Jedi Shrimper
formerly Drastic™
At least we now know Clark Masters will always try to punch rather than get in a flap.
-
Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.
Existing Users:.
Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.
New Users:
Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.
Fans from other clubs
We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.
Assistance Required
For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.
Zone Update Revelling In It...
Ayrshire Blue
The Custard Splat
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2008
- Messages
- 17,492
I don’t know what the reason is but over the last few days, things haven’t seemed right at the training ground. What I mean by this is that people are on edge in there around me, not even Bev the chef has acknowledged my contribution to the SUFC banter.
However, I do have a mole on the inside who informs me that everyone is weary of receiving a ‘Rev’s slating’ in my column, so everyone has chosen to blank me at the moment.
I’ve also received no comeuppance from either Barney or Captain Barrett about my comments last week, so I can only think they’re plotting something against me.
What they don’t realise though is that during my time in the bunker whilst escaping Macca the other week I read up of identifying threats and dangerous situations, as well as the art of mortal combat thus leaving me more than ready to defend myself should they try something!
It was nice to see that Lee Barnard has learned to take a penalty properly, and it’s safe to say that Saturday’s winner against Huddersfield was a little better struck than the previous one against Hartlepool!
Saturday was a very good result for us up there and again; they are a team who can beat anyone on their day so yet another impressive achievement by the lads.
Personally I think that come next Monday evening we will know for sure where we stand in view to our Play Off push. It’s simply a case that we may run out of matches in the end but no matter what, to have put this run of form together has been an incredible achievement by the lads and it’s just a shame that it may come down to two or three games that we should have won, but then that’s football.
All we can do is focus on what we can control and that’s winning as many matches as possible. Then we hope that Scunthorpe begin to drop points and with the disappointment of losing to Luton last week who’s to say this can’t happen. Personally I feel we need to win every remaining game to secure a Play Off place this season and the lads’ confidence is so high that this is not an unrealistic task by any means.
At the end of the season, without stating the obvious too much but whichever team is in the Play Off positions will have deserved it and I just hope that we will have done enough to deserve it by then.
You just never know what can happen but rest assured that all this effort won’t have been in vain because either way, we’ll be going into next season full of confidence, where hopefully we can start and prolong this form more over the whole of the season in comparisons to the pockets of form we showed in the early periods of this one.
Yes, we’ll be disappointed if we don’t make Play Offs because this was our minimum goal for this season, and yes it will ruin our summer somewhat but it will only build to make us more determined next year where I’m positive will be challenging again.
Away from this, due to the hard work which lies ahead of me, Stanners (John Stannard, Club Physio) gave me a few days off last week, and I made the most of it by going to France with the missus and her family.
Having three French teammates and listening to them harp on about how beautiful Southern France is had me a bit sceptical but I have to say that they weren’t wrong, it really was nice and I was pleasantly surprised.
What didn’t surprise me though was Jeff’s (Jean Francois Christophe) recent comments about his overhead kick being the talk of France, with reruns still being shown on Canal + being lies.
Unsurprisingly this claim turned out to be false, and when I showed people a photo I’d brought with me to see if it would jog any memories, most people questioned why I was carrying around a photo of Sonny from I, Robot instead of a professional footballer!
But Dorian Dervite is a legend out there and was regularly compared to as the new Jean Alain Boumsong!
Speaking of Dorian, someone emailed in and asked me the question that if we could sign any player permanently who had played here on loan who would it be, and I’d have to say that Dorian has made the biggest impact in my opinion.
For the record I think all of our loan signings have been great assets to us (even ASBO Sawyer who has led to new lockers being installed at Boots and Laces!!) but think that Dorian has made the biggest impact, including turning Adam Barrett into a wannabe Roberto Carlos!
The same person also asked me that if we could sign any player from this division who we’ve played this season who would I pick, and for this I’d have to go for George Boyd at Peterborough. It’d be easy to go for Rickie Lambert or Matty Fryatt but I feel that George is a match winner for both assists and goals which is why I’d choose him.
Finally here’s my Dish of the Week, which by the way I’m still sticking to the claim that last weeks was a decent Dish despite the slating I got for it:
‘Fresh tuna steak with homemade tomato salsa, served with steamed veg and gnocchi (or boiled potatoes if you’d prefer!)
