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chadded

Not striking since 2004
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
5,896
Location
Portsmouth
If you had the opportunity to put 5 things into Room 101, and thus consign it/them to a fate worse than death, what would on your list?

Note* Ron Martin is not allowed on anyone's list. The same applies to Leyton Orient, Colchester United, and West Ham.

Mine would probably be this:

1. Belgium. I hate Belgium. My trip home from Germany to Essex is like this. About 15 miles driving in Germany. About 20 in Holland, 140 miles in Belgium, and 25 in France to Dunkirk ferry port. When I drive across a border, it's like, ooh, another country down, until you hit Belgium, whose motorway network is ****, and their driving standards make that Maureen bird from Driving school look like Lewis Hamilton (and I dont mean that they are slow, just incredibly **** at driving)

2. Lilly Allen. The ugliest bint that can call herself a celebrity. Honestly, I'd rather shag Vanessa Feltz. All Allen does is sing about how great she is in bed and how crap blokes are. You want to compain? Complain to my fist!

3. Leeds United. Enough said really. We all hate Leeds Scum.

4. Rugby. Also known as Rugby FOOTBALL. Even though they handle it. And the ball isn't a ball. It's an egg. Gee, fascinating.

5. Temporarily forgotten five. I'll come back to you.
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,481
1) Talent/Celebrity Talent shows, so the whole X-Factor, Strictly and I'm not a Celebrity pack. If this is what passes for entertainment these days, then we're well and truly naffed as a species.

2) Bob Crow. Enough said.

3) Dodgy ****ing Pharmaceutical companies. Large swathes of my job are spent trying to decipher facts from their PR ******** or hassling them for comment or clarification.

4) Hobbies that pose as Sport. Darts, Snooker, Driving and the like. Every single year we're posed with the same mundane argument about why Phil Taylor isn't properly recognised in the Sports Personality of the Year awards. Probably because it's not a sport, it's a game played by drunken lardbuckets in a pub, watched by drunken morons in a pub. What about Doris McDeirdre who's really good at Bingo? Should she be nominated for Sports Personality of the Year? No.

5) Richard Scudamore. Money-grabbing, arrogant gobshite whose fascination with Asia is at the detriment to the national team.
 

Bluesmanager

I'm a Barbie Girl
Joined
Nov 20, 2004
Messages
5,480
Location
Somewhere where the weather isn't killing me
Colchester. Pretty self explanatory, but just to clarify - BECAUSE IT'S A **** HOLE! (and that's not Colchester United, that's Colchester itself, it's a loophole I fully intend to employ and exploit).

Cancer. Blight on the universe, and it's really ****ing me off in epic proportions lately, so that can go to worse than hell.

The Refectory on my university campus. Look, you lot, I know it's a pain in the arse doing your job cooking for the best part of maybe a thousand students twice a day, but could you at least give me something I'll actually eat that's not pasta, rice or jacket potato based? Many thanks. Bye.

My friend's ex boyfriend. Oyt, you, giver her back her car you git, or you'll be sorry.

ATMs that charge. There's one on campus here - the best part of £2 for cash withdrawals. Am I the only one who thinks that makes no sense at all?
 

chadded

Not striking since 2004
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
5,896
Location
Portsmouth
Bob Crowe, I'm pretty sure, was my number 5.

Colchester as a town isn't that bad. In fact, it's actually quite nice. Or at least it was was I lived there from 2005 to 09.
 

MrB

Life President
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
17,501
Location
Desk
Probably things I hate more, but these were the first things that came into my head.

1. Slow walking people who randomly stop or change direction in the street. Get out of my way.
2. Ridiculously sized female sunglasses. They look stupid and if you're that stylish why do you need to cover your whole face up?
3. James Nesbitt - Grade A ****.
4. Halifax adverts. Everyone who's appeared in one can burn in eternal damnation.
5. People eating apples in front of you. It sounds disgusting, do it in private.
 

ldnfatso

Red Rep King!
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
6,390
Location
Southend
1. Chilean Miners - Bloody length's some people go to get some publicity.
2. Graham Norton - Nauseating ****!
3. Ticket Collectors on Liverpool Street line - Arogant c***s who are only employed as National Express won't spend money upgrading stations. Failed wannabe Policemen!!
4. Dartford River Crossing - Still not free despite public being told when bridge was paid for the crossing would become free of charge.
5. Michael O'Leary @ Ryanair. What will this tit not do to raise extra money rather than be honest and raise fares.
 

sammyboy

Cannavaro
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
539
Location
London
1 - Religion
2 - The middle east
3 - Janet street Porter
4 - X factor
5 - Britains got talent
 

MK Shrimper

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2005
Messages
52,348
1) Steve Wright (The DJ, not the mass murderer of prostitutes or the droll comedian).
2) The Carpenters
3) Boy bands (excluding The Monkees).
4) Being almost 40.
5) Romford.
 

