught up with goalkeeper-turned-comedian Terry Alderton, whom fellow funny man and comedy genius Eddie Izzard described as "a fantastic comedy mind". In Part 1, Terry recalls his beloved Southend...
  12. ESB's League One Preview - Part 2

    Millwall Last Season: 5th Manager: Kenny Jackett Key Player: Nadjim Abdou, Midfielder. Prediction: 6th Those delightful Bermondsey boys were incredibly unlucky in the Play-Off final last term, losing to Matt Sparrow at Wembley. Keeping their squad together and another season under Kenny...
  13. Irish_Shrimper


    Played this through at work tonight, and it is brilliant. Laughs all the way through, and more cringe-worthy moments than Borat. Nice and short too, at 86 ish minutes in duration, so it doesn't drag at all. One prize moment was Bruno telling a terrorist leader in the Middle East that his 'King...
  14. TrueBlue

    Mildenhall Northbank

    Will he come dogging with us? Superb atmosphere tonight great laughs with the team in good spirits just something that could/should be if we had the North Bank again for real!
  15. duncan bulgaria

    Pub Quiz names

    Got our work pub quiz tonight and got a few names in the hat for our team , just wondering if there are any corkers out there I can get some laughs with . Our top 3 albeit not brilliant are Crouching women , hidden Cucumber - my choice E=MC Hammer - pals choice E for Idiots - also a pals...
  16. canveyshrimper

    Ireland declares war on France

    The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice says. "This is Paddy down at the Hogshead Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you Frenchies!" "Well, Paddy,"...
  17. Popbitch joke

    this made me smile.... Three parrots are for sale. They cost £100, £200 and £15. A woman asks "Why is that parrot so cheap?" The shopkeeper replies, "because it used to live in a brothel." The woman thinks its funny and buys the parrot. When she gets home the parrot says...
  18. tropic thunder seen?

    music good 60s 70s shame about the laughs or lack off still a night out good old orange wednesday.
  19. Harold Bishop Killer


    A Primary school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by Year 5 students. Their insight may surprise...
  20. ldnfatso

    Cliffs Pavilion Spam

    This is a blo0dy disgrace! :madman: