Winkle
Manager
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2005
- Messages
- 1,300
Me and the Mrs had a week away ( without the sprogs) in sunny "Portugal which as anyone who has pubesant children time on your own is as rare as hens teeth. Anyway we was enjoying out time together, barbecues, alfresco dining and in the words of Austin powers " I found my mojo". I decided to cook a meal one evening, freshly caught Sardines, barbecued in tin foil with lemon juice and olive oil.
Know my beutiful wife does not like anything to hot so I decided to spice my portion up with a jar that was left in the cupboard by the previous guests Piri Piri. It smelt ok so I whacked it on covered the sardines in tin foil and partook in to several bottles of SUPERBOCK. I dished them up with a walnut salad and french bread and tucked in.
It was at this point that I noticed my nose starting to run and a deep burning feeling at the back of my throat. Wow I laughed as the Mrs said " A bit to hot are they? . Well I could not lose any face but feck me it felt like someone had pulled my gizzard up from my @rse and set light to them. Sweating profusily I managed two and a half sardines only by an stuffing bread in my gob to dull the pain and soak up any condensation that was dribbling off of my tongue and like a true champion only left half a sardine.
To be fair after about twenty minutes the pain recinded and I got slowly s***faced.
The following day we decided to head for the beach and as someone who as a low boredom freshhold once I paid for the sunbeds and the beloved was listening to her ipod, I noticed along the beach about a mile away was what looked like a monument of some sort, so I started heading for it. Some people carry phones some people carry bags and others nothing but as like a previous thread, when It comes to feeling the pans of "**** city" I have a small exit window and as I had not been for a few days (why is that when you go abroad) wet wipes were firmly in my speedo short pockets. I headed for the monument and was walking for about 20 mins when I felt the first twinge of discomfort. The only two options available to me was the sea......Which was a big no no or behind the monument there was some bushes which was the only viable option. I looked around and could see no one around so decided to basically have a dump. I was in mid motion with what I can only describe as brown piri piri slurry exiting from my posterior when a crowd of children and a what I think was a school teacher came round the corner and saw me crouched with my speedos down. .
It was at this point that I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. If I would have had a gun I would have shot myself due to the utter utter embarassment.
She quickly turned them round and shoed them along the other way and I managed to quickly finish, clean my burnt and throbbing ring piece and leg it.
Having been back in blighty for over a week now it as left me mentally scared. I hope to god in time I will lose the picture of that poor teachers face as she looked at me up and down but it is a lesson learned " Piri Piri is dangerous kids, its not big or clever to mess around with, so be warned.
Know my beutiful wife does not like anything to hot so I decided to spice my portion up with a jar that was left in the cupboard by the previous guests Piri Piri. It smelt ok so I whacked it on covered the sardines in tin foil and partook in to several bottles of SUPERBOCK. I dished them up with a walnut salad and french bread and tucked in.
It was at this point that I noticed my nose starting to run and a deep burning feeling at the back of my throat. Wow I laughed as the Mrs said " A bit to hot are they? . Well I could not lose any face but feck me it felt like someone had pulled my gizzard up from my @rse and set light to them. Sweating profusily I managed two and a half sardines only by an stuffing bread in my gob to dull the pain and soak up any condensation that was dribbling off of my tongue and like a true champion only left half a sardine.
To be fair after about twenty minutes the pain recinded and I got slowly s***faced.
The following day we decided to head for the beach and as someone who as a low boredom freshhold once I paid for the sunbeds and the beloved was listening to her ipod, I noticed along the beach about a mile away was what looked like a monument of some sort, so I started heading for it. Some people carry phones some people carry bags and others nothing but as like a previous thread, when It comes to feeling the pans of "**** city" I have a small exit window and as I had not been for a few days (why is that when you go abroad) wet wipes were firmly in my speedo short pockets. I headed for the monument and was walking for about 20 mins when I felt the first twinge of discomfort. The only two options available to me was the sea......Which was a big no no or behind the monument there was some bushes which was the only viable option. I looked around and could see no one around so decided to basically have a dump. I was in mid motion with what I can only describe as brown piri piri slurry exiting from my posterior when a crowd of children and a what I think was a school teacher came round the corner and saw me crouched with my speedos down. .
It was at this point that I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. If I would have had a gun I would have shot myself due to the utter utter embarassment.
She quickly turned them round and shoed them along the other way and I managed to quickly finish, clean my burnt and throbbing ring piece and leg it.
Having been back in blighty for over a week now it as left me mentally scared. I hope to god in time I will lose the picture of that poor teachers face as she looked at me up and down but it is a lesson learned " Piri Piri is dangerous kids, its not big or clever to mess around with, so be warned.
