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bathroom
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Stories your parents tell your missus about you as a kid to embarass you !!
We've all been there fella's and ladies , took a new girl to meet the family and they get the old photos out etc and then start by telling stories about you as a kid and what you got up to . My ma has her favourite of many up her sleeve about me when i was living at home and she was out in the...- duncan bulgaria
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- bathroom bedroom brough carefully fro gown hes moons sleeve sock stairs stereo
- Replies: 2
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Spam e-mails
A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years ? Well, they're gone.' 'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened ?' His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself...- toellandback
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- bathroom bedroom exactly fro ist mails
- Replies: 2
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Does this only appeal to ladies' sense of humour?
This landed in my email inbox this morning and all the ladies I've shown it to have found it really very funny, so does it have the same effect on men or is the whole subject area such a taboo one that it's beyond you? The Facecloth I was due for a routine cervical smear with the Doctor...- OldBlueLady
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- bathroom cleaning didn dressed hes inbox wasn
- Replies: 73
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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How To Shower
How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental...- Harold Bishop Killer
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- admire artificial bathroom bedroom condition flash gown hes knob loud oil pile surrounding washing
- Replies: 1
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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How To Poop At Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a...- Harold Bishop Killer
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- ant avoided awkward bathroom brew camo convince flash flyer following ive junction loud mis pace ran rants remove similar somewhere speeding subtle suspicious unseen vince vulnerable
- Replies: 29
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Why...?
Email I got... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you...- sufc_tom
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- bathroom buildings burn dressed electricity faster fours helmets money moon oil outta pain paint quizzes reserved singing soup
- Replies: 11
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Diary of a Shrimper in Devon
Saturday (Early) The alarm went off bang on 5 and hit the wall at 1 second past, my reflexes are still pretty quick even at this god awful hour. Get up and stand on clock. Scream and kick clock. Scream louder as I remember I have nothing on my feet. Clock looks all smug as I limp to the...- Benfleet A1
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- attraction ayers bang bathroom bitter bon campsite chuck deceased doorstep dressed enjoyed flashed foo fur gods headed hoof hurts ish lived lose money salad shire snake stopped tents trance wasn
- Replies: 14
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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A Bit Of Fun ..........*Why?*
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when...- Cricko
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- bathroom buildings burn dressed electricity especially faster fours helmets money moon oil outta pain paint quizzes reserved singing soup
- Replies: 11
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Dump
Lowering the tone a bit here but it is an essential discussion topic IMO: To whom it may concern: Taking A Dump... I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more...- scrounger
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- advised audi bathroom chilli clinging core failing following harmony hurts imo japanese nam noisy odious scissors screaming shirt shuffle sing sinister socks stinging supply tolerance tone towels walls wipe
- Replies: 4
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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HAHAHA Lets All At David Nugent
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007450353,00.html No wonder he didnt join Everton, probably because when he was having the medical they kind of noticed his penis was shaped like a pompey badge!- McLovin
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- bathroom bound cup didn didnt exactly fro joi league ley premier pres worker
- Replies: 20
- Forum: The Big Dady's General Football Forum
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Kitchen / Bathroom Fitter
We'll soon be moving into a new flat and need a new bathroom and kitchen. Can anyone here recommend a person / company?- lee_sufc
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- bathroom fitter
- Replies: 0
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Ponder These
Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents...- HUTTON
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- ant asteroid bathroom bra buildings cracks didn disease disney doctors ead electricity ell fours heaven hes meat money moon oil professor rees singing soup stopped trap
- Replies: 6
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Handles for Double Glazed Bathroom Windows
Somehow, when I was shutting the bathroom window, one of the handles snapped off. It's only a crap bit of aluminium, but I really dont want money coming out of my deposit! This happened a couple of months ago. I duct-taped it back up, but it's still a bit wobbly. Just wondering if anyone knows...- Cheltenham Shrimper
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- bathroom deposit money somewhere
- Replies: 58
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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The case of the Curtains ...
Dedicated to SlipperDuke. Having to set the scene first..This occured about 10 years ago ..I had at that time spent many months decorating my bedroom in the then "Vogue" colours of the time...Beige on Beige. She was a Girl (and I use that term loosly) who I had known some 20 odd years. She...- Cricko2
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- bathroom bedroom bottles boyfriend brough chocolate customary dedicated desired eating gagging hidden ive postion repeated rushing taught wasn wipe
- Replies: 10
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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A guide on how to keep a girl...
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by...- blues_r_best
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- ant bathroom cries ditching ell faul introduce music shoes sneak sticking
- Replies: 11
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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S*it Story....
If this was me, I think I'd be quite proud. Alas, it's taken from another messageboard: No personal experience of this since about the age of three...sorrryyy but I did see this story online.... Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to...- chadded
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- bathroom beef bends biblical bolt brough carefully caused ched cleaning combined cruise curve daw deed deposit eaten eating elastic ell entertaining exactly faster fingers finishing gas handing itself knowing liquid pile prepared properly pulled pulling qui reaching res shirt significant similar socks spat spread stopped strongly towels two minutes voice walls washing
- Replies: 13
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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My Bathroom
Had my plumber come round last night to measure up my bathroom. Basically my current bathroom looks like it has escaped from darkest eastern europe or worse north essex. I have decided its time to update and have enlisted a family friend to do the work.I am basically having the whole thing...- DTS
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- bathroom darkest essex measure similar
- Replies: 7
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Council tax banding
I've just moved into a new property, and i feel my local governemnt is trying to rip me off with my council tax, therefore i am challenging the appeal. I know its a long shot, but did anyone move into a two bedroom flat in 1991, and if so, how much did it cost (in the southendish area...- Davros
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- bathroom bedroom cos dining driveway lou renting
- Replies: 4
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Ghosts
I was watching The Best of "Most Haunted" (I have a thing for the ex-Blue Peter bird and I love it when Derek gets possessed) just the other night. It took me back to when I was about 5 or 6 and I saw a ghost in our old house walking in and out of the bathroom on the landing in the...- Desert Shrimper
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- afterwards bathroom ched foo ghost lived teenage
- Replies: 10
- Forum: Homer's Bar
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Family Fortunes
The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on "Family Fortunes" Name something a blind person might use - a sword Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon. Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell Name an occupation where you need a torch - A...- Matt the Shrimp
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- bath bathroom bon cooking cowboy engine following moon topping torch walls
- Replies: 11
- Forum: Homer's Bar