OldBlueLady
Junior Blues Coordinator⭐⭐
The "yellow" bit got me, I'm thinking Joyce actually or even Barney, both blondies.
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Zone Update Revelling In It...
The "yellow" bit got me, I'm thinking Joyce actually or even Barney, both blondies.
Ayrshire Blue
The Custard Splat
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2008
- Messages
- 17,492
What a difference a goal makes! Not just for a certain Irishman’s goal tally, but for the safety of the Revster.
After hearing the news of Alan McCormack’s strike against Scunthorpe I figured that it was as good a time as any to escape the safety of the bunker and attempt to rekindle my friendship with him.
So I made sure I was there early at our next training session so I was the first person to congratulate him on his well taken finish (I’d been given an excellent analysis of it from Pete the carrier pigeon on his return from delivering last week’s blog to the Club). Luckily he was still in a joyful mood and accepted my gesture of an apology. He then proceeded to tell anyone who’d listen about the strike, as if no one had actually been there or heard about it about fifteen times already.
This was so bad that by Friday afternoon I had to make a brief revisit to the bunker just to get a minutes peace from what had now turned into a sure thing for the goal of the season. The only problem was that on my arrival to the bunker I entered to find Mildy, Barney and Franno there already, not doubt all trying to avoid Mr McCormack’s verbal torture!
As one friendship is rekindling, another one is faltering and I’ve already been given a heads up that Barrett’s Banter may feature a revenge strike on me after my comments about his knitted scarves last week – I just hope his Nan hasn’t knitted me a straightjacket or something!
On the field, it’s one of the brightest periods of the season for the team and the lads have started to string some really good results together, especially as it’s against teams towards the top of the table. In fact against Scunthorpe I think we should have taken six points off them as apposed to four as we received yet another dubious penalty decision against us up at their place, but then how many times have we been saying that this season.
With everything though, things even themselves out over time, and we did receive a bit of good fortune against Peterborough, not through the performance which was again immense, but for the own goal which sealed it.
It was also nice to see Jeff’s spectacular finish and despite what people have been saying, he does practice them in training. The only difference this time is that he connected with the ball as apposed to his mouth which is what usually happens!
One person who should have been more embarrassed than the own goal scorer on Saturday though is Franck Moussa who had the audacity to claim the goal as his own, about as far fetched as Ian Joyce’s claim he has a fashionable haircut!
Personally things are going well, I’ve got my next X-ray on Thursday and all things going well the moon boot should be coming off and I’ll be back to walking normally. The big plus point is that I can finally put some weight on the ankle, and can thus drive short distances in the car, which has given me a new found freedom and cheered me up no end.
Most of my recent rehab has been spent down at ‘Swim Well’ in Rochford and I couldn’t let it go by without mentioning Dawn and her staff down there who have been amazing. It’s a great new swimming place and at one end of the pool there is a resistance function (a bit like a wave machine) which has been cranked up for most of my training schedule. Despite my initial preconception that swimming would be easy, I can safely say I’ve never worked so hard than in that pool – so much so I’ve nearly been sick twice, and that hasn’t happened since I went round Barney’s for a curry night a while back!
They told me the other day that my swimming technique is so good that it resembles that of a well known Olympic athlete, although my joy was somewhat short lived when they compared me to Eric the Eel and not Michael Phelps who I personally thought I resembled!!
However, it hasn’t all been good news this week and I’m sorry to report on the death of Pete the carrier pigeon. Whilst out on another errand for me the other day, he was flying down Southend High Street when he came into earshot of Macca telling someone (probably a total stranger) about his goal yet again, and unfortunately Pete dropped dead of boredom.
As a tribute to Pete I’d like to dedicate my Dish of the Week to him, and I’m sure he’d appreciate it:
‘Pigeon and Potato Stew’ – served with a side salad of course!
Finally, the missus still hasn’t come round to the idea of having the wedding reception at Stringfellow’s and as such has banished me from all preparations and future suggestions.
However, those of you who read the blog regularly will know I’m an eternal optimist and I’ve kept the booking open, you know, just in case!!!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
After hearing the news of Alan McCormack’s strike against Scunthorpe I figured that it was as good a time as any to escape the safety of the bunker and attempt to rekindle my friendship with him.
