Slipperduke
The Camden Cad
I'm told by my Scottish friends that when it comes to excitement, you'll have to go a long way to beat an Old Firm derby between Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic. I've always been a little dubious of that claim. After all, I've been to Tottenham against Arsenal. Could it really be anymore exciting than that? Erm...yes. It turns out it can be. Celtic went into this game desperately needing victory to stay in the title race. They did it, but they had to wait until the third minute of injury time in a game that had everything. And I mean everything.
Gordon Strachan, formerly of Coventry and Southampton, is in charge of Celtic, but if the homes fans had their way, he might not be. There's a strange, intangible feeling from the stands that Strachan doesn't quite understand what it means to manage such a huge club and, in spite of some tremendous performances in Europe, they let him have it with both barrels whenever things go against them. With four defeats from four encounters with Walter Smith's Rangers, they've not had a lot to celebrate recently.
You would never have guessed it from the way that they dominated the first half. Roared on by an incandescent home crowd, the green and white hoops were superior in every department during a ferocious exchange. The first fight came just 45 seconds into the game, but it wasn't the last by any means. Every tackle seemed designed not to win the ball, but to maim. It was extraordinary viewing.
Shunsuke Nakamura broke the deadlock with a goal as good as you will see anywhere else in the world. Opening fire from 30 yards out, the Japanese midfielder managed to send in a shot that headed for the top right corner of the goal, before changing its mind and veering off towards the left.
Smith reacted at half-time by sending on the explosive frontman Nacho Novo and it paid dividends after just ten minutes. The Spaniard crashed the equaliser home from just inside the box, sparking scenes of jubilation on the Rangers bench. Substitute Gary Naysmith celebrated by running onto the pitch and thus became the first unused substitute that I've ever seen booked. This was rapidly becoming less of a football match and more a trivia question for future generations. The madness continued when Carlos Cuella made a superb save, palming Nakumura's goalbound shot over the crossbar. The only problem was that Cuella plays at centre-back and referees take a very dim view of these sort of things.
Cuella was dismissed, but Celtic striker Scott McDonald managed to miss the penalty, sending the ball too close to Rangers' actual goalkeeper Allan McGregor. McGregor, and I do hope you're keeping up with this because there'll be a test later, had injured his ankle earlier in the game and this final bit of heroism worsened his condition. The Rangers medical team ran on to patch him up, but came under attack from a coin-thrower in the stands. The doctors performed magnificently under fire, but not before the affluent sniper found his range and clipped one of them painfully on the back of the hand. McGregor tried to continue but had to withdraw with 13 minutes to go.
It seemed that Rangers had slapped one sweaty hand on the SPL title, but then disaster struck. Steven Caldwell lobbed a pass to McDonald, who made amends for his spot-kick aberration by nodding it on to the wonderfully-named Jan Vennegor of Hessilink. The giant Dutchman launched himself at it and, from a range of about three yards bundled it into the net to trigger a noise at Celtic Park that blew one of the speakers in my television.
The Scottish, as you might expect, still had time for one more fight and they saved it until after the final whistle, throwing off the safety catches and charging at each other, fists flying, in a extraordinary melee. I've discovered this week that I've covered over 100 football matches for The New Paper this season, but I can say with some confidence that I've not yet seen one quite like this. The SPL title race is still on, Strachan will keep his job, tens of thousands of Scotsmen will go into work hungover this morning and I've never been prouder of my heritage. My Scottish friends were right, this was brilliant fun.
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE 6/5
Gordon Strachan, formerly of Coventry and Southampton, is in charge of Celtic, but if the homes fans had their way, he might not be. There's a strange, intangible feeling from the stands that Strachan doesn't quite understand what it means to manage such a huge club and, in spite of some tremendous performances in Europe, they let him have it with both barrels whenever things go against them. With four defeats from four encounters with Walter Smith's Rangers, they've not had a lot to celebrate recently.
You would never have guessed it from the way that they dominated the first half. Roared on by an incandescent home crowd, the green and white hoops were superior in every department during a ferocious exchange. The first fight came just 45 seconds into the game, but it wasn't the last by any means. Every tackle seemed designed not to win the ball, but to maim. It was extraordinary viewing.
Shunsuke Nakamura broke the deadlock with a goal as good as you will see anywhere else in the world. Opening fire from 30 yards out, the Japanese midfielder managed to send in a shot that headed for the top right corner of the goal, before changing its mind and veering off towards the left.
Smith reacted at half-time by sending on the explosive frontman Nacho Novo and it paid dividends after just ten minutes. The Spaniard crashed the equaliser home from just inside the box, sparking scenes of jubilation on the Rangers bench. Substitute Gary Naysmith celebrated by running onto the pitch and thus became the first unused substitute that I've ever seen booked. This was rapidly becoming less of a football match and more a trivia question for future generations. The madness continued when Carlos Cuella made a superb save, palming Nakumura's goalbound shot over the crossbar. The only problem was that Cuella plays at centre-back and referees take a very dim view of these sort of things.
Cuella was dismissed, but Celtic striker Scott McDonald managed to miss the penalty, sending the ball too close to Rangers' actual goalkeeper Allan McGregor. McGregor, and I do hope you're keeping up with this because there'll be a test later, had injured his ankle earlier in the game and this final bit of heroism worsened his condition. The Rangers medical team ran on to patch him up, but came under attack from a coin-thrower in the stands. The doctors performed magnificently under fire, but not before the affluent sniper found his range and clipped one of them painfully on the back of the hand. McGregor tried to continue but had to withdraw with 13 minutes to go.
It seemed that Rangers had slapped one sweaty hand on the SPL title, but then disaster struck. Steven Caldwell lobbed a pass to McDonald, who made amends for his spot-kick aberration by nodding it on to the wonderfully-named Jan Vennegor of Hessilink. The giant Dutchman launched himself at it and, from a range of about three yards bundled it into the net to trigger a noise at Celtic Park that blew one of the speakers in my television.
The Scottish, as you might expect, still had time for one more fight and they saved it until after the final whistle, throwing off the safety catches and charging at each other, fists flying, in a extraordinary melee. I've discovered this week that I've covered over 100 football matches for The New Paper this season, but I can say with some confidence that I've not yet seen one quite like this. The SPL title race is still on, Strachan will keep his job, tens of thousands of Scotsmen will go into work hungover this morning and I've never been prouder of my heritage. My Scottish friends were right, this was brilliant fun.
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE 6/5
