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  1. OldBlueLady

    New Years Eve 2009

    Ok, I remember there being a variety of opinions last year, so with it leading into a long weekend this year, who's doing what? Personally, I hate it but am being dragged kicking and screaming to my friend's, round the corner. She lives in a cul de sac and they always have a big marquee and...
  2. Slipperduke

    Wenger's Vengeance

    Try and imagine, if you will, Arsene Wenger throwing a tantrum. It doesn't really fit in with his professorial demeanour, does it? I can imagine him taking me to one side, putting a hand on my shoulder and telling me that he wasn't angry with me, that he was just disappointed. I can imagine that...

  3. First Class Footballer, Second Rate Sportsman

    Alone in the 18 yard box, dejected with a painful expression on his face. He's missed the penalty, yet the Santiago Bernabeu is rocking. Yes, Cristiano Ronaldo is back to his usual, petulant self and even the Madrid faithful are growing ever-so-slightly tired of it all. If ever a moment defined...
  4. Slipperduke

    I Hate West Ham

    I hate reporting from Upton Park. I've had enough bad jobs in my life to know that I shouldn't whinge about this one, but I really can't stand the place. I'm no shrinking violet, I've done an away trip to Millwall, but that lot down Green Street are horrible. On Saturday, I heard one of them...
  5. Benfleet A1

    Working For a ***** Company

    As some of you will know, I work for a Rescue & Recovery Company which is not your average 9-5 sort of job. Most though not all who do this job expect long hours, all weather conditions and sometimes, the very real risk of serious injury or even death. It's the nature of the job (considered in...
    • Benfleet A1
    • Thread
    • advised afford amazed ched comfort continued daw encounter gutless hatred heres jobs jury latvia loading military money motors patience physical pulled pulling ramblings screaming scumbag ski strips taught test tipping toss truck tugging
    • Replies: 25
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  6. southend4ever

    The Dilemma

    Your other half shares a house with 5 other students. One is an attention seeking, high pitched loud mouth screaming little toe rag. After meeting her and thinking this on your first opinion and continually finding this how long do you wait before in her own back yard you tell her to put a...
  7. Yer Blues

    the rules of lighter theft

    Here below are the official rules of stealing other people's lighters. Although stealing lighters is despicable and morally wrong, it is always going to happen whether it be an accident or you're going all out to steal it.So I have written the OFFICIAL rules of stealing lighters so we all have a...
    • Yer Blues
    • Thread
    • advised boast bra catches cease cos crafty define detected disposable elite following gas heres hidden includes isnt jet ley lighters magician nico oldest peoples possesion properly screaming sleeve sock stealing test thieving types wasn
    • Replies: 0
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  8. Interpol Shrimper

    Phone Call

    Shamelessly nicked from another forum... **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mummy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't...
  9. Rob Noxious

    'Oil City Confidential'

    ...is the title of a film coming out in October. It's about Canvey's finest, Dr. Feelgood, and has been made by Julien Temple. Apparently, Wilko, Sparko and The Big Figure have all been very much involved in it and it charts the rise of the band through their 'pub rock' years in London to the...
    • Rob Noxious
    • Thread
    • booze brilleaux delta feelgood imo music oil rock screaming wilko
    • Replies: 57
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  10. Rusty Shackleford

    Littlejohn on Mandelson

    I would hope that Zoners from both ends of the political spectrum would find plenty to agree on in this withering commentary on 'Mandy': http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1207265/RICHARD-LITTLEJOHN-Screaming-Lord-Mandys-nauseating-flying-circus.html My particular favourite line was...