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
However, I do have a mole on the inside who informs me that everyone is weary of receiving a ‘Rev’s slating’ in my column, so everyone has chosen to blank me at the moment.
I’ve also received no comeuppance from either Barney or Captain Barrett about my comments last week, so I can only think they’re plotting something against me.
What they don’t realise though is that during my time in the bunker whilst escaping Macca the other week I read up of identifying threats and dangerous situations, as well as the art of mortal combat thus leaving me more than ready to defend myself should they try something!
It was nice to see that Lee Barnard has learned to take a penalty properly, and it’s safe to say that Saturday’s winner against Huddersfield was a little better struck than the previous one against Hartlepool!
Saturday was a very good result for us up there and again; they are a team who can beat anyone on their day so yet another impressive achievement by the lads.
Personally I think that come next Monday evening we will know for sure where we stand in view to our Play Off push. It’s simply a case that we may run out of matches in the end but no matter what, to have put this run of form together has been an incredible achievement by the lads and it’s just a shame that it may come down to two or three games that we should have won, but then that’s football.
All we can do is focus on what we can control and that’s winning as many matches as possible. Then we hope that Scunthorpe begin to drop points and with the disappointment of losing to Luton last week who’s to say this can’t happen. Personally I feel we need to win every remaining game to secure a Play Off place this season and the lads’ confidence is so high that this is not an unrealistic task by any means.
At the end of the season, without stating the obvious too much but whichever team is in the Play Off positions will have deserved it and I just hope that we will have done enough to deserve it by then.
You just never know what can happen but rest assured that all this effort won’t have been in vain because either way, we’ll be going into next season full of confidence, where hopefully we can start and prolong this form more over the whole of the season in comparisons to the pockets of form we showed in the early periods of this one.
Yes, we’ll be disappointed if we don’t make Play Offs because this was our minimum goal for this season, and yes it will ruin our summer somewhat but it will only build to make us more determined next year where I’m positive will be challenging again.
Away from this, due to the hard work which lies ahead of me, Stanners (John Stannard, Club Physio) gave me a few days off last week, and I made the most of it by going to France with the missus and her family.
Having three French teammates and listening to them harp on about how beautiful Southern France is had me a bit sceptical but I have to say that they weren’t wrong, it really was nice and I was pleasantly surprised.
What didn’t surprise me though was Jeff’s (Jean Francois Christophe) recent comments about his overhead kick being the talk of France, with reruns still being shown on Canal + being lies.
Unsurprisingly this claim turned out to be false, and when I showed people a photo I’d brought with me to see if it would jog any memories, most people questioned why I was carrying around a photo of Sonny from I, Robot instead of a professional footballer!
But Dorian Dervite is a legend out there and was regularly compared to as the new Jean Alain Boumsong!
Speaking of Dorian, someone emailed in and asked me the question that if we could sign any player permanently who had played here on loan who would it be, and I’d have to say that Dorian has made the biggest impact in my opinion.
For the record I think all of our loan signings have been great assets to us (even ASBO Sawyer who has led to new lockers being installed at Boots and Laces!!) but think that Dorian has made the biggest impact, including turning Adam Barrett into a wannabe Roberto Carlos!
The same person also asked me that if we could sign any player from this division who we’ve played this season who would I pick, and for this I’d have to go for George Boyd at Peterborough. It’d be easy to go for Rickie Lambert or Matty Fryatt but I feel that George is a match winner for both assists and goals which is why I’d choose him.
Finally here’s my Dish of the Week, which by the way I’m still sticking to the claim that last weeks was a decent Dish despite the slating I got for it:
‘Fresh tuna steak with homemade tomato salsa, served with steamed veg and gnocchi (or boiled potatoes if you’d prefer!)
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
EastStandBlue
Life President
- Joined
- May 29, 2005
- Messages
- 15,519
Latest offering from Revs, and one of the best.
I've highlighted that last bit, because it was Me who supplied the artwork in question.
Pubey
Guest
funniest one yet! superb... and great pic ESB!
OldBlueLady
Junior Blues Coordinator⭐⭐
You put your front hoof in.....
