CS J's Round up of events at Layer Road..

[J]

Good day Ladels and Gentlespoons,
i have returned from a swift pint in the spread eagle, to chew over the day.. and the goings on and happenings of the day...

the story begins, at 11:28 as smiffy gives me a text, "Im outside".. i run down the stairs, and answer the door.. I said "I'll drive"...

we get in the car, we wait for the old man, then pick up a good friend...

so we set off (after getting petrol) around 12..

The heaven's opened, and many a skid was happening.. it really wasn't going to be my day..

we arrived around 1, in the town centre.. and spent 30 mins looking for a space. Luckily we found 1, and had to return within the hour.. right i thought, time for a quick coke.. meet the lads, and away we go..

we went to Yates.. and saw a massive Pig.. i mean, Police presence.. so we walked in, got a coke.. and discussed the game ahead..

to my horror, as i, TMWLT, Smiffy and another went to leave.. we were stopped by some thing wearing an illuminous jacket, and a painted black egg on his head.. he said he was a policeman, he could have fooled me..

he said
"You aren't leaving.."
me: I beg your pardon, i'm parked down the road, i don't want to get a ticket..

"not my problem.."

me: I couldn't give a toss.. i won't pay it, and when i go to court, you can stand there and explain why i didn't return to my car within the hour..

"oh, well errr.. you see.."

by the time he had finished the sentence (boom boom) i and the others, had used our agility to Parkour our way to the car..

we parked up near the ground, and was told by some yokel..

i mean local, that

"You...... canny park here, the MP's will.. (didn't understand these words).. blah blah.."

to which i said, thank you. I then put the handbrake on, and off we went.
Great, i thought.. in the ground by 2:30, what a result.
I was searched on the way into the ground, with Brighton Dave (Dave the shrimper) being behind me, his' search took longer than usual..

earliest i have been in a ground in years. I took my position, by the toilet sign in terrace one.. and met and saw the usual faces.. the excitement and tesion was building, smiffy couldn't control himself, and burst into tears.. the only consolidation, was that he was in true blue's caring arms..

First half was good, with us controlling the midfield, and sodje playing a blinder in defence..
the only down point, was the lad behind me, who was the most racist and politically incorrect person i have ever met..

he offered Iwelumo 10 pounds worth of Bananas for his' wife..
He continued to abuse everyone, with ****** Monkey boy etc.. seeming to be his' favourite.

then after half time, things took a turn for the worse..

After Maher's sending off, a few heated words were exchanged with the stewards.. a hail of missiles and abuse was throwen in their direction..

lighters, coins, chewing gum.. bras.. all sorts. Now the stewads/security, thought..
"well aren't these fans generous, they are giving us bonuses.."
unfortunately or fortunately.. a lighter hit one bloke, square on his' noggin.. now he was angry, and the reinforcements lined the front of the terrace.. (obviously he didn't smoke)
they were picking out people in the crowd.. which yes, did include many cross dressed nurses...

now, how tight is it in those terraces.. the worst mistake you could ever make, is attempt to pull someone out..

the rest they say is history, in the heat of the moment, with police stewards and fans.. i managed to see someone pinch the nose of a steward... classic..

so, the game continued.. we lost blah blah..

after the game, on walking to the car.. some oik, thought it would be funny to spit.. and shout abuse, at kids, yes kids.. and disabled people..

obviously, this infuriated me.. and many others, when the bloke was confronted.. needless to say, the smell of cow sh!t and farms was replaced by the smell of a human kind..



luckily the police felt his' collar, and he was removed..

now, that is the end of the story..

but many questions remain..

what happened to the cross dressers? When will they be released?
where did the brave hero go that taunted families and children?

Will southend win again?
Is true blue big?

and is CS J.. the best editor in the world..


CS J

 

[BRICKTOP]

nice one CSJ like the post...

 

[Keep The Faith]

I would believe the whole story until the "i RUN down the Stairs Bit"

Complete Fabrication one thinks

 

[J]

Quote[/b] (Keep The Faith @ Nov. 26 2006,23:49)]I would believe the whole story until the "i RUN down the Stairs Bit"

Complete Fabrication one thinks  

feck off..

 

[TrueBlue]

Quote[/b] ]the story begins, at 11:28 as smiffy gives me a text, "Im outside".. i run down the stairs, and answer the door.. I said "I'll drive"...

Point 1 why was I not invited!

Quote[/b] ]the excitement and tesion was building, smiffy couldn't control himself, and burst into tears.. the only consolidation, was that he was in true blue's caring arms..

Point 2 Bless his cotton socks!

Quote[/b] ]Will southend win again?
Is true blue big?

Point 3 f%ck me we must be due a win then

 

[Van Whale]

The cross dressers got released late Saturday night, one on bail for throwing a lighter. A mate of theirs also got nicked for foul and abusive language after 8 coppers heroically tackled a the remaining guy with a nurses outfit after the game, and now has a banning order. Saturday was one big **** up!

 

[MC BLUES]

Even our players coach broke down, they had to get some taxi's back!!!