So I made sure I was there early at our next training session so I was the first person to congratulate him on his well taken finish (I’d been given an excellent analysis of it from Pete the carrier pigeon on his return from delivering last week’s blog to the Club). Luckily he was still in a joyful mood and accepted my gesture of an apology. He then proceeded to tell anyone who’d listen about the strike, as if no one had actually been there or heard about it about fifteen times already.
This was so bad that by Friday afternoon I had to make a brief revisit to the bunker just to get a minutes peace from what had now turned into a sure thing for the goal of the season. The only problem was that on my arrival to the bunker I entered to find Mildy, Barney and Franno there already, not doubt all trying to avoid Mr McCormack’s verbal torture!
As one friendship is rekindling, another one is faltering and I’ve already been given a heads up that Barrett’s Banter may feature a revenge strike on me after my comments about his knitted scarves last week – I just hope his Nan hasn’t knitted me a straightjacket or something!
On the field, it’s one of the brightest periods of the season for the team and the lads have started to string some really good results together, especially as it’s against teams towards the top of the table. In fact against Scunthorpe I think we should have taken six points off them as apposed to four as we received yet another dubious penalty decision against us up at their place, but then how many times have we been saying that this season.
With everything though, things even themselves out over time, and we did receive a bit of good fortune against Peterborough, not through the performance which was again immense, but for the own goal which sealed it.
It was also nice to see Jeff’s spectacular finish and despite what people have been saying, he does practice them in training. The only difference this time is that he connected with the ball as apposed to his mouth which is what usually happens!
One person who should have been more embarrassed than the own goal scorer on Saturday though is Franck Moussa who had the audacity to claim the goal as his own, about as far fetched as Ian Joyce’s claim he has a fashionable haircut!
Personally things are going well, I’ve got my next X-ray on Thursday and all things going well the moon boot should be coming off and I’ll be back to walking normally. The big plus point is that I can finally put some weight on the ankle, and can thus drive short distances in the car, which has given me a new found freedom and cheered me up no end.
Most of my recent rehab has been spent down at ‘Swim Well’ in Rochford and I couldn’t let it go by without mentioning Dawn and her staff down there who have been amazing. It’s a great new swimming place and at one end of the pool there is a resistance function (a bit like a wave machine) which has been cranked up for most of my training schedule. Despite my initial preconception that swimming would be easy, I can safely say I’ve never worked so hard than in that pool – so much so I’ve nearly been sick twice, and that hasn’t happened since I went round Barney’s for a curry night a while back!
They told me the other day that my swimming technique is so good that it resembles that of a well known Olympic athlete, although my joy was somewhat short lived when they compared me to Eric the Eel and not Michael Phelps who I personally thought I resembled!!
However, it hasn’t all been good news this week and I’m sorry to report on the death of Pete the carrier pigeon. Whilst out on another errand for me the other day, he was flying down Southend High Street when he came into earshot of Macca telling someone (probably a total stranger) about his goal yet again, and unfortunately Pete dropped dead of boredom.
As a tribute to Pete I’d like to dedicate my Dish of the Week to him, and I’m sure he’d appreciate it:
‘Pigeon and Potato Stew’ – served with a side salad of course!
Finally, the missus still hasn’t come round to the idea of having the wedding reception at Stringfellow’s and as such has banished me from all preparations and future suggestions.
However, those of you who read the blog regularly will know I’m an eternal optimist and I’ve kept the booking open, you know, just in case!!!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
palexander
Life President
He! He! Quality stuff from the Revster!
BLUEBLOOD
Moderator of Moderators
Ayrshire ... get your arse over to the pub and at least put some effort into backing Sgt. Pepper in Battle of the Albums !!!!!
Thank you :)
pringlejon
Pringello Indexinator
Revs said:
quality line that! is he ever gonna write a bad blog!?
MK Shrimper
Striker
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2005
- Messages
- 52,643
Good luck getting wood pigeon in Tesco's!
OldBlueLady
Junior Blues Coordinator⭐⭐
Only just got round to reading this - absolutely brilliant! :D
BoyWonder2
2024, the year of the Shrimpers 🍤 ⭐
Another top effort Revs.