Revelling In It
To begin the blog I have to tell you about an email the Club received on my behalf last week, and it couldn’t have come at a better time!
As you are aware, newly crowned ‘goalscoring’ midfielder Alan McCormack likes to talk about his strikes and is adamant he has one of the best strikes per goal ratio’s within the Club. We all beg to differ, but without having to go to the stats sheets we were given a helping hand by a supporter.
The gentleman who wrote in lives in the flats behind the South Stand and enjoys nothing more than looking out of his window to catch a glimpse of Southend United playing on a Saturday afternoon. The only problem is that his flat is prone to the odd wayward shot which I’m ashamed to say usually comes from our players!
What transpires is that he has witnessed not one, not two, but three occasions when a wayward Alan McCormack shot has hit his window! Not only this, one time it cracked his window so much it had to be replaced! I’d like to see the block of flats’ agenda for its residential meeting….agenda item one, Alan McCormack shot/costings update!
Enjoy your goal bonuses Macca, although I get the feeling you’ll be getting an invoice in the post shortly!!
You’ll also be pleased to hear despite being snipered during Saturday’s game (probably from the bloke in the flats aiming for Macca!) Anthony Grant pulled through, although he is nursing a nasty wound to the head which is all of one centimetre long. After a drawn out surgical procedure which went deep into the night (putting a plaster on it) he is back to normal. Apparently Granty has had this big of an injury since he cut himself shaving a few years ago and had to go to accident and emergency!
And this leads me on to me and my Trojan horse tales where, in short, my cover has been blown.
This morning whilst taking up position in the canteen, I witnessed Anthony come in and sit at the tables ready for his slices of toast (or should I say slice!). At this point he picked up the Oldham match report and began flicking through it. What was in the beginning quite slow flicking (there are lots of pictures in the front pages) then sped up as he realised the number of pictures were decreasing. Fearing a paper cut and the resulting trip to the hospital I knew something had to be done. Being the team player that I am, and as no one was around to assist, I jumped out of the horse and rugby tackled him away to safety just in time.
At time of writing I think everyone is still in shock at how I deceived them, but I’ll let you know more next week about my acceptance, once the dust settles.
In my time in the horse, I did manage to witness Kevin Betsy run a training session as part of his work towards his UEFA A coaching licence. Whilst I’ve no doubt the lads enjoyed the drill I have to admit that I felt cuppy doubles for four hours was a little excessive, especially when Parms (the kit man) kept trying to join in and was told he couldn’t as he wasn’t actually a player, despite the rumours he’s been spreading that he is!!
On the field, I think Saturday’s match against Leicester just showed how tight this division is. What I saw were two very evenly matched teams competing, with one team taking their chances and not the other. Unfortunately this mirrored the MK Dons performance and whilst it makes the Play Off dream look unlikely it was encouraging to see that we more than matched the League winners and we’ll certainly take heart from this going into next season if we don’t manage to squeeze into the top six this time around.
We know our form over last few months has been one of the best in the country and we’re confident we can continue this from the beginning of next season, and despite not writing off this one yet, the lads are already buzzing at the prospect of the next campaign- a feeling which is usually felt in pre-season.
Personally things are going alright for me at the moment and I’m able to do a little bit of work with the football which is what I’ve been looking forward to doing since I began my rehab, and I must say a big thank you to the physio crew at the Club who have helped me through so far.
I’m also able to lift more weight than I have so far, although I’m not up to Rocky standards yet, more like Apollo Creed prior to his fight with Ivan Drago, and we all know how that ended!!
For this weeks Dish of the Week we are sticking with the summer theme:
‘Tuna Nicoise Salad’ – Revs’ tip, add some lemon juice, it’ll give it a bit of a kick!
Finally, I’d also like to say a big thank you to all of those who have renewed your season tickets for next season. We’ll be the first to admit that it’s been an up and down at times but I hope that in recent months we’ve shown what we are all about which has also tied in to the support we’ve received from you guys.
I know I go on a lot about how important our support has been at games but it is immense here at Southend and it means an awful lot to me and the lads. We know we have let you down in certain areas this season and I promise you that we’ll be doing everything we can next season to make sure we don’t fall short again.
