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bathroom

  1. duncan bulgaria

    Stories your parents tell your missus about you as a kid to embarass you !!

    We've all been there fella's and ladies , took a new girl to meet the family and they get the old photos out etc and then start by telling stories about you as a kid and what you got up to . My ma has her favourite of many up her sleeve about me when i was living at home and she was out in the...
  2. toellandback

    Spam e-mails

    A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years ? Well, they're gone.' 'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened ?' His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself...
  3. OldBlueLady

    Does this only appeal to ladies' sense of humour?

    This landed in my email inbox this morning and all the ladies I've shown it to have found it really very funny, so does it have the same effect on men or is the whole subject area such a taboo one that it's beyond you? The Facecloth I was due for a routine cervical smear with the Doctor...
  4. Harold Bishop Killer

    How To Shower

    How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental...
  5. Harold Bishop Killer

    How To Poop At Work

    We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a...
  6. sufc_tom

    Why...?

    Email I got... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you...
  7. Benfleet A1

    Diary of a Shrimper in Devon

    Saturday (Early) The alarm went off bang on 5 and hit the wall at 1 second past, my reflexes are still pretty quick even at this god awful hour. Get up and stand on clock. Scream and kick clock. Scream louder as I remember I have nothing on my feet. Clock looks all smug as I limp to the...
  8. A Bit Of Fun ..........*Why?*

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when...
  9. scrounger

    Dump

    Lowering the tone a bit here but it is an essential discussion topic IMO: To whom it may concern: Taking A Dump... I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more...
  10. McLovin

    HAHAHA Lets All At David Nugent

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007450353,00.html No wonder he didnt join Everton, probably because when he was having the medical they kind of noticed his penis was shaped like a pompey badge!
  11. lee_sufc

    Kitchen / Bathroom Fitter

    We'll soon be moving into a new flat and need a new bathroom and kitchen. Can anyone here recommend a person / company?
  12. Ponder These

    Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents...
  13. Handles for Double Glazed Bathroom Windows

    Somehow, when I was shutting the bathroom window, one of the handles snapped off. It's only a crap bit of aluminium, but I really dont want money coming out of my deposit! This happened a couple of months ago. I duct-taped it back up, but it's still a bit wobbly. Just wondering if anyone knows...
  14. The case of the Curtains ...

    Dedicated to SlipperDuke. Having to set the scene first..This occured about 10 years ago ..I had at that time spent many months decorating my bedroom in the then "Vogue" colours of the time...Beige on Beige. She was a Girl (and I use that term loosly) who I had known some 20 odd years. She...
  15. blues_r_best

    A guide on how to keep a girl...

    1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by...
  16. chadded

    S*it Story....

    If this was me, I think I'd be quite proud. Alas, it's taken from another messageboard: No personal experience of this since about the age of three...sorrryyy but I did see this story online.... Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of weeks ago we decided to...
  17. DTS

    My Bathroom

    Had my plumber come round last night to measure up my bathroom. Basically my current bathroom looks like it has escaped from darkest eastern europe or worse north essex. I have decided its time to update and have enlisted a family friend to do the work.I am basically having the whole thing...
  18. Davros

    Council tax banding

    I've just moved into a new property, and i feel my local governemnt is trying to rip me off with my council tax, therefore i am challenging the appeal. I know its a long shot, but did anyone move into a two bedroom flat in 1991, and if so, how much did it cost (in the southendish area...
  19. Desert Shrimper

    Ghosts

    I was watching The Best of "Most Haunted" (I have a thing for the ex-Blue Peter bird and I love it when Derek gets possessed) just the other night. It took me back to when I was about 5 or 6 and I saw a ghost in our old house walking in and out of the bathroom on the landing in the...
  20. Matt the Shrimp

    Family Fortunes

    The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on "Family Fortunes"         Name something a blind person might use - a sword     Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon.     Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell     Name an occupation where you need a torch - A...
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