Matt the Shrimp
aka Harry Potter
<span style='color:navy'>Slipperduke's Slippery Column #9
There's something inherently funny about the Far Right. They've been preaching their flimsy master-race doctrine for years, unaware that when your knuckles graze the pavement as you walk, you're not really in a position to talk about genetic supremacy.
Take Nazi Germany for example. Hitler, Goebbels and Goering. A mono-testicled, wheezy artist, a crippled midget and a fat, drug-taking transvestite surround themselves with homo-erotic imagery and celebrate the Aryan perfection of man. You can't write comedy like that.
Sadly, not everyone sees how silly they are. Some people actually listen intently and then go and vote for them, but hey - that's universal suffrage for you. What would help, perhaps, is if someone made a stand against the Far Right. You know, if someone just came out and said that it wasn't acceptable. For example, if a large group of Croatian supporters form a patchy human swastika at a football match, would it be asking too much for FIFA to do something about it?
In March of this year, the head of FIFA, Sepp Blatter announced that a new set of tough anti-racist rules were in place with immediate effect. "From now on they are valid," barked Blatter. "It's the end of non-compliance with what our society is asking us to do."
These weren't just empty words, we were told. There would be some pretty darned impressive action as well. Clubs were facing point deductions and relegations. "It applies to all competitions throughout the world at any level," added FIFA spokesman Andreas Herren.
Two weeks ago, Real Zaragoza fans popped up in the news. They'd been caught once again offering their customary welcome to visiting black players; a cacophony of monkey noises. Not just one fan either, lots and lots of them.
Now if Zaragoza played in England they'd be playing behind closed doors until season 2012/13. A couple of years ago, two young Blackburn fans made monkey noises at former player Dwight Yorke when he returned to Ewood Park. They were pictured on TV, pictured in the newspapers, named, shamed and banned. It left a nasty taste in everyone's mouth, but it was dealt with quickly and impressively by Blackburn. That's how to do it.
Sadly, this isn't the first time that Zaragoza fans have disgraced themselves. Two years ago Barcelona's quickfire striker Samuel Eto'o was subjected to continued monkey chants from the home support. Gloriously, the Cameroonian striker scored and then celebrated by jumping up and down, King Kong style, in front of his abusers. He was rewarded with a flurry of peanuts, hurled from the stands.
Zaragoza were subsequently fined by the Spanish FA though. Wait for it….$714. Yup, you read that right. $714.
Last season, Barcelona returned to Zaragoza and it happened again. How strange! You would think a whopping great fine like $714 would have financially crippled the club for generations and sent a clear message to all racists that their behaviour wouldn't be tolerated, but apparently not, no.
The monkey chants had been heard throughout the match, but they intensified when Eto'o went to the touchline to retrieve the ball. Bottles were thrown. Exasperated, he marched over to Zaragoza's black defender Alvaro, grabbed his hand and displayed it to the crowd to show them their hypocrisy. Still the chants continued. He stormed off the pitch, but was convinced to carry on by players from both sides. Barcelona scored moments from the restart, but Eto'o was roundly booed by the whole stadium for the rest of the game.
Zaragoza's fine from the Spanish FA for the night's events? $10,728. That's telling 'em. Nothing turns around the ingrained racist culture of an organisation like a barely noticeable financial penalty.
A month later, racing to bolt-lock the gate shut as the horse galloped into the distance, FIFA brought in their new 'tough rules'.
So has anything changed? Well, Zaragoza appear to still be in La Liga, points intact. Croatia, whose wonderful fans formed a human swastika in August, seem to still be plugging away in England's qualifying group. Thanks FIFA! You've saved the day again!
If Real Zaragoza was a dog, you'd rub its face in its own mess. If Croatia was a relative, you'd stop inviting them to family get-togethers. A combination of these two time-honoured punishments would be a good start. Getting Sepp Blatter's attention in-between a procession of free lunches is one thing, getting him to actually enforce his own rules appears to be another.
In mid-week, young England players complained that German opponents had called them monkeys during their under 21-clash Should we hold our breath and wait for their punishment? Erm, no.