With a good pre-season and a few new signings we’ll be in a great position to challenge and I just hope we’ve done enough to count on your support again.
Take care, and I’ll see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
Revelling In It
To begin the blog I have to tell you about an email the Club received on my behalf last week, and it couldn’t have come at a better time!
As you are aware, newly crowned ‘goalscoring’ midfielder Alan McCormack likes to talk about his strikes and is adamant he has one of the best strikes per goal ratio’s within the Club. We all beg to differ, but without having to go to the stats sheets we were given a helping hand by a supporter.
The gentleman who wrote in lives in the flats behind the South Stand and enjoys nothing more than looking out of his window to catch a glimpse of Southend United playing on a Saturday afternoon. The only problem is that his flat is prone to the odd wayward shot which I’m ashamed to say usually comes from our players!
What transpires is that he has witnessed not one, not two, but three occasions when a wayward Alan McCormack shot has hit his window! Not only this, one time it cracked his window so much it had to be replaced! I’d like to see the block of flats’ agenda for its residential meeting….agenda item one, Alan McCormack shot/costings update!
Enjoy your goal bonuses Macca, although I get the feeling you’ll be getting an invoice in the post shortly!!
You’ll also be pleased to hear despite being snipered during Saturday’s game (probably from the bloke in the flats aiming for Macca!) Anthony Grant pulled through, although he is nursing a nasty wound to the head which is all of one centimetre long. After a drawn out surgical procedure which went deep into the night (putting a plaster on it) he is back to normal. Apparently Granty has had this big of an injury since he cut himself shaving a few years ago and had to go to accident and emergency!
And this leads me on to me and my Trojan horse tales where, in short, my cover has been blown.
This morning whilst taking up position in the canteen, I witnessed Anthony come in and sit at the tables ready for his slices of toast (or should I say slice!). At this point he picked up the Oldham match report and began flicking through it. What was in the beginning quite slow flicking (there are lots of pictures in the front pages) then sped up as he realised the number of pictures were decreasing. Fearing a paper cut and the resulting trip to the hospital I knew something had to be done. Being the team player that I am, and as no one was around to assist, I jumped out of the horse and rugby tackled him away to safety just in time.
At time of writing I think everyone is still in shock at how I deceived them, but I’ll let you know more next week about my acceptance, once the dust settles.
In my time in the horse, I did manage to witness Kevin Betsy run a training session as part of his work towards his UEFA A coaching licence. Whilst I’ve no doubt the lads enjoyed the drill I have to admit that I felt cuppy doubles for four hours was a little excessive, especially when Parms (the kit man) kept trying to join in and was told he couldn’t as he wasn’t actually a player, despite the rumours he’s been spreading that he is!!
On the field, I think Saturday’s match against Leicester just showed how tight this division is. What I saw were two very evenly matched teams competing, with one team taking their chances and not the other. Unfortunately this mirrored the MK Dons performance and whilst it makes the Play Off dream look unlikely it was encouraging to see that we more than matched the League winners and we’ll certainly take heart from this going into next season if we don’t manage to squeeze into the top six this time around.
We know our form over last few months has been one of the best in the country and we’re confident we can continue this from the beginning of next season, and despite not writing off this one yet, the lads are already buzzing at the prospect of the next campaign- a feeling which is usually felt in pre-season.
Personally things are going alright for me at the moment and I’m able to do a little bit of work with the football which is what I’ve been looking forward to doing since I began my rehab, and I must say a big thank you to the physio crew at the Club who have helped me through so far.
I’m also able to lift more weight than I have so far, although I’m not up to Rocky standards yet, more like Apollo Creed prior to his fight with Ivan Drago, and we all know how that ended!!
For this weeks Dish of the Week we are sticking with the summer theme:
‘Tuna Nicoise Salad’ – Revs’ tip, add some lemon juice, it’ll give it a bit of a kick!
Finally, I’d also like to say a big thank you to all of those who have renewed your season tickets for next season. We’ll be the first to admit that it’s been an up and down at times but I hope that in recent months we’ve shown what we are all about which has also tied in to the support we’ve received from you guys.
