• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

scissors

  1. Phil's team talk

    Dressing room minute's from KO. Phil...ok lads you know the drill keep the effing thing,I want sideways passing and going back home Adam..hey gaffer what about us trying to score Phil,Bazza are you effing insane just keep it and knock it around Payne..hey boss why am I benched Phil,eff off...
  2. Yorkshire Blue

    Latest Rumours Michael Richardson on trial

    In case we haven't already got enough electricians from the North East who can play right back at our club, Michael Richardson is apparently joining on trial. More usually seen in midfield, his last action at Roots Hall was missing a penalty in the League Cup shoot-out v Orient, a game now...
  3. danburyshrimper

    I wonder if .........

    I wonder if our new manager loses his Wembley Scissors/Paper/Stone best of 3 with Paul Sturrock , whether he will soon feature on this list .... ? http://www.sport.co.uk/features/top-ten-shortest-spells-in-management/324 :facepalm:
  4. All At Sea - online shop launched

    Hi all, sorry to hijack the main board with this but I've had quite a few back issues requests from SZ'ers recently so this may be of interest. We've now launched our own online shop where you can see and buy back issues, the current issue, and subscribe to the fanzine wherever you are in the...
  5. Benfleet A1

    The mongol rally 2012

    Well I had intended on leaving this until nearer the time but things have moved on a little quicker than expected so here goes. Several years ago I was being all funky and surfing the net when I happened across an web site called TheAdventurists. Through my drunken haze I read about a totally...
  6. All At Sea season 2010/11

    Good evening After much deliberation, All At Sea will be continuing during the coming season. However, having lost a co-editor I am going to need the help of fellow Southend fans more than ever. I've had a couple of offers of help which are gratefully received, but anyone who fancies writing us...
  7. NSFW Cybersex - You're doing it wrong (18+)

    taken from b3ta: Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an...
  8. Vacancy - All At Sea fanzine co-editor / scissors and pritt stick man

    Hoping the mods will allow this. Our co-editor Neddy Beavan has had enough of Ron Martin and has opted to take a well-deserved break from co-editing Southend United's longest-serving fanzine of all time. As a result, All At Sea requires a loyal and enthusiastic individual to help the running...
  9. Benfleet A1

    Bullies and Bullying

    Now bare with me good readers, this is going somewhere but I want to give it some background first. When I was a kid I was bullied, bad. My first taste of it was at the grand old age of 4 years old at nursery school where a phycotic 5 year old used to attack the entire fraturnity. He would rip...
  10. Winkle

    Gave me a liitle chortle!

    I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber..... The Perfect Dump Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of...
  11. BLUEBLOOD

    How to start a fight

    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming...
  12. All At Sea fanzine

    Hello all, Reports of the death of All At Sea have been greatly exaggerated. We plan be back with the first issue of the 2008/09 season on Boxing Day for the game with Northampton Town. This all depends on contributions and people available to sell it of course. So we appeal to anyone who has...
  13. Harold Bishop Killer

    The Boss

    Mine is up her own arse, mid-30’s Aussie female who loves never better than do patronise me. The one thing I hate most in a personality. The way she conducts herself and speaks to me feels like I am back in infant school when you had to have her hand held to cross the road and they give you...
  14. So are you teased yet!?! (New strip)

    Oh yeah, wow, whoo let's get motivated people! I am cynical and a tad sarcastic on this topic, thus - apologies. BUT - Should we form a poll to find out whom has got their double sided sticky tape out and has cut out (with adult help for the scissors!) the 'snippets' of the new kit to make...
  15. DTS

    Trapped in my own trousers!

    I had the most unusual experience on my life last night. Went up to Forest with my boss (Larger stakeholder for you Naps) who is a really top bloke. He is a mad Forest fan but was really gracious in defeat. I was thinking of going up my coach and staying at my mate Dom's house in Southend but...
  16. scrounger

    Dump

    Lowering the tone a bit here but it is an essential discussion topic IMO: To whom it may concern: Taking A Dump... I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more...
  17. DTS

    Ben vs Dave - Should men shave there pubic areas?

    Ben and I are at logger heads having done the "How Gay are you test". I have already got the right camel as I am 33% Gay and Ben is only 10% gay which is pretty wrong. We did the test again answering the same questions and a shocking stat came to light. Ben at the age of 32 has never trimmed...
  18. Just got back

    Incredible. Pretty poor performance for the first 83 minutes then one of the most crazy ten minutes I've ever seen. Eastwood scored a cracker, Lewis Hunt scored one of the best goals I've ever seen - a 25 yard scissors kick, and even more remarkable, Billy Paynter scored! I thought...
  19. All At Sea

    Those who plan to write something for this month's All At Sea have until Sunday evening to do so, as the new issue will, hopefully, be out for the game with Scunthorpe on March 10. Cartoons, letters, jokes, amusing mistakes by the media and all kinds of stuff should find its way to...
  20. Xàbia Shrimper

    FAQ 1 : The North Bank

    Why can’t we go back to the North Bank? The simple answer is: no-one really wants to. The longer answer needs a cup of coffee and a comfy armchair ... The North Bank debate has raged for many years, almost as soon as Vic Jobson kicked us all out in 1994 and “forced” us to use the new...
Top