Slipperduke
The Camden Cad
I've found an interesting anomaly on the official Premier League website. Now, admittedly I'm playing fast and loose with the definition of the word 'interesting', but stick with me on this. When you click 'contact us', instead of bringing up the address of the organisation, it gives you a search engine, so that you can try and solve your query yourself. Some people might argue that this is to spare the Premier League's staff a stream of letters from the kind of green-crayon wielding madmen who usually haunt their local newspapers, but I have a different theory. It's because Richard Scudamore has secretly relocated the organisation to an underground volcano base somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and is, even as you read these words, plotting the overthrow of the global banking community, seeking to replace our established power structures with nothing more than endless streaming videos of English football, downloaded directly to our brains. As I say, it's only a theory.
You just know that he hasn't given up hope of that 39th game, don't you? Even though it's such a dirty and despicable concept that most people reacted to it by gagging and dashing off for a long shower, he's still tinkering. Never mind the fact that an extra game would fatally compromise the integrity of the league, throwing an extra three points out for teams lucky enough to draw weak opponents, he'll be sat there today on a throne made of children's teeth, scribbling his plans in liquid gold. My word, he'll have been delighted with what he saw in Singapore this week.
Liverpool's tour can only be described as a runaway success. Even with Steven Gerrard stuck at home, busy proving that it's quite acceptable to repeatedly punch a stranger if you suspect that he might punch you first, there were still enough big names on display to please the legions of loyal fans who turned out. From what I've been told the atmosphere there was absolutely electric. Rafa Benitez even compared it to Anfield, which is high praise indeed. This was 21st century global football at its best. But then it would be, wouldn't it? It's Liverpool. Manchester United would be given a similar welcome and, to a lesser extent, so would Chelsea and Arsenal. But what about the rest?
Every other year, the Premier League roadshow pitches up in Asia for a four-team tournament and it is almost always the dampest of squibs. In 2005, Thai fans were left utterly underwhelmed by the prospect of watching Everton, Manchester City and Bolton Wanderers take on their national team, and who can blame them? Hong Kong in 2007, blessed with Liverpool's involvement, enjoyed approximately 90% capacity crowds, but this year's effort in China, with West Ham, Hull and Tottenham, kicked off in front of more empty seats than full ones.
Ensconsed in his underground lair, Scudamore is ignorant of some important facts. Asian fans are not idiots. They are not brainless wallets ripe for pilfering. They know their football, they have their teams and they are unlikely to be swayed by the sight of the league's mid-table detritus trudging through the humidity of a foreign pre-season friendly.
Scudamore, clad in black and laughing demonically to himself, won't see it, but here is what the 39th game will give us. Manchester United vs Hull in Thailand? Full house. Liverpool vs West Ham in Singapore? Full house. Blackburn vs Birmingham in Malaysia? Tumbleweed drifting across the centre circle. The plan is to open up the games to free tender, allowing market forces to decide the destiny of the swag. So that'll be the rich teams getting richer then? Scudamore may be rubbing his hands with glee at the joy that Liverpool brought to Singapore, but if he thinks that its representative of the strength of the whole league, he's very much mistaken.
You just know that he hasn't given up hope of that 39th game, don't you? Even though it's such a dirty and despicable concept that most people reacted to it by gagging and dashing off for a long shower, he's still tinkering. Never mind the fact that an extra game would fatally compromise the integrity of the league, throwing an extra three points out for teams lucky enough to draw weak opponents, he'll be sat there today on a throne made of children's teeth, scribbling his plans in liquid gold. My word, he'll have been delighted with what he saw in Singapore this week.
Liverpool's tour can only be described as a runaway success. Even with Steven Gerrard stuck at home, busy proving that it's quite acceptable to repeatedly punch a stranger if you suspect that he might punch you first, there were still enough big names on display to please the legions of loyal fans who turned out. From what I've been told the atmosphere there was absolutely electric. Rafa Benitez even compared it to Anfield, which is high praise indeed. This was 21st century global football at its best. But then it would be, wouldn't it? It's Liverpool. Manchester United would be given a similar welcome and, to a lesser extent, so would Chelsea and Arsenal. But what about the rest?
Every other year, the Premier League roadshow pitches up in Asia for a four-team tournament and it is almost always the dampest of squibs. In 2005, Thai fans were left utterly underwhelmed by the prospect of watching Everton, Manchester City and Bolton Wanderers take on their national team, and who can blame them? Hong Kong in 2007, blessed with Liverpool's involvement, enjoyed approximately 90% capacity crowds, but this year's effort in China, with West Ham, Hull and Tottenham, kicked off in front of more empty seats than full ones.
Ensconsed in his underground lair, Scudamore is ignorant of some important facts. Asian fans are not idiots. They are not brainless wallets ripe for pilfering. They know their football, they have their teams and they are unlikely to be swayed by the sight of the league's mid-table detritus trudging through the humidity of a foreign pre-season friendly.
Scudamore, clad in black and laughing demonically to himself, won't see it, but here is what the 39th game will give us. Manchester United vs Hull in Thailand? Full house. Liverpool vs West Ham in Singapore? Full house. Blackburn vs Birmingham in Malaysia? Tumbleweed drifting across the centre circle. The plan is to open up the games to free tender, allowing market forces to decide the destiny of the swag. So that'll be the rich teams getting richer then? Scudamore may be rubbing his hands with glee at the joy that Liverpool brought to Singapore, but if he thinks that its representative of the strength of the whole league, he's very much mistaken.