I know I go on a lot about how important our support has been at games but it is immense here at Southend and it means an awful lot to me and the lads. We know we have let you down in certain areas this season and I promise you that we’ll be doing everything we can next season to make sure we don’t fall short again.
With a good pre-season and a few new signings we’ll be in a great position to challenge and I just hope we’ve done enough to count on your support again.
Take care, and I’ll see you all soon.
Up the Blues!
Revs
"With food on the mind, I managed to see a copy of the fanzine ‘All At Sea’ at the MK Dons game, where in it there was a picture of everyone eating with me serving them as Head Chef, and I’d just like to say thanks to the person who did that, made me chuckle"It was me that showed him it, he loved it and thanked me for letting him borrow my fanzine, getting mentioned in his blog made my week!!!
Ayrshire Blue
The Custard Splat
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2008
- Messages
- 17,492
Last one of the season
As the season draws to a close many players begin to wonder what awards might be coming their way. Despite being gutted on loosing out in the Football League awards, including that of being the best player outside the Premiership, I’m sure I’ll win one next season – especially if the Chairman of the League accepts my request for a ‘Best Blog’ category in next years awards!!
In all seriousness it’s always nice to get recognition as everyone appreciates this and the status it brings (see Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for all my student followers!!!) going into next season, and with this in mind I’ve created my own set of awards for this season.
Revellinho’s Season 08/09 Awards
Player Of The Year = Peter Clarke
Personally I feel that Peter deserves the award, especially for his performances since Christmas, with that goal against Chelsea helping him somewhat!
Young Player Of The Year = Johnny Herd
Johnny has looked calm and assured in every game he’s played since he came into the team and I think that his performances against Chelsea highlighted this. If he carries on progressing like he has he has got a bright future ahead of him.
Most Improved Player Of The Year = Steve Mildenhall
Anyone who wears a bright yellow goalkeeper kit and looks like Big Bird from Sesame Street is going to draw a lot of attention to themselves and Steve will be the first to admit it took him a bit of time to settle at the Club. Since the turn of the year though he’s been great, and well worthy of his new song!!!
Manager’s Player Of The Year = Adam Barrett
Adam’s always the first player out to training and is always the first person the gaffer turns to on the field so he’d win this hands down, plus he still hasn’t been forgiven for his actions in court earlier in the season!
Clubman Of The Year = Steve Parmenter
Steve is always on the gaffer’s side offering advice and has been available for every game this season. Slight problem is that despite the rumours, Steve isn’t actually a player!! He’s always the first name on the team sheet, the bottom of the team sheet under ‘Kit Man’ that is!
Most Likely To Make An Impact Next Year = Clark Masters
Most people won’t know a lot about Clark but he’s come on loads this season and like Johnny Herd, if he continues the progression he should feature more next season.
Lifetime Achievement Award = Alf Bilby
Alf deserves a lot of recognition for the work he’s put in this season, and throughout his time at the Club. He really is an unsung hero. Alf will do anything for anyone and for those who might not know who he is, if you ever visit Boots And Laces, he is the person fetching the balls while Parms is playing head tennis!!
And here’s some of the awards you wouldn’t find at a normally Football Club’s presentation night!!!
Worst Dressed Player At Southend = Jeff (Jean Francois Christophe) – it’s tragic!
Thickest Player = Jamie Forshaw/Clark Masters – I’ve never seen anything like them
Most Injured Player = The whole of our frontline!
Physio’s Best Friend = Lee ‘Porcelain’ Barnard – enough said!
Worst Tan (A category I’m expertly placed to judge) = Adam ‘Igloo’ Barrett
Most Unlikely To Visit Centre Parc’s Again – Adam ‘Slidehogger’ Barrett
Tightest Player = Steve Mildenhall/Clark Masters – must be a goalkeeper thing!
Most Balls Hit Over Fence At Training = Alan McCormack
Worst Goal Celebration = Me for the Call Of Duty one at Millwall
Most Serious Trainer = Alan McCormack
Worst Trainer = Peter Clarke!!!!
The Anthony Grant Award Section:
Most Malnourished Player = Anthony Grant (just ahead of Stuart O’Keefe!)
Worst Haircut = Anthony Grant (just ahead of Ian Joyce!)
