• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

MrB

Life President
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
17,501
Location
Desk
Seen this before but still makes me chuckle. May have to try to use a few of these in every day life, especially No. 30.

1. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer

3. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

4. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

5. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

6. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

7. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre

8. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta, whatever.

10. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease

12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Chicago at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other from New York 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph

13. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

15. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

16. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

17. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

18. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

19. The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

20. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.

21. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 50 cent-a-pint night.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" ad.

24. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

25. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

26. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

27. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

28. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

29. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

30. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal fax machine that needed a band tightened.

32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

33. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master
 
Top