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  1. wildheart

    My friendly invasion - Its was all big Bill Garners fault!

    My friendly invasion Many years ago, in fact it was 23rd July 1985 I was lounging in the sunshine in Southchurch Park in Southend it was a Sunday. The reason for me being prostrate on this beautiful Sunday was I was watching a one day match between Essex and it could have been Warwickshire or...
  2. Time to discard the coloured cards

    For a while now I have thought that a yellow and a red card were insufficient to determine the severity of numerous types of fouls in games; after Saturday at Gillingham I feel even stronger that something needs to be done. Why can we not have a RANGE of punishments shown by a value rather than...
  3. RHB

    Being 65 is cool!

    I was sent this today by another oldie mate from the Colonies. I thought it worth sharing. I am over 65 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ***-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds...
  4. Rope Trick?

    Barry Corr wasn't training with the full squad this morning. he was doing his own workout with a trainer/physio, a rope and a pole (no eastern european jokes please). Does anyone know why. Injured already?
  5. There but for the Grace of God....

    Been a bit busy today so have been out of touch but have just seen that Aldershot have gone into admin. I know there are some on here who will probably not shed too much of a tear after Floodlightgate but I, for one, will wish them well and hope they survive as one football fan to another; for...
  6. Darwin awards 2012.

    Darwin Awards 2012 Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran"...
  7. Evening Echo

    Southend United's Michael Timlin: I know I can’t afford to get booked against Dagenha

    SOUTHEND United midfielder Michael Timlin will be walking a disciplinary tight-rope in tonight’s Johnstone’s Paint Trophy game against Dagenham and Redbridge at Roots Hall. More...
  8. Breaking News Jean-Francois Christophe: I will get back to Premier League

    He's experienced life once as a Premiership footballer and Jean-Francois Christophe is determined to do so again. A star now with Southend United, the charismatic Frenchman is confident he can again prove to managers higher up the Football League pyramid why Harry Redknapp took a chance on him...
  9. Tangled up in Blue

    A typical bloke...discuss?

    A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend,decided to take a holiday.He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is; until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After...

    Round 1: Heat 7: Doolittle vs Give 'em Enough Rope

    Another interesting match up at The Big Shrimps seriously underrated band The Pixies - Doolittle square up to The Clash - Give 'em Enough Rope (Firestorm) Personally i think Garry should post up a load of Alina Vacariu pictures and claim he got his comps mixed up !!!

    First Round Draw

    Right, welcome to Southchurch where the draw has just taken place for the first round .. these are listed along with the dates match ups are to take place Wednesday 25th February RADIOHEAD - OK COMPUTER (Pubey) vs THE BEATLES - THE WHITE ALBUM (Bobby Greenberg) NEW ORDER - TECHNIQUE (Mad...
  12. Napster

    OD -Play-offs

    Biggest game in my managerial career Playing a side who have a few players better than mine, but I have a more balanced team, and have a winning streak of 11 games... and it's a good start Welcome to Trent Bridge CG for the match between Trent Bridge and Napster's XI. We can tell you that...
  13. If Trafalgar was today..

    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy!" Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation...
  14. NZamba Legend

    The Charlatans

    Read in the Echo that one-time scallydelic contenders The Charlatans are playing at Chinnery's tonight. Anyone on here going? Will you be wearing 23 inch flares or parallels? Bernie Friend's interiew with Tim Burgess was good- I found Tim's comment that bands from around Manchester made 'great...
  15. callan

    School Sports Day.

    Both my kids have had there sports days this week, and both managed to contrive to come last in every event they entered. My eldest daughter was spectactularly bad and provided some real comedy moments especially when she managed to tie up some poor kid with a skipping rope in the skipping relay...
  16. Harold Bishop Killer

    Workers Compensation

    I so hope this is true!! This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board... Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I...
  17. Harold Bishop Killer

    (NSFW 18+) Blonde Genies

    A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next...
  18. Flaiming Moe


    Anyone know if any of our squad are walking the tightrope with regards to bookings and suspensions with the play-offs iminent. Seem to recall that there is a cut-off point with bookings, but obviously red-cards would still incur a suspension.
  19. SUFC_Al


    Found this on another forum and think it's pretty cool! CLINT EASTWOOD: When you rearrange the letters: OLD WEST ACTION SALMAN RUSHDIE: When you rearrange the letters: READ, SHUN ISLAM DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters...
  20. Good to see.....

    ....the players fighting for each other given the fracas at Stoke, team spirit is obviously top notch and (as we knew already) we have a very tight knit squad and we'll need morale like that to escape. I'd imagine Tilly will be delighted by what happened at half time despite Clarkey's booking...