Ayrshire Blue
The Custard Splat
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2008
- Messages
- 17,492
It’s never easy when you get your hopes up, only to receive the news that you didn’t want to hear. No I’m not talking about the time I wrote to Jim’ll Fix It to join the A-Team, but when I had my x-ray last Thursday.
Although you are told not to get your hopes up, it’s very hard not too, especially when it would have been the first major sign that all my hard work is paying off.
In short, the specialist said my wound has healed at one end but not the other, thus meaning I’ve got to keep my moon boot on for a further four weeks, and continue with the same training programme I’ve been following to date.
Obviously I was gutted coming out of there and too be honest was feeling a little sorry for myself, and then I saw something which shocked me and changed everything. Basically I saw people collecting for the ‘Help for Hero’s’ campaign, and after seeing and hearing of some of the horrific and life changing injuries some of our soldiers have endured really rammed home how fortunate I am in comparison knowing that I’ll be able to walk again, no matter how long it takes to do so. Needless to say, I made a donation and would urge anyone else to do so if they get the chance.
Saying this, if I thought everyone would go easy on me after hearing the news on my set back then I couldn’t have been further from the truth as I returned to the Swim Well pool for my next session.
I was in for a nasty surprise.
After forgetting to mention GILL (that’s Gill if you didn’t catch it the first time!!!) the other co-owner of the facility in my blog last week, she’d lined up a pretty impressive forfeit for me.
So twenty minutes later, a very embarrassed Revellinho entered the pool sporting speedo swimming trunks/thong, arm bands and a rubber duck ring around my waist to the whole of Rochford who had assembled to watch.
You may laugh at this point but I’m glad I did wear them because the second part of my punishment (the session that followed) nearly had me swimming depths rather than lengths.
Needless to say I won’t be forgetting minor (which are now major!) details moving forward, so thanks again GILL for everything!
On the field, the lads have put a fantastic run of form together, and there’s a buzz around the place which had previously been missing, and we’re still hanging on to the Play Off dream.
I thought Saturday’s performance against Walsall was very disciplined and whilst it is always hard to break down teams when they go down to ten men because they literally put everyone behind the ball, I thought we showed great professionalism to continue to sensibly attack them until we got the goal, and it was all ours from then on. Likewise the Brighton result was also impressive as they had a new manager, and teams always seem to raise their game in this case, so to come away with another three points is pleasing.
I’d like to make a special mention for both The Oracle (Kevin Betsy) and Lee Barnard who both scored their first goals in a while recently. They are both huge players for us, and if you saw their ability in training you’d realise how important confidence plays in their game, and now they’ve both hit the back of the net I think we’ll see some quality performances from them in the season run in.
They are both fantastic professionals as neither of them has spoken about their finishes or texted or phoned me since the game, unlike a certain Irishman!!
And then there was Barrett…….
Fresh from his ‘you could make a handbag out of Alex Revell’s skin’ comments last week, the feud is well and truly back on. Although I’d rather have a handbag made of fine Revell leather, as apposed to the shiny plastic handbag you’d get off an Adam Barrett forehead sample!
I had to laugh last week when I arrived into the training ground last week. It was the day where it was sunny outside but was still about 3 degrees in temperature and as I entered the car park I saw Captain Barrett putting sun block on to his face to stop his pale self getting burned – incredible! When he finally arrived in the changing rooms I thought we were about to be subjected to a performance from one of those French mime artists!!!
I realised last week that I forgot to put the latest look-a-like results up, so here you go for those that have been eagerly awaiting it:
Swampy = Simon Francis
Big Bird from Sesame Street = Steve Mildenhall
Benjamin Button = Jack Morris from the youth team
Speaking of which I’ve taken the Board to a new level, using photoshop to cut out heads and put them on to their look-a-like’s body. Problem is its been taking me hours as when I ‘froogled’ Mr Burns and porcelain dolls for Lee Barnard, I was given about 2.5 millions pictures to choose from! (note to Adam Barrett, photoshop is on computing level 5 course which you won’t reach till 2012!)
Just before I get to the ‘Dish of the Week’ I was pleased to see that even the best chefs (Heston Blumenthal in particular) have episodes where they’ve accidentally poisoned somebody, as happened to me the day before Valentine’s Day.
