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locks

  1. The Captains Suite

    http://www.southendunited.co.uk/news/article/2016-17/newly-branded-captains-suite-3712485.aspx So the Club are re-branding the 110 Club as The Captains Suite and will theme it around five iconic captains of the Club's past and want the fans to chose who those five are. Firstly, I love this sort...
  2. Kevin Hogg

    The Bizarre Summer Of 1983...

    I have never seen a thread on SZ that relates to the sacking of Dave Smith and his rather incredible reaction. Either I spent the Summer of '83 in a drunken haze? Or our manager was fired - but amazingly ignored the sacking and turned up to work for a period of time. Anyone remember a balding...
  3. How to spend $100,000

    A 33-year-old man has spent five years and $100,000 in an effort to look like his hero - teenage pop idol Justin Bieber Toby Sheldon is a songwriter from Los Angeles who has used Bieber's youthful features as the inspiration for numerous surgeries, including face fillers, a chin reduction and...
  4. hindle_666

    Memory Lane Rickys lost locks

    My Favourite player ever: :D http://www.livingxperienceconsultancy.co.uk/images/images8v2.jpg
  5. Can a footballer learn to control anger?

    Or for that matter can any human being learn to control anger? Well the simple answer is yes we can learn to control anger. But in general anger cannot be managed simply by someone trying harder next time to avoid getting angry (as some seem to think). I have never heard of footballers...
  6. Winkle

    Plane Crazy!

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that...
  7. Uncle Leo

    The Sideshow is over

    Ryan Sidebottom has retired from international cricket. Never again will we see his flowing locks in a Test or ODI. Not one of the greats, but a fine player on his day and he always looked angry. CHeers Sideshow.
  8. Slipperduke

    Scudamore Is A Mad Fool

    I hope you’ll ignore the sheen of cold sweat across my face today. I’m not ill, I’ve just been reading those interviews with Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore. It was a most disconcerting experience, rather like jumping into a cab and realising, as the engine roars and the locks...
  9. canada shrimper

    halloween fun

    A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP...
  10. Forever A Shrimper

    School Pranks

    Okay, so I leave school next week and my whole year is going to go mental. I, however, would like some really good pranks to deploy on the school and wondering whether some of the sick, twisted minds on here would lend a hand. Currently we are: - Ultragluing all the locks on the doors - Taking...
  11. Irish_Shrimper

    Car Security

    Hi folks, Just in need of a little advice. There's been a couple of cars knicked from around where we live, and the Uni itself recently - And last night as I was slowly driving out of our small residential area, two ***** ran up, punched in my back window, tried to punch in my sunroof window...
  12. the prison system!!

    are the jails too cushy? with the prison population at record levels which is costing big money there must be an alternative. my idea, take one of the scottish islands where its in complete sticksville ie no public within 30 miles or any island in england with the same criteria. at the...
  13. More Ipod help reqd...

    Ok, I've got a 60gig Ipod that has just (for the 2nd time) come back from repair with a spanky new hard-drive. Now when I go to sync it it locks up and tells me that there the Ipod HD is corrupted...now as I've said this the 2nd time that this has happened and I'm thinking it's down to...
  14. Is straightening your hair too gay for a straight man?

    People of the Zone, solve this debate... When my hair gets slightly too long it gets unmanageable, I've got ridiculously thick hair that no matter how short it gets cut, it fully regrows into "unkept mop" in a matter of weeks, So I took to straightening it before I styled it. This morning...
  15. Best way to dump someone???

    Thinking of years gone by, i thought to myself whats the best way people have dumped someone. Well the year is 1995, myself and a friend thought we would get a cheap deal to go away after the footy season finished. We got to know these 2 geordie girls at the hotel, spent a week buying drinks...
  16. The Source of Our Defensive Difficulties

    We all know that we concede too many goals from set plays, and this has been attributed to a lack of height on the part of our custodian and centre backs. Two of the goals in last night's rout have also been summarised thus: 'I blame the dwarf in nets'. But that's not it. What we lack is hair...
  17. Women are Crazy. Still.

    This will follow on from my previous thread about the crazy stalker, so If you didn't read it then this will make little sense... After telling this girl, we'll call her "Mandy", that I wasn't looking for a relationship and shooting back to Southend for the weekend, I got back here and nothing...
  18. Bluetonic

    Baldness

    Woke up this morning after a traumatic nightmare which involved me losing my hair. Was relieved to find the glossy locks still intact after a moment of panic. My question to the more follicle challenged members of the board, are you happy with your lack of hair? Is it something you learn to deal...
  19. Disabled Toilets

    For some unknown reason, my mate got the whole office debating whether or not it's appropriate for (non-disabled) people to used disabled toilets. Most people agreed that it's ok if there is no other option but me and my mate said that if convenient we wouldn't mind using it. The other week at...
  20. SuperCuts Hairdressers

    Has anyone ever been?? Spending hours getting my barnet done is such a drag and I've always been tempted to get it done at a station like Liv St or Euston at SuperCuts, where its really quick and cheap. however I'm always worried that they might ruin my Keegan-esque locks and I'll look like a...
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