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With the exception of the time when one of them was shot on the eyes with a paintball gun and went blind, Ant and Dec have never been in so much trouble.
Between ripping off viewers with rigged text-in competitions and now the news that a British Comedy Award they won was also rigged, the cheeky Geordie bobbleheads are now neck-deep in ****. Which, since it’s Ant and Dec, is about three inches of ****.
Now Ant and Dec, who appear to be oblivious to all these vote-fixing shenanigans, have said they are ‘appalled’ by the scandal. Hopefully not appalled enough to quit television forever, though, because that just leaves film and music for them to return to and, lord, haven’t we suffered enough already?
Last year the world of television was exposed as an utter fraud. Literally everything you saw onscreen was a deliberate attempt to mislead you. The Queen was seen throwing a strop when she didn’t, Richard and Judy asked you to phone in for competitions after the winners had been chosen, Penelope Cruz’s eyelashes didn’t really exist and Alan Titchmarsh was revealed to be a 30-foot mechanical reptile warrior in a fleshy costume who interviewed guests via several clever perspective-based camera angles.
But perhaps worst hit were Ant and Dec. Now that they’re big stars – OK, maybe ‘confusingly underdeveloped-looking stars who are quite famous’ is more accurate – Ant and Dec are now allowed to have their names slapped all over anything they present. There’s Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway, Ant & Dec’s Gameshow Marathon, the sadly uncommissioned Ant & Dec’s Chlamydia Swab… Live! – but, while this above the line profile is good for a host’s ego, it also drops them right in the crapper when anything goes wrong.
And, boy, have things gone wrong. ITV has been fined a record £5.67 million for its participation in these vote-rigging scandals, and shows presented by Ant and Dec account for a whopping £4.2 million of this. Still, Ant and Dec say they were unaware of any vote-rigging, ITV has promised to reimburse cheated viewers and everyone’s very sorry. The end.
Or it would be the end, if only it hadn’t just been revealed that Ant and Dec fraudulantly won a comedy award in 2005 because it was the only way to get Robbie Williams to come to the show.
The Sun reports: The Geordie lads were wrongly given a top prize at the 2005 British Comedy Awards. It should have gone to funny-girl Catherine Tate, who was picked by viewers. Telly bosses gave Ant and Dec the gong because superstar Robbie Williams would only attend the glitzy show if he could present his pals with an award… Ant and Decs spokesman said:They are so upset and completely appalled. They have been lucky to win many awards and would never want to win an award in this way.
Oh, you’ll never win an award again, Ant and Dec, that’s for sure. Unless they start handing out awards for Most Unknowingly Untrustworthy TV Presenters Who Look A Little Bit Like Foetuses, that is. Which we don’t think they do.
Honestly Ant and Dec, we’re not sure we can ever believe anything you have to say again. Or anything you ever said in the past, for that matter. “Watch us wreck the mic”? Cuh, we wouldn’t be surprised if you never wrecked any mics at all, you bloody unwittingly misleading *******s.
Taken from some site
Between ripping off viewers with rigged text-in competitions and now the news that a British Comedy Award they won was also rigged, the cheeky Geordie bobbleheads are now neck-deep in ****. Which, since it’s Ant and Dec, is about three inches of ****.
Now Ant and Dec, who appear to be oblivious to all these vote-fixing shenanigans, have said they are ‘appalled’ by the scandal. Hopefully not appalled enough to quit television forever, though, because that just leaves film and music for them to return to and, lord, haven’t we suffered enough already?
Last year the world of television was exposed as an utter fraud. Literally everything you saw onscreen was a deliberate attempt to mislead you. The Queen was seen throwing a strop when she didn’t, Richard and Judy asked you to phone in for competitions after the winners had been chosen, Penelope Cruz’s eyelashes didn’t really exist and Alan Titchmarsh was revealed to be a 30-foot mechanical reptile warrior in a fleshy costume who interviewed guests via several clever perspective-based camera angles.
But perhaps worst hit were Ant and Dec. Now that they’re big stars – OK, maybe ‘confusingly underdeveloped-looking stars who are quite famous’ is more accurate – Ant and Dec are now allowed to have their names slapped all over anything they present. There’s Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway, Ant & Dec’s Gameshow Marathon, the sadly uncommissioned Ant & Dec’s Chlamydia Swab… Live! – but, while this above the line profile is good for a host’s ego, it also drops them right in the crapper when anything goes wrong.
And, boy, have things gone wrong. ITV has been fined a record £5.67 million for its participation in these vote-rigging scandals, and shows presented by Ant and Dec account for a whopping £4.2 million of this. Still, Ant and Dec say they were unaware of any vote-rigging, ITV has promised to reimburse cheated viewers and everyone’s very sorry. The end.
Or it would be the end, if only it hadn’t just been revealed that Ant and Dec fraudulantly won a comedy award in 2005 because it was the only way to get Robbie Williams to come to the show.
The Sun reports: The Geordie lads were wrongly given a top prize at the 2005 British Comedy Awards. It should have gone to funny-girl Catherine Tate, who was picked by viewers. Telly bosses gave Ant and Dec the gong because superstar Robbie Williams would only attend the glitzy show if he could present his pals with an award… Ant and Decs spokesman said:They are so upset and completely appalled. They have been lucky to win many awards and would never want to win an award in this way.
Oh, you’ll never win an award again, Ant and Dec, that’s for sure. Unless they start handing out awards for Most Unknowingly Untrustworthy TV Presenters Who Look A Little Bit Like Foetuses, that is. Which we don’t think they do.
Honestly Ant and Dec, we’re not sure we can ever believe anything you have to say again. Or anything you ever said in the past, for that matter. “Watch us wreck the mic”? Cuh, we wouldn’t be surprised if you never wrecked any mics at all, you bloody unwittingly misleading *******s.
Taken from some site
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