Worst Banter = Anthony Grant
Worst Taste In Music = Anthony Grant
Worst Diet = Anthony Grant
Most Likely To Be Someone Else’s Fault = Anthony Grant
Most Likely To Win An Oscar For Diving Combined With Receiving The Worst Injury Ever Occurred In Football = Anthony Grant – his one centimetre long cut really was gruesome
On the field it is important that we finish as strongly as possible in order to go in to the new season looking to continue where we left off. With this in mind I think the lads looked a bit sluggish in first half of the Oldham game on Saturday but drastically improved after the break and it was good to see Barney score his eleventh goal of the season, not bad going considering it has been a very stop-start season for Lee. Making no excuses for the season we have had, I genuinely think we’d have contested a top two spot if we’d have had Lee and Dougie Freedman fit more.
We play Cheltenham on Saturday which on paper might look like there’s nothing at stake but we’ll be looking to finish as well as we can, as will Cheltenham, and the lads will be fired up to ensure we finish as high as possible.
Personally I was able to join in with the lads in training this week for some of the drills and this has cheered me up no end as again it’s a real sign that I’m on the way back. I’ve heard that the gaffer told them to go easy with the tackling on me but then that’s nothing new to our defenders, they’ve been told to do that with Barney since he arrived!!
With this being my final blog of the season I’d just like to thank everyone who has supported the lads and myself throughout this campaign, and we’ll be coming back determined not to fall short again next season.
We’ve had some fantastic support throughout the campaign and when everyone is behind us I know that it gives us a lift which is exactly what we’ll need come August time, and we promise not to let you down.
Here’s a special mention to all my regular readers. I hope I’ve been able to provide you with a bit of entertainment as well as an insight into what it is like to be a player at your Club. And if I’ve failed on both counts I hope I’ve broadened your culinary skills at least!!!
With this in mind and as we deserve a treat this week, we’re going to eat out:
‘Domino’s Mighty Meaty pizza (or Meat Feast if Domino’s don’t deliver to your area!)’ – as recommended by Granty although he can only manage a regular sized one so you might want to go large on my recommendation!
For the final time this season take care and I’ll see you all soon where I shall return as a married man (and yes Stringfellows is still booked!).
Up the Blues!
Revs
As the season draws to a close many players begin to wonder what awards might be coming their way. Despite being gutted on loosing out in the Football League awards, including that of being the best player outside the Premiership, I’m sure I’ll win one next season – especially if the Chairman of the League accepts my request for a ‘Best Blog’ category in next years awards!!
In all seriousness it’s always nice to get recognition as everyone appreciates this and the status it brings (see Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for all my student followers!!!) going into next season, and with this in mind I’ve created my own set of awards for this season.
Revellinho’s Season 08/09 Awards
Player Of The Year = Peter Clarke
Personally I feel that Peter deserves the award, especially for his performances since Christmas, with that goal against Chelsea helping him somewhat!
Young Player Of The Year = Johnny Herd
Johnny has looked calm and assured in every game he’s played since he came into the team and I think that his performances against Chelsea highlighted this. If he carries on progressing like he has he has got a bright future ahead of him.
Most Improved Player Of The Year = Steve Mildenhall
Anyone who wears a bright yellow goalkeeper kit and looks like Big Bird from Sesame Street is going to draw a lot of attention to themselves and Steve will be the first to admit it took him a bit of time to settle at the Club. Since the turn of the year though he’s been great, and well worthy of his new song!!!
Manager’s Player Of The Year = Adam Barrett
Adam’s always the first player out to training and is always the first person the gaffer turns to on the field so he’d win this hands down, plus he still hasn’t been forgiven for his actions in court earlier in the season!
Clubman Of The Year = Steve Parmenter
Steve is always on the gaffer’s side offering advice and has been available for every game this season. Slight problem is that despite the rumours, Steve isn’t actually a player!! He’s always the first name on the team sheet, the bottom of the team sheet under ‘Kit Man’ that is!
Most Likely To Make An Impact Next Year = Clark Masters
Most people won’t know a lot about Clark but he’s come on loads this season and like Johnny Herd, if he continues the progression he should feature more next season.
