• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.


The Chameleon
Jul 5, 2004
Good day Ladels and Gentlespoons,
i have returned from a swift pint in the spread eagle, to chew over the day.. and the goings on and happenings of the day...

the story begins, at 11:28 as smiffy gives me a text, "Im outside".. i run down the stairs, and answer the door.. I said "I'll drive"...

we get in the car, we wait for the old man, then pick up a good friend...

so we set off (after getting petrol) around 12..

The heaven's opened, and many a skid was happening.. it really wasn't going to be my day..

we arrived around 1, in the town centre.. and spent 30 mins looking for a space. Luckily we found 1, and had to return within the hour.. right i thought, time for a quick coke.. meet the lads, and away we go..

we went to Yates.. and saw a massive Pig.. i mean, Police presence.. so we walked in, got a coke.. and discussed the game ahead..

to my horror, as i, TMWLT, Smiffy and another went to leave.. we were stopped by some thing wearing an illuminous jacket, and a painted black egg on his head.. he said he was a policeman, he could have fooled me..

he said
"You aren't leaving.."
me: I beg your pardon, i'm parked down the road, i don't want to get a ticket..

"not my problem.."

me: I couldn't give a toss.. i won't pay it, and when i go to court, you can stand there and explain why i didn't return to my car within the hour..

"oh, well errr.. you see.."

by the time he had finished the sentence (boom boom) i and the others, had used our agility to Parkour our way to the car..

we parked up near the ground, and was told by some yokel..

i mean local, that

"You...... canny park here, the MP's will.. (didn't understand these words).. blah blah.."

to which i said, thank you. I then put the handbrake on, and off we went.
Great, i thought.. in the ground by 2:30, what a result.
I was searched on the way into the ground, with Brighton Dave (Dave the shrimper) being behind me, his' search took longer than usual..

earliest i have been in a ground in years. I took my position, by the toilet sign in terrace one.. and met and saw the usual faces.. the excitement and tesion was building, smiffy couldn't control himself, and burst into tears.. the only consolidation, was that he was in true blue's caring arms..

First half was good, with us controlling the midfield, and sodje playing a blinder in defence..
the only down point, was the lad behind me, who was the most racist and politically incorrect person i have ever met..

he offered Iwelumo 10 pounds worth of Bananas for his' wife..
He continued to abuse everyone, with ****** Monkey boy etc.. seeming to be his' favourite.

then after half time, things took a turn for the worse..

After Maher's sending off, a few heated words were exchanged with the stewards.. a hail of missiles and abuse was throwen in their direction..

lighters, coins, chewing gum.. bras.. all sorts. Now the stewads/security, thought..
"well aren't these fans generous, they are giving us bonuses.."
unfortunately or fortunately.. a lighter hit one bloke, square on his' noggin.. now he was angry, and the reinforcements lined the front of the terrace.. (obviously he didn't smoke)
they were picking out people in the crowd.. which yes, did include many cross dressed nurses...

now, how tight is it in those terraces.. the worst mistake you could ever make, is attempt to pull someone out..

the rest they say is history, in the heat of the moment, with police stewards and fans.. i managed to see someone pinch the nose of a steward... classic..

so, the game continued.. we lost blah blah..

after the game, on walking to the car.. some oik, thought it would be funny to spit.. and shout abuse, at kids, yes kids.. and disabled people..

obviously, this infuriated me.. and many others, when the bloke was confronted.. needless to say, the smell of cow sh!t and farms was replaced by the smell of a human kind..

luckily the police felt his' collar, and he was removed..

now, that is the end of the story..

but many questions remain..

what happened to the cross dressers? When will they be released?
where did the brave hero go that taunted families and children?

Will southend win again?
Is true blue big?

and is CS J.. the best editor in the world..