I was cooking some frozen shell fish (as per instructions I’d like to add!) the night before the most romantic day of the year, and managed to give the missus and myself food poisoning from it. Saying this, we didn’t let it ruin the big day itself as there was lots of hugging going on, only problem was it was with the toilet seat and not each other, as we took it in turns to be sick throughout the day – and who said romance was dead!!
With this in mind, to show I have fully redeemed myself, here’s my Dish of the Week, as cooked by me last night:
‘Smoked Cod lasagne’ - Cook in same way as normal lasagne, just use cod instead of mince (just make sure the fish is cooked thoroughly before serving!!!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
Although you are told not to get your hopes up, it’s very hard not too, especially when it would have been the first major sign that all my hard work is paying off.
In short, the specialist said my wound has healed at one end but not the other, thus meaning I’ve got to keep my moon boot on for a further four weeks, and continue with the same training programme I’ve been following to date.
Obviously I was gutted coming out of there and too be honest was feeling a little sorry for myself, and then I saw something which shocked me and changed everything. Basically I saw people collecting for the ‘Help for Hero’s’ campaign, and after seeing and hearing of some of the horrific and life changing injuries some of our soldiers have endured really rammed home how fortunate I am in comparison knowing that I’ll be able to walk again, no matter how long it takes to do so. Needless to say, I made a donation and would urge anyone else to do so if they get the chance.
Saying this, if I thought everyone would go easy on me after hearing the news on my set back then I couldn’t have been further from the truth as I returned to the Swim Well pool for my next session.
I was in for a nasty surprise.
After forgetting to mention GILL (that’s Gill if you didn’t catch it the first time!!!) the other co-owner of the facility in my blog last week, she’d lined up a pretty impressive forfeit for me.
So twenty minutes later, a very embarrassed Revellinho entered the pool sporting speedo swimming trunks/thong, arm bands and a rubber duck ring around my waist to the whole of Rochford who had assembled to watch.
You may laugh at this point but I’m glad I did wear them because the second part of my punishment (the session that followed) nearly had me swimming depths rather than lengths.
Needless to say I won’t be forgetting minor (which are now major!) details moving forward, so thanks again GILL for everything!
On the field, the lads have put a fantastic run of form together, and there’s a buzz around the place which had previously been missing, and we’re still hanging on to the Play Off dream.
I thought Saturday’s performance against Walsall was very disciplined and whilst it is always hard to break down teams when they go down to ten men because they literally put everyone behind the ball, I thought we showed great professionalism to continue to sensibly attack them until we got the goal, and it was all ours from then on. Likewise the Brighton result was also impressive as they had a new manager, and teams always seem to raise their game in this case, so to come away with another three points is pleasing.
I’d like to make a special mention for both The Oracle (Kevin Betsy) and Lee Barnard who both scored their first goals in a while recently. They are both huge players for us, and if you saw their ability in training you’d realise how important confidence plays in their game, and now they’ve both hit the back of the net I think we’ll see some quality performances from them in the season run in.
They are both fantastic professionals as neither of them has spoken about their finishes or texted or phoned me since the game, unlike a certain Irishman!!
And then there was Barrett…….
Fresh from his ‘you could make a handbag out of Alex Revell’s skin’ comments last week, the feud is well and truly back on. Although I’d rather have a handbag made of fine Revell leather, as apposed to the shiny plastic handbag you’d get off an Adam Barrett forehead sample!
I had to laugh last week when I arrived into the training ground last week. It was the day where it was sunny outside but was still about 3 degrees in temperature and as I entered the car park I saw Captain Barrett putting sun block on to his face to stop his pale self getting burned – incredible! When he finally arrived in the changing rooms I thought we were about to be subjected to a performance from one of those French mime artists!!!
I realised last week that I forgot to put the latest look-a-like results up, so here you go for those that have been eagerly awaiting it:
Swampy = Simon Francis
Big Bird from Sesame Street = Steve Mildenhall
Benjamin Button = Jack Morris from the youth team
Speaking of which I’ve taken the Board to a new level, using photoshop to cut out heads and put them on to their look-a-like’s body. Problem is its been taking me hours as when I ‘froogled’ Mr Burns and porcelain dolls for Lee Barnard, I was given about 2.5 millions pictures to choose from! (note to Adam Barrett, photoshop is on computing level 5 course which you won’t reach till 2012!)