Society has long since woken up to the atrophying effects of racism. When will football catch up?</span>
There's something inherently funny about the Far Right. They've been preaching their flimsy master-race doctrine for years, unaware that when your knuckles graze the pavement as you walk, you're not really in a position to talk about genetic supremacy.
Take Nazi Germany for example. Hitler, Goebbels and Goering. A mono-testicled, wheezy artist, a crippled midget and a fat, drug-taking transvestite surround themselves with homo-erotic imagery and celebrate the Aryan perfection of man. You can't write comedy like that.
Sadly, not everyone sees how silly they are. Some people actually listen intently and then go and vote for them, but hey - that's universal suffrage for you. What would help, perhaps, is if someone made a stand against the Far Right. You know, if someone just came out and said that it wasn't acceptable. For example, if a large group of Croatian supporters form a patchy human swastika at a football match, would it be asking too much for FIFA to do something about it?
In March of this year, the head of FIFA, Sepp Blatter announced that a new set of tough anti-racist rules were in place with immediate effect. "From now on they are valid," barked Blatter. "It's the end of non-compliance with what our society is asking us to do."
These weren't just empty words, we were told. There would be some pretty darned impressive action as well. Clubs were facing point deductions and relegations. "It applies to all competitions throughout the world at any level," added FIFA spokesman Andreas Herren.
Two weeks ago, Real Zaragoza fans popped up in the news. They'd been caught once again offering their customary welcome to visiting black players; a cacophony of monkey noises. Not just one fan either, lots and lots of them.
Now if Zaragoza played in England they'd be playing behind closed doors until season 2012/13. A couple of years ago, two young Blackburn fans made monkey noises at former player Dwight Yorke when he returned to Ewood Park. They were pictured on TV, pictured in the newspapers, named, shamed and banned. It left a nasty taste in everyone's mouth, but it was dealt with quickly and impressively by Blackburn. That's how to do it.
Sadly, this isn't the first time that Zaragoza fans have disgraced themselves. Two years ago Barcelona's quickfire striker Samuel Eto'o was subjected to continued monkey chants from the home support. Gloriously, the Cameroonian striker scored and then celebrated by jumping up and down, King Kong style, in front of his abusers. He was rewarded with a flurry of peanuts, hurled from the stands.
Zaragoza were subsequently fined by the Spanish FA though. Wait for it….$714. Yup, you read that right. $714.
Last season, Barcelona returned to Zaragoza and it happened again. How strange! You would think a whopping great fine like $714 would have financially crippled the club for generations and sent a clear message to all racists that their behaviour wouldn't be tolerated, but apparently not, no.
The monkey chants had been heard throughout the match, but they intensified when Eto'o went to the touchline to retrieve the ball. Bottles were thrown. Exasperated, he marched over to Zaragoza's black defender Alvaro, grabbed his hand and displayed it to the crowd to show them their hypocrisy. Still the chants continued. He stormed off the pitch, but was convinced to carry on by players from both sides. Barcelona scored moments from the restart, but Eto'o was roundly booed by the whole stadium for the rest of the game.
Zaragoza's fine from the Spanish FA for the night's events? $10,728. That's telling 'em. Nothing turns around the ingrained racist culture of an organisation like a barely noticeable financial penalty.
A month later, racing to bolt-lock the gate shut as the horse galloped into the distance, FIFA brought in their new 'tough rules'.
So has anything changed? Well, Zaragoza appear to still be in La Liga, points intact. Croatia, whose wonderful fans formed a human swastika in August, seem to still be plugging away in England's qualifying group. Thanks FIFA! You've saved the day again!
If Real Zaragoza was a dog, you'd rub its face in its own mess. If Croatia was a relative, you'd stop inviting them to family get-togethers. A combination of these two time-honoured punishments would be a good start. Getting Sepp Blatter's attention in-between a procession of free lunches is one thing, getting him to actually enforce his own rules appears to be another.
In mid-week, young England players complained that German opponents had called them monkeys during their under 21-clash Should we hold our breath and wait for their punishment? Erm, no.
Society has long since woken up to the atrophying effects of racism. When will football catch up?</span>