Just one of those freak days when it all went pear shaped.

We live on and revenge will be especially sweet when the cheating Ewes and their inbred followers dare to descend on the Hall.

 

[J]

Quote[/b] (BRICKTOP @ Nov. 26 2006,23:04)]nice one CSJ like the post...

thank you kind sir..

 

[Van Whale]

Quote[/b] (MC BLUES @ Nov. 27 2006,12:53)]We live on and revenge will be especially sweet when the cheating Ewes and their inbred followers dare to descend on the Hall.  

Cant wait for that, would be interesting to take a more european approach to the game and have the hall lit up with flares, write 'welcome to hell' on the south upper with bulls blood and smuggle a pigs head into east stand to chuck at Duguid when he comes within range.

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Van Whale @ Nov. 27 2006,13:41)]

Quote[/b] (MC BLUES @ Nov. 27 2006,12:53)]We live on and revenge will be especially sweet when the cheating Ewes and their inbred followers dare to descend on the Hall.  

Cant wait for that, would be interesting to take a more european approach to the game and have the hall lit up with flares, write 'welcome to hell' on the south upper with bulls blood and smuggle a pigs head into east stand to chuck at Duguid when he comes within range.

Or a bottle of whiskey like Barca threw at Luis Figo!

 

[DTS]

Quote[/b] (CS J @ Nov. 25 2006,20:29)]I was searched on the way into the ground, with Brighton Dave (Dave the shrimper) being behind me, his' search took longer than usual..

My search took longer than normal as they had to stand down the team of four that they had employed to search you.

 

[J]

Quote[/b] (Dave the Shrimper @ Nov. 27 2006,14:42)]

Quote[/b] (CS J @ Nov. 25 2006,20:29)]I was searched on the way into the ground, with Brighton Dave (Dave the shrimper) being behind me, his' search took longer than usual..

My search took longer than normal as they had to stand down the team of four that they had employed to search you.

the abuse you gave the bloke was great..

 

[DTS]

Quote[/b] (CS J @ Nov. 27 2006,14:49)]

Quote[/b] (Dave the Shrimper @ Nov. 27 2006,14:42)]

Quote[/b] (CS J @ Nov. 25 2006,20:29)]I was searched on the way into the ground, with Brighton Dave (Dave the shrimper) being behind me, his' search took longer than usual..

My search took longer than normal as they had to stand down the team of four that they had employed to search you.  

the abuse you gave the bloke was great..  

Should have seen the abuse I gave the steward by the tool sheds - Sorry toilets......Bunch of knobs.

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

Allowing for the fact, irrelevant of our league position, that we will have a 10,000 plus gate for the turnip heads visit on easter friday, i wonder what police presence essex plod will insist on having?. On departing terrace one saturday and briefly stopping outside to wipe the cow pats off my shoes i counted 10 police vans parked up, 4-5 patrol cars, a dog unit and 6 coppers on horses. All this for a sub 6,000 crowd!.

 

[MC BLUES]

Quote[/b] (Billy Bests boot laces @ Nov. 27 2006,14:57)]Allowing for the fact, irrelevant of our league position, that we will have a 10,000 plus gate for the turnip heads visit on easter friday, i wonder what police presence essex plod will insist on having?. On departing terrace one saturday and briefly stopping outside to wipe the cow pats off my shoes i counted 10 police vans parked up, 4-5 patrol cars, a dog unit and 6 coppers on horses. All this for a sub 6,000 crowd!.

They will need all of them and more, just to try and protect desperate Duguid.

What's the betting though that the tw&t will be injured and unable to travel?

All this crap from the inbreds about he'll be well up for it, yeah right!!!

 

[Prodigal Son]

Quote[/b] (MC BLUES @ Nov. 27 2006,15:11)]

Quote[/b] (Billy Bests boot laces @ Nov. 27 2006,14:57)]Allowing for the fact, irrelevant of our league position, that we will have a 10,000 plus gate for the turnip heads visit on easter friday, i wonder what police presence essex plod will insist on having?. On departing terrace one saturday and briefly stopping outside to wipe the cow pats off my shoes i counted 10 police vans parked up, 4-5 patrol cars, a dog unit and 6 coppers on horses. All this for a sub 6,000 crowd!.

They will need all of them and more, just to try and protect desperate Duguid.

What's the betting though that the tw&t will be injured and unable to travel?

All this crap from the inbreds about he'll be well up for it, yeah right!!!

He will not come and nor will the fans.

 

[pickledseal]

Quote[/b] (Van Whale @ Nov. 27 2006,12:16)]The cross dressers got released late Saturday night, one on bail for throwing a lighter. A mate of theirs also got nicked for foul and abusive language after 8 coppers heroically tackled a the remaining guy with a nurses outfit after the game, and now has a banning order. Saturday was one big **** up!  

i shared a cab into town with the nurses, top lads
was an interesting moment when i got a call on my mobile from a priest who I was helping out on Sunday. I'm not sure what he made of it all....

Shame to hear they didn't get to thier fancy dress party till late!