Just before I get to the ‘Dish of the Week’ I was pleased to see that even the best chefs (Heston Blumenthal in particular) have episodes where they’ve accidentally poisoned somebody, as happened to me the day before Valentine’s Day.
I was cooking some frozen shell fish (as per instructions I’d like to add!) the night before the most romantic day of the year, and managed to give the missus and myself food poisoning from it. Saying this, we didn’t let it ruin the big day itself as there was lots of hugging going on, only problem was it was with the toilet seat and not each other, as we took it in turns to be sick throughout the day – and who said romance was dead!!
With this in mind, to show I have fully redeemed myself, here’s my Dish of the Week, as cooked by me last night:
‘Smoked Cod lasagne’ - Cook in same way as normal lasagne, just use cod instead of mince (just make sure the fish is cooked thoroughly before serving!!!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
BrettieAngell
THE ROCK GOD
what a legend!!
Jedi Shrimper
formerly Drastic™
Brilliant post by the Revster this week.
mattytheshrimper
Members
it sure makes it an interesting read unlike some other blogs going around, top bloke
Pubey
Guest
Revelling In It
Revelling In It
It’s funny, as soon as the sun comes out there’s two things that we (I say we but it might just be me!) do here in Britain. Firstly, we presume that the summer is here despite it being months away and secondly, we forget that it’s still minus degrees outside.
I ribbed Captain Barrett about it last week but I’m ashamed to admit that I fell into the trap this week as I visited my local swimming baths, and more importantly it’s outside pool, for the first time in the year.
Being the brave man that I am, I got changed, ran to the pool (despite the sign telling me not to!) and dived straight in. It was only when I surfaced afterwards and saw two penguins on the side, and an Eskimo fishing that I began to regret my decision!!
Needless to say I didn’t train very long that day!
In all seriousness my training is going as well as can be expected and I’ve got everything crossed ready for when I see the specialist next. I’ve been working as hard as possible and know this’ll continue until the end of May where hopefully I’ll see the rewards ready for my honeymoon in June, after which I should be able to come back ready for a normal football training regime as apposed to the Olympic swimming regime I’m currently on!
The good news is that there’s still a chance I won’t be training on my own throughout the month of May as the Play Off’s are still within our sights, even despite last nights set-back.
Some of you may have chuckled only a few weeks ago when I didn’t rule us out, but it just goes to show that optimism can get you a long way at this Club. The lads have seriously buckled down and done magnificently over the last few weeks, coupled with a bit of luck which we’ve finally received for all the terrible decisions earlier in the season.
We’ve talked amongst ourselves at length about our season so far, and we all agreed that our supporters deserved better, and we still have a great opportunity to get something out of our season and make you ultimately proud of us.
It is also no coincidence that since the emergence of the look-a-like board (which was my idea by the way) that results have improved. The board has no new additions this week, mainly due to the fact I’ve still got to minimise all of Lee Barnard’s pictures. I’d also set aside time to do some for Clark Masters but after his actions last week (I’ll come to this in a bit) I’m physically scared to do so!
Obviously the odds on us reaching the Play Offs are better than they have been in a while, but no matter how short they get they’ll still be a better tip than the one I received last week for the Cheltenham festival.
I can’t tell you who gave me the tip or what horse it was for apart from the fact they worked for a well know horse racing associated channel, and think I must have misheard him on the phone as I think he said that ‘the chosen horse was handicapped so don’t bet on it’ as apposed to ‘he’s racing in a handicap so definately bet on it’ which I heard!
Needless to say when a three legged Shetland pony emerged from the starting gates, I didn’t fancy my chances much – and tore up my £30 betting slip!
There’s a new enemy in the camp, and he goes by the name of Lee Barnard!
Last Sunday I received a phone call from Lee during which I couldn’t help noticing that he was being a bit ‘overly nice’ with me. And then it came out…..
Lee had just done his ‘worst interview’ for the Sun newspaper, when a footballer is asked which of his teammates has the worst....', and for the ‘worst car at the Club’ he has chosen my lovely Kia 4 x4.
