Jedi Shrimper
formerly Drastic™
At least we now know Clark Masters will always try to punch rather than get in a flap.
Revelling In It
Yes, I’m still excluded from the lads’ Circle of Trust and whilst I’m sure Captain Barrett and co think they’ve got the better of me, I thought of something ingenious to get me back in to the Boots and Laces clique!
Towards the end of last week, any appearance I made in the players canteen was greeted by shuns by the lads as a wall of silence collated around me. So rather then grovel to the lads to let me back in I took inspiration from a well known film I’d seen and went about formulating my plan.
So two days later, the boy Revs’ plan was complete as I peered across and congratulated myself on the eight foot Trojan horse I’d just created, something only Geppetto could rival for wooden sculpturing excellence.
Then I climbed into the beast and DHL’d myself to Boots and Laces as a gift from Chairman Ron Martin to congratulate the lads on a job well done throughout the last few months.
As it was from the Chairman I knew none of the lads would question what it was, especially Simon Francis who despite describing himself as a younger and better looking Tony Robinson, knows nothing at all about history as his failure to recognise the link between the Queen and Prince Phillip proved last week.
Anyway, I did think my cover was blown as Betsy joked that it was me in person, but then I realised they were on about my resemblance to the horse itself and nothing more.
I was then positioned by the look-a-like board and through my expertly drilled eye holes (a slight modification to the Troy version I know!) I was able to witness all of the banter I’d previously been missing.
And this is what I saw:
Franno crying into his chicken curry after realising his dream of becoming a model for Abercrombie and Fitch was over after partially breaking his nose against MK Dons last Friday. This was only made worse when someone likened him to Iain Dowie crossed with Steve Bruce, as Simon became inconsolable.
Anthony Grant stocking up on food. Yes, thanks to Blues Insider it seems that Anthony Grant has finally started eating properly as I saw him have three slices of toast and beans in one meal! Saying this, no one has seen him since the MK Dons game so everyone’s a bit worried he’s gone into hibernation, and he was stocking up prior to it.
James Walker getting abused by youth team players. James has had a hard time of it recently. Not only is his six week lay-off been about three months, but after trying to take the mickey out of a youth team player last week, the person in question turned around and called him ‘gappy’ whilst pointing to the picture of Eddie Murphy on the wall. Soon after James and Franno were crying together in the corner.
On one of my rare outings outside the horse I was visiting the stadium on Tuesday, only to see goalkeeper Clark Masters selling t-shirts out of the boot of his Vauxhall Corsa at the Roots Hall market. Now come on Clark, I know the credit crunch has hit us all hard but trying to convince people that Yves Saint Francis Laurent is an addition to the YSL brand will take some work – far more Rodney than Del Boy!
On the field, obviously the lads were disappointed about Fridays defeat to MK Dons as we knew that realistically we had to win every game to stand a chance of securing that sixth place slot. This defeat was harder to swallow bearing in mind how much we dominated that game and I think they’ll be the first to admit they’ve got out of jail coming away from here with three points.
With this in mind though, they are up there for a reason. They’re a very well organised team who consistently take their chances and as I mentioned last week, any team which does this thoroughly deserves to be up there after 46 games for this reason.
We needed a big game against Northampton to recover and I thought the lads put in a tremendous performance and really should have won by more. It was encouraging to see Lee Barnard scoring regularly again, and player for player I feel we have as good of a team as anyone in this division once we are all playing well.
They’ll be no better match for this than against Leicester here on Saturday which is a very tasty tie for both teams.
From our point of view we’ll be giving it everything until it is mathematically impossible to reach the Play Off’s, whilst at the same time they’ll be looking to win here to secure the League title.
As a player it is a sickening feeling of the thought of someone winning the championship on your own ground especially when you feel that you should be challenging them for it, and rest assured we’ll be doing everything we can to stop them doing so here at Roots Hall.
The arrival of the sun in the Essex Riviera sparks the arrival of one thing, barbeque season, and with this in mind we’ll start Revs’ summer selection off with a belter:
‘Barbequed Ostrich burger, with haloumi cheese, salad and corn on the cob’
With food on the mind, I managed to see a copy of the fanzine ‘All At Sea’ at the MK Dons game, where in it there was a picture of everyone eating with me serving them as Head Chef, and I’d just like to say thanks to the person who did that, made me chuckle!
Take care, and hope to see you all soon.
Interesting....Ayrshire Blue said:Most Likely To Make An Impact Next Year = Clark Masters
Most people won’t know a lot about Clark but he’s come on loads this season and like Johnny Herd, if he continues the progression he should feature more next season.
QualityMost Likely To Win An Oscar For Diving Combined With Receiving The Worst Injury Ever Occurred In Football = Anthony Grant – his one centimetre long cut really was gruesome
Glad he's back training, love the comment about BarneyPersonally I was able to join in with the lads in training this week for some of the drills and this has cheered me up no end as again it’s a real sign that I’m on the way back. I’ve heard that the gaffer told them to go easy with the tackling on me but then that’s nothing new to our defenders, they’ve been told to do that with Barney since he arrived!!