Not In Mohave Shrimper

formerly Drastic™
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
8,833
Location
SS1
1. The Top 40™ & music charts based on sales.
2. People who don't close the doors between train carriages behind themselves.
3. Cucumbers.
4. The Bee Gees.
5. Sony E-Books / Amazon Kindles.
 

Swiss Tony

End of the pier show ⭐
Joined
Feb 17, 2008
Messages
5,697
Location
Life boat station
1/ Flat packs,christ they make me spit.
2/Women drivers(total cack)
3/Condescending Americans(colonial upstarts)
4/X factor and all that goes with it yuk.
5/University graduates in the Building industry,who think they know all the answers,but have not **** their nappies yet.
 

Cricko

Zone Owner ⭐
Staff member
Joined
Oct 25, 2006
Messages
31,901
Location
Leigh-On-Sea
1) Steve Wright (The DJ, not the mass murderer of prostitutes or the droll comedian).
2) The Carpenters
3) Boy bands (excluding The Monkees).
4) Being almost 40.
5) Romford.


Steve Wright is a legend....how very dare you!

The Carpenters are legendary..You have zero musical taste.

1) Any company where you have to select 15 numbers before talking to a human.
2) The adverts that tell you how you were given the wrong ladder....****
3) The Bible and any other god fearing religion.(see what I did there)
4) People that think materialism and money shows your worth in society.
5 ) Any of the social jet set male and female bimbos that visit the streets of Leigh at a weekend.
 

Cricko

Zone Owner ⭐
Staff member
Joined
Oct 25, 2006
Messages
31,901
Location
Leigh-On-Sea
4. The Bee Gees.


That is so wrong DS...without Saturday Night Fever ....we would never of had the disco era......now go wash your mouth out!

[video=youtube;IHWeuQyFouo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHWeuQyFouo[/video]
 

osymandus

Life President
Joined
Jan 20, 2007
Messages
5,352
Location
Here there everywhere
Steve Wright is a legend....how very dare you!

The Carpenters are legendary..You have zero musical taste.

1) Any company where you have to select 15 numbers before talking to a human.
2) The adverts that tell you how you were given the wrong ladder....****
3) The Bible and any other god fearing religion.(see what I did there)
4) People that think materialism and money shows your worth in society.
5 ) Any of the social jet set male and female bimbos that visit the streets of Leigh at a weekend.

I agree with all of these .. oh no im old !!!
 

Dick Bate's Protege

Minister for Equality
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
1,943
Location
In a Tory Wonderland
1 - Ken Livingston. I'd like to lock him inside a Michael Barrymore party.
2 - Harriet Harman. I'd like to lock her in a room full of sexist northerners for all eternity, the slut.
3 - Barack Obama. Overrated, British hating, mug.
4 - Woman's vote. A dangerous experiment that has failed,
5 - Wales. When God bent over England and shate Ireland, Wales was the cigar cut.
 

MK Shrimper

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2005
Messages
52,348
Steve Wright is a legend....how very dare you!

He hasn't realised the 1980's ended. Hang the DJ.

The Carpenters are legendary..You have zero musical taste.

Don't get it at all. Don't mind easy listening cheese but I just want to fill Karen Carpenters mouth with biscuits to stop her warbling. If only I'd been around at the time eh?
 

Swiss Tony

End of the pier show ⭐
Joined
Feb 17, 2008
Messages
5,697
Location
Life boat station
1 - Ken Livingston. I'd like to lock him inside a Michael Barrymore party.
2 - Harriet Harman. I'd like to lock her in a room full of sexist northerners for all eternity, the slut.
3 - Barack Obama. Overrated, British hating, mug.
4 - Woman's vote. A dangerous experiment that has failed,
5 - Wales. When God bent over England and shate Ireland, Wales was the cigar cut.

Five good choices,but rather harsh on Barrymore on choice 1,while spoil a good party.
 
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
Messages
22,733
Location
Canvey Island
1. Reality TV programmes or any such crap with "Celebrity" in the title.
2. Vanessa Feltz, no further comment required.
3. People who bellow down mobile phones, or play their music loud in the quiet zone on the train.
4. Beetroot.
5. And agreement with Cricko on automated telephone systems.
 
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