Lifetime Achievement Award = Alf Bilby
Alf deserves a lot of recognition for the work he’s put in this season, and throughout his time at the Club. He really is an unsung hero. Alf will do anything for anyone and for those who might not know who he is, if you ever visit Boots And Laces, he is the person fetching the balls while Parms is playing head tennis!!
And here’s some of the awards you wouldn’t find at a normally Football Club’s presentation night!!!
Worst Dressed Player At Southend = Jeff (Jean Francois Christophe) – it’s tragic!
Thickest Player = Jamie Forshaw/Clark Masters – I’ve never seen anything like them
Most Injured Player = The whole of our frontline!
Physio’s Best Friend = Lee ‘Porcelain’ Barnard – enough said!
Worst Tan (A category I’m expertly placed to judge) = Adam ‘Igloo’ Barrett
Most Unlikely To Visit Centre Parc’s Again – Adam ‘Slidehogger’ Barrett
Tightest Player = Steve Mildenhall/Clark Masters – must be a goalkeeper thing!
Most Balls Hit Over Fence At Training = Alan McCormack
Worst Goal Celebration = Me for the Call Of Duty one at Millwall
Most Serious Trainer = Alan McCormack
Worst Trainer = Peter Clarke!!!!
The Anthony Grant Award Section:
Most Malnourished Player = Anthony Grant (just ahead of Stuart O’Keefe!)
Worst Haircut = Anthony Grant (just ahead of Ian Joyce!)
Worst Banter = Anthony Grant
Worst Taste In Music = Anthony Grant
Worst Diet = Anthony Grant
Most Likely To Be Someone Else’s Fault = Anthony Grant
Most Likely To Win An Oscar For Diving Combined With Receiving The Worst Injury Ever Occurred In Football = Anthony Grant – his one centimetre long cut really was gruesome
On the field it is important that we finish as strongly as possible in order to go in to the new season looking to continue where we left off. With this in mind I think the lads looked a bit sluggish in first half of the Oldham game on Saturday but drastically improved after the break and it was good to see Barney score his eleventh goal of the season, not bad going considering it has been a very stop-start season for Lee. Making no excuses for the season we have had, I genuinely think we’d have contested a top two spot if we’d have had Lee and Dougie Freedman fit more.
We play Cheltenham on Saturday which on paper might look like there’s nothing at stake but we’ll be looking to finish as well as we can, as will Cheltenham, and the lads will be fired up to ensure we finish as high as possible.
Personally I was able to join in with the lads in training this week for some of the drills and this has cheered me up no end as again it’s a real sign that I’m on the way back. I’ve heard that the gaffer told them to go easy with the tackling on me but then that’s nothing new to our defenders, they’ve been told to do that with Barney since he arrived!!
With this being my final blog of the season I’d just like to thank everyone who has supported the lads and myself throughout this campaign, and we’ll be coming back determined not to fall short again next season.
We’ve had some fantastic support throughout the campaign and when everyone is behind us I know that it gives us a lift which is exactly what we’ll need come August time, and we promise not to let you down.
Here’s a special mention to all my regular readers. I hope I’ve been able to provide you with a bit of entertainment as well as an insight into what it is like to be a player at your Club. And if I’ve failed on both counts I hope I’ve broadened your culinary skills at least!!!
With this in mind and as we deserve a treat this week, we’re going to eat out:
‘Domino’s Mighty Meaty pizza (or Meat Feast if Domino’s don’t deliver to your area!)’ – as recommended by Granty although he can only manage a regular sized one so you might want to go large on my recommendation!
For the final time this season take care and I’ll see you all soon where I shall return as a married man (and yes Stringfellows is still booked!).
Up the Blues!
Revs
BILLERICAY BLUE
Rose Tinted Brigade Member⭐⭐
Interesting....Ayrshire Blue said:
Quality
Glad he's back training, love the comment about Barney
OldBlueLady
Junior Blues Coordinator⭐⭐
That makes for very funny reading, well done Revs! :D These have been something I've really looked forward to each week, well written, witty and genuine in tone. Definitely a career in writing beckons, I'd say!
ShrimperZone Sponsors
ShrimperZone - Player Sponsorship
Southend United Away Travel
All At Sea Fanzine