  11. Question Francis Laurent

    Was strapped up and stretchered off with what looked a serious injury. Terrible tackle that lead to it, and straight away he looked in serious pain on the floor, rolling, screaming etc. It looked like a leg break at first. Anyway, does anyone know anymore about it?
  12. Slipperduke

    Referees Are Cowards

    Another year, another desperate attempt by the Football Association to regain some semblance of control over their sport. This week's announcement that managers will no longer be able to criticise referees before the game has even started is just the latest in a series of inadequate sticking...
    • Slipperduke
    • Thread
    • ban behave cas champions chief dissent ead easier fro hut millionaire multi offences poorly pulling ran retrospective rugby screaming shouts slack sticking surrounding tugging vulnerable
    • Replies: 4
    • Forum: The Big Dady's General Football Forum

  13. Filthiest Bird Ever Nailed.

    Thats right folks there are plenty about especially in Essex. Mine has to be an old taffy bird I nailed in Greece with the cockroach, she was a dead ringer for Irene from home and away but with corn beaf legs. Anyway there we were in bar drinking some cheap horrible vodka in pints and these...
    • Bazza the dog
    • Thread
    • applause beds booze chuck eating extras screaming shoes ski snake town truck walls wasn wish
    • Replies: 1
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  14. Ron Manager

    Operation Tango - Very Funny

    I have no allegiance to either Rangers or Celtic (being an athiest Englishman, why would I?) but I did find this quite funny - http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2009/05/operation-tango-best-football-fans.html You Tube video if you follow the above link. Something called "Operation Tango"...
  15. OldBlueLady

    Chairman's Blog 12th May

    Chairman's Blog I believe I have now answered all those questions – either singularly or combined – that have been sent to the Club’s media department. There were one or two “stragglers” but these points were covered in earlier responses. I have yet to come to a...
    • OldBlueLady
    • Thread
    • applies blogging budgets combined degree duplication exactly following fur grandparents growth individuals investing mark gower money qui responses retain screaming shared significant southport surrounding youth
    • Replies: 42
    • Forum: Shrimpers Chit-Chat
  16. shrimpereeee

    Mad Dog Allen

    Without doubt he was man of the match and worth the admission money alone. What a plonker. If he carries on like that on the touchline for much longer he'll end up having a coronary. Seriously, how can his players express themselves and play without fear when he's screaming, shouting, kicking...
  17. Slipperduke

    I wish I'd Gone To Hayes

    Barcelona 0-0 Chelsea So was it Guus Hiddink's tactics or Petr Cech's saves? Was it the referee and his failure to spot a late tug on Theirry Henry or was it Barcelona's inability to take their chances? Chelsea fans won't give two hoots. The net result of this rather grim affair was a scoreless...
    • Slipperduke
    • Thread
    • axes beast bra brough cas controlled eating edged entertaining esses eto florent fur harsher hes iron nicolas pique qui rafael rea samuel screaming substitute sweets tacking wasn wish wouldn
    • Replies: 4
    • Forum: The Big Dady's General Football Forum
  18. Winkle

    Gave me a liitle chortle!

    I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber..... The Perfect Dump Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of...
    • Winkle
    • Thread
    • advised audi bathroom chilli clinging core failing following harmony hurts japanese nam odious scissors screaming shirt shuffle sinister socks stinging supply tolerance towels walls wipe
    • Replies: 2
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  19. Benfleet A1

    A Recovery Nightmare

    It all started normally. Flat battery in South Woodham Ferrers, clutch gone on an VW Camper in Westcliff another flat battery at Southend Hospital. All run of the mill stuff. Then I got a call for an Ford Scorpio in Pitsea with a wheel bearing gone and needing recovery to Great Yarmouth. That'll...
    • Benfleet A1
    • Thread
    • accent amused attraction battery boreham camper caused civil cliff compared conversation daw diesel diet doctors earthquake etta fields ford fried gagging graves headed ish itself money nicely pile producing pulled rab refuse screaming shift shirt thrown trance tray truck typing wasn wouldn yarmouth
    • Replies: 8
    • Forum: Homer's Bar

  20. Post-Match Thread and Ratings Huddersfield Town 0-1 Southend United

    blustery day - big pitch, decent stadium 12 thousand smiling northerners and a really annoying announcer shouting and screaming in the way too loud pa... they were trying really hard with give away season tickets and deck chairs on the pitch and each players soponsor announced - and going on...
    • Rayleigh boy
    • Thread
    • adds bandage convincing hasn ickets ish league one pace producing pulled rate rut screaming stepped tilly town
    • Replies: 20
    • Forum: Shrimpers Chit-Chat
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