Now the Kia comes in for a bit of stick sometimes but any car where the manufacturers send you a certificate when you go over 65 miles an hour is good with me!
Needless to say ‘watch this space’ Lee Barnard, you’ll get yours!
And then there was Clark….
Clark was fortunate to take part in one of his first overnight trips with the first team last week, and anyone who knows Clark knows he is quite an easy chap to wind up.
In short, Clark was rooming with Lee Barnard (who was in on the gag) last Friday in Hereford, and Captain Barrett, Alan McCormack and Simon Francis thought it hilarious to don scary masks similar to those in the film the Strangers (Google it for more info) and wait outside Clark’s hotel room. Then Adam would make tapping noises over a short period of time to get Clark's attention and after a while Clark drew the curtains to see three masked ‘monsters’ directly outside his room.
Most people would have run for a mile but no not Clark – instead of running he tried to punch them, only he forgot that the window wasn’t open! Needless to say he punched the window, smashing it everywhere and covering the lads outside! Luckily no one was hurt at all, but I’m told it took them three hours to get the shards of glass out of Franno’s beard (no problem for Captain Barrett though!!!)!
So now everyone is too scared to even look at Clark and he still hasn’t seen the funny side of it!
I’ve gone for a simple option for Dish of the Week this time, but think you’ll agree it’s a decent choice.
‘Cajun chicken jacket potato’ – just make sure you bake the potato and don’t cheat by microwaving it all!!
Finally, I’d like to go public on my intention to sue Carlos Tevez (everyone else seems to be doing it so I might as well) and have such joined the queue.
The other year I put a bet on Sheffield Utd to stay in the Premiership, and obviously lost out when they went down. With recent developments I feel that I am entitled to something so I am officially suing Carlos Tevez for my £1 stake back, my £6 worth of winnings, and my legal fees!
I spoken to my legal aid about this (Kevin Betsy) and he said that amongst his literacy delights he wrote ‘A Dummies Guide to Criminal Justice’ and thinks I have a stone wall case, plus, he used his other hat as the Oracle and foresaw us winning the case come hearing time in July!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
Revelling In It
It’s funny, as soon as the sun comes out there’s two things that we (I say we but it might just be me!) do here in Britain. Firstly, we presume that the summer is here despite it being months away and secondly, we forget that it’s still minus degrees outside.
I ribbed Captain Barrett about it last week but I’m ashamed to admit that I fell into the trap this week as I visited my local swimming baths, and more importantly it’s outside pool, for the first time in the year.
Being the brave man that I am, I got changed, ran to the pool (despite the sign telling me not to!) and dived straight in. It was only when I surfaced afterwards and saw two penguins on the side, and an Eskimo fishing that I began to regret my decision!!
Needless to say I didn’t train very long that day!
In all seriousness my training is going as well as can be expected and I’ve got everything crossed ready for when I see the specialist next. I’ve been working as hard as possible and know this’ll continue until the end of May where hopefully I’ll see the rewards ready for my honeymoon in June, after which I should be able to come back ready for a normal football training regime as apposed to the Olympic swimming regime I’m currently on!
The good news is that there’s still a chance I won’t be training on my own throughout the month of May as the Play Off’s are still within our sights, even despite last nights set-back.
Some of you may have chuckled only a few weeks ago when I didn’t rule us out, but it just goes to show that optimism can get you a long way at this Club. The lads have seriously buckled down and done magnificently over the last few weeks, coupled with a bit of luck which we’ve finally received for all the terrible decisions earlier in the season.
We’ve talked amongst ourselves at length about our season so far, and we all agreed that our supporters deserved better, and we still have a great opportunity to get something out of our season and make you ultimately proud of us.
It is also no coincidence that since the emergence of the look-a-like board (which was my idea by the way) that results have improved. The board has no new additions this week, mainly due to the fact I’ve still got to minimise all of Lee Barnard’s pictures. I’d also set aside time to do some for Clark Masters but after his actions last week (I’ll come to this in a bit) I’m physically scared to do so!
Obviously the odds on us reaching the Play Offs are better than they have been in a while, but no matter how short they get they’ll still be a better tip than the one I received last week for the Cheltenham festival.
