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TrueBlue

Save Our Southend
Joined
Oct 26, 2003
Messages
22,721
Location
Hockley now on loan to Rayleigh
£10,000 in parking fines.
Car has been impounded 27 times.
£300,000 fine for throwing darts at the youth team.
Won £25,000 in a casino, gave £1,000 to a tramp outside the casino.
Threw tomatoes at a Serie A manager.
Threw Water Balloons at a Serie A disciplinary hearing.
Started a fight with 4 bouncers after breaking the "no touching" rule at a strip club.
The "bib" saga.
Had a £120,000 Audi imported, wrote it off within a week.
Had his friend approach girls in a nightclub and say "Balotelli will see you now"
Sent to the shops by his mother to buy essentials for the house, came back with a giant trampoline and a Vespa and a Scalectrix.
Has started fights at training with Kompany, Boateng, Tevez and Richards.
Was frequently seen at the AC Milan superstore while playing for Inter Milan.
Went on TV wearing an AC Milan shirt with his name on the back while playing for Inter.
Whilst playing for Italy under 21's, he is fouled, he sits on the pitch for 3-4 minutes ignoring the opposition, his team mates and the referee.
He is then offended when he gets sent off and protests about it.
Winks at Ferdinand after FA cup semi final and celebrates in front of the United fans.
After the cup final on live TV, he says " I have been sh*t this season, am I allowed say sh*t on TV?
Was stopped by police going around his hometown of Hulme with £25,000 cash in the passenger seat. When asked why he replied " because I'm rich"
Had to be physically hauled away by Zanetti for refusing to let Samuel Eto'o take a penalty that he had earned.
Once broke up with a girlfriend via text whilst she was presenting a live show.
Slept with an Italian model while his girlfriend was downstairs.
Drove his car into a women's prison because he wanted to "look around"
Has connections with the Italian mafia, he has testified in court at a Mafia trial.
Brought his Ipad on to the bench for Italy's international against the Faroe Islands because he wanted to play games on it.
Was seen in a Manchester shopping centre "hi-fiving" city fans the day after City had beaten United 6-1.
Became the face of a firework safety campaign a few days after setting his house on fire from letting off fireworks indoors.
Hands £50 notes to strangers when out shopping in Manchester.
Chanted "Rooney, Rooney" at the prostitute who claimed to have slept with Wayne Rooney.
Italy had just brought out a brand new home kit, at the start of the second half for their first match wearing the new kit, Balotelli came out in the old kit, claiming he didn't like the new one. Nobody else had changed.
Turned the landscaped back garden of his house into a Quad bike track.
Went in to Manchester Uni library and tried to pay off all outstanding book fines for everyone.
Adopted a stray cat which keeps going in to their training sessions.
 
Joined
Nov 4, 2003
Messages
15,091
Location
Rayleigh
FOOTBALL NEEDS CHARACTERS

£10,000 in parking fines. Meh!
Car has been impounded 27 times. Meh!
£300,000 fine for throwing darts at the youth team. NOB END
Won £25,000 in a casino, gave £1,000 to a tramp outside the casino. LEGEND
Threw tomatoes at a Serie A manager. LEGEND
Threw Water Balloons at a Serie A disciplinary hearing. LEGEND
Started a fight with 4 bouncers after breaking the "no touching" rule at a strip club. USED HIS NOB END?
The "bib" saga. NOB END
Had a £120,000 Audi imported, wrote it off within a week. NOB END
Had his friend approach girls in a nightclub and say "Balotelli will see you now" LEGEND
Sent to the shops by his mother to buy essentials for the house, came back with a giant trampoline and a Vespa and a Scalectrix. LEGEND
Has started fights at training with Kompany, Boateng, Tevez and Richards. Meh!
Was frequently seen at the AC Milan superstore while playing for Inter Milan. LEGEND
Went on TV wearing an AC Milan shirt with his name on the back while playing for Inter. LEGEND
Whilst playing for Italy under 21's, he is fouled, he sits on the pitch for 3-4 minutes ignoring the opposition, his team mates and the referee. NOB END
He is then offended when he gets sent off and protests about it. LEGEND
Winks at Ferdinand after FA cup semi final and celebrates in front of the United fans. LEGENDARY LEGEND
After the cup final on live TV, he says " I have been sh*t this season, am I allowed say sh*t on TV? LEGEND
Was stopped by police going around his hometown of Hulme with £25,000 cash in the passenger seat. When asked why he replied " because I'm rich" LEGEND
Had to be physically hauled away by Zanetti for refusing to let Samuel Eto'o take a penalty that he had earned.
Once broke up with a girlfriend via text whilst she was presenting a live show. OUTSTANDING LEGENDARYNESS
Slept with an Italian model while his girlfriend was downstairs. USED HIS BELLEND
Drove his car into a women's prison because he wanted to "look around" LEGEND
Has connections with the Italian mafia, he has testified in court at a Mafia trial. SORRY IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU IN ANY WAY, MR BALOTELLI. NOB END IS A SIGN OF RESPECT.
Brought his Ipad on to the bench for Italy's international against the Faroe Islands because he wanted to play games on it. LEGEND
Was seen in a Manchester shopping centre "hi-fiving" city fans the day after City had beaten United 6-1. LEGEND
Became the face of a firework safety campaign a few days after setting his house on fire from letting off fireworks indoors. LEGEND
Hands £50 notes to strangers when out shopping in Manchester. LEGEND
Chanted "Rooney, Rooney" at the prostitute who claimed to have slept with Wayne Rooney. LEGEND
Italy had just brought out a brand new home kit, at the start of the second half for their first match wearing the new kit, Balotelli came out in the old kit, claiming he didn't like the new one. Nobody else had changed. LEGEND!!!
Turned the landscaped back garden of his house into a Quad bike track. LEGEND
Went in to Manchester Uni library and tried to pay off all outstanding book fines for everyone. LEGEND
Adopted a stray cat which keeps going in to their training sessions. LEGEND

And you forgot the HAT!

Mario-Balotelli-ha_1789974b.jpg
 

Gremlin

Life President
Joined
Nov 13, 2003
Messages
5,148
Location
In the works
I read an interview with one of the City backroom staff who said that he once heard laughter coming from a changing room long after he thought everyone had left the building. Upon entering the room he found Mario alone and bent-double with laughter with his ipad on the bench beside him. The staff member walked over to see what was causing the amusement to find that Mario had downloaded the entire Laurel & Hardy back catalogue and was working his way through them.

I like Mario. At the moment.
 
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