I can’t tell you who gave me the tip or what horse it was for apart from the fact they worked for a well know horse racing associated channel, and think I must have misheard him on the phone as I think he said that ‘the chosen horse was handicapped so don’t bet on it’ as apposed to ‘he’s racing in a handicap so definately bet on it’ which I heard!
Needless to say when a three legged Shetland pony emerged from the starting gates, I didn’t fancy my chances much – and tore up my £30 betting slip!
There’s a new enemy in the camp, and he goes by the name of Lee Barnard!
Last Sunday I received a phone call from Lee during which I couldn’t help noticing that he was being a bit ‘overly nice’ with me. And then it came out…..
Lee had just done his ‘worst interview’ for the Sun newspaper, when a footballer is asked which of his teammates has the worst....', and for the ‘worst car at the Club’ he has chosen my lovely Kia 4 x4.
Now the Kia comes in for a bit of stick sometimes but any car where the manufacturers send you a certificate when you go over 65 miles an hour is good with me!
Needless to say ‘watch this space’ Lee Barnard, you’ll get yours!
And then there was Clark….
Clark was fortunate to take part in one of his first overnight trips with the first team last week, and anyone who knows Clark knows he is quite an easy chap to wind up.
In short, Clark was rooming with Lee Barnard (who was in on the gag) last Friday in Hereford, and Captain Barrett, Alan McCormack and Simon Francis thought it hilarious to don scary masks similar to those in the film the Strangers (Google it for more info) and wait outside Clark’s hotel room. Then Adam would make tapping noises over a short period of time to get Clark's attention and after a while Clark drew the curtains to see three masked ‘monsters’ directly outside his room.
Most people would have run for a mile but no not Clark – instead of running he tried to punch them, only he forgot that the window wasn’t open! Needless to say he punched the window, smashing it everywhere and covering the lads outside! Luckily no one was hurt at all, but I’m told it took them three hours to get the shards of glass out of Franno’s beard (no problem for Captain Barrett though!!!)!
So now everyone is too scared to even look at Clark and he still hasn’t seen the funny side of it!
I’ve gone for a simple option for Dish of the Week this time, but think you’ll agree it’s a decent choice.
‘Cajun chicken jacket potato’ – just make sure you bake the potato and don’t cheat by microwaving it all!!
Finally, I’d like to go public on my intention to sue Carlos Tevez (everyone else seems to be doing it so I might as well) and have such joined the queue.
The other year I put a bet on Sheffield Utd to stay in the Premiership, and obviously lost out when they went down. With recent developments I feel that I am entitled to something so I am officially suing Carlos Tevez for my £1 stake back, my £6 worth of winnings, and my legal fees!
I spoken to my legal aid about this (Kevin Betsy) and he said that amongst his literacy delights he wrote ‘A Dummies Guide to Criminal Justice’ and thinks I have a stone wall case, plus, he used his other hat as the Oracle and foresaw us winning the case come hearing time in July!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
palexander
Life President
Ha! ha! That is my favourite yet!
Masters punching the window would have gone down well if he'd broke something (other than the glass) and the bit about Tevez has me laughing still now.
Cannot wait to see him pull on a Southend shirt again in August!
Masters punching the window would have gone down well if he'd broke something (other than the glass) and the bit about Tevez has me laughing still now.
Cannot wait to see him pull on a Southend shirt again in August!
Revs needs to sue Wet Sham (and the EPL), not Tevez.
I suggest the board's legal community group together and take this case on pro bono.
I suggest the board's legal community group together and take this case on pro bono.
BoyWonder2
2024, the year of the Shrimpers 🍤 ⭐
That has to be one of his best yet.
Jay_Shrimper
Mummy's Little Soldier
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2007
- Messages
- 2,643
That bloke is a genius.
Love his blog, long may they continue.
Loved the bit about Tevez, pure genius.
Love his blog, long may they continue.
Loved the bit about Tevez, pure genius.
Wickford Blue
Coach
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2003
- Messages
- 993
This guy is far too clever to be a footballer......must be pushing towards legend status at the club!!
Interpol Shrimper
Member
Definitely Revs best piece so far!
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