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Ant from across the Pond
Aug 13, 2007
Limerick, Ireland
The latest installment of the Interview with an exile thread, is Steve's Christmas Special from Australia - Happy Christmas everyone!

Few piccies of the man himself...He loves posing for the camera, bless him :D

1) How long have you been an exile?
A) Since late October 2007! Nearly missed two full seasons. that doesnt include the end of 2006/2007 when i was in South Africa, or my beloved Boston and Cleveland either.

2) Why did you leave Essex?
A) For the sun, sea and sex. Well got two of the 3! After volunteering in South Africa I caught the travelling bug. since being out here a few other bugs have bit me - mossies, gnats, snad flies - one bit me right in the middle of the forehead!

3) Most memorable match during your time as a Southend supporter?
A) There has been a few - the man utd match of course and the norwich game when we drew 3-3 always springs to mind but it has to be the away trip at Swansea when we claimed promotion. Have never experienced anything else like it!

4) Whilst SUFC fans prepare their usual Saturday home routines of pub, Fish House, match, what is your Saturday routine when the Blues are playing?
A) Well being 11 hours head I am either asleep or crawling back from some god-forsaken dive of a pub! sometimes i combine both at the same time!! but fortunately my old man gives me updates from the match. Much to the hatred of my missus as i tend to leave my phone on loud right by her ear!

5) Where were you when Freddy put the ball in the Swansea net?
A) I was there, losing my voice and nearly falling down 20 flights of seats!

6) Favourite current and past player, and why?
A) Well having not witnessed the new crop this season I have to go for a southend hero in Barrett. Not the most technically gifted player but he bleeds blue and will die for the team. As past player I remember my first game was against Wolves in 1993? (i think) and Ricky Otto was the man. think I just loved the dreads!

7) What plans have you made for Christmas abroad this year?
A) A cheap one! i continue my travels in the new year and with no job has to be as cheap as possible. That saying there is always money for beer -which will be consumed in large quantities. But probably also the aussie tradition of BBQ and seafood. Will be my last xmas here so better make the most of it!

8) Favourite SUFC kit of all time?
A) The custard splat!!! Ok maybe not but I do love it for its originality! Apart from the betterview kit which i am actually wearing right now while typing this - need it for inspeartion. Is also my lucky shirt at home. But away not so much - have never seen us win a away game while wearing it! its why i stopped wearing it to away games!

9) Have you converted many people where you are situated to the Blues' cause?
A) I have been known to brainwash people - namely the missus who, little did i know before knocking boots, was a orient fan!! none of that love - a few backhanders sorted that out. Apart from that a manc and a scosue i lived with here look out for the results now. Soon we will have world domination

10) Hardest part of being exiled for you?
A) I really miss them cold Tuesday/Friday night games down the hall when its 0c. There is nothing quite like it. The roar of the crowd, the frostbite.

11) To get a chance to play for Southend United, sign a one year contract etc. would you eat a cute and cuddly Koala Bear, followed by Kangaroo meat with jelly for dessert?
A) Thats my daily intake of meat!! Them Koala's arent all that cute. Do you know that Koalas are the most dangerous animal in Australia? They hide amongst the leaves and when you are beneath them they drop from their perch to feed on you!!

12) Yorkshire Blue has established the SZ Hall of Fame. Who in your opinion deserves a spot and why?
A) There has been many great players over the years. But one for me is Chrissy Powell. Had the pleasure of meeting him a few times, including outside the millenium stadium before the playoff final and he also has a minute or two to spre to tale to his adoring public - even me!!

13) This Christmas, if every member of SZ was together, who would you get under the mistletoe with and why?
A) I really hope not Ricey!!! I know his tendancies!!! But think Old Blue Lady has a soft spot for most of the younger men on here so she will probably push her way to the front of the queue!

14) Name 5 members of the Zone, and if you could get them each a separate Christmas gift, what would you get them and why?
A) Ricey - a yellow pages. Think of the old xmas ad!
Cricko - one of those electric buggys - can imagine him terroising young kids and putting sticks in the front wheels of bikes as he rides past. Probably have BAD A55 number plate on the back
Toellandandback - That signed Southend shirt and season ticket he would truely adore.
Old Blue Lady - That kiss under the mistletoe she desperately craves.
Irish Shrimper - A minature set of whiskys. Its what every irish man wants is it not?

15) Season expectations?
A) After a good start with a small squad it is starting to take its toll now. Loan players coming and going isnt helpful but the permanent signing of Christophe is great and we will just need to push on after xmas. I expect mid-table really but we have the basis of a very good team for next season which can go further!

16) If you were in Tilly's shoes for a day, is there anything you would do differently?
A) Personally I think the man has done brillantly but every season since the dawn of time we always concede silly goals from set pieces. Would sort that out.

17) Favourite club captain in your time supporting the club?
A) Love him or loath him has to be King Kev. Lead this club through its toughest times and its bets times. Think people should always remember what he did for this club and what we won under him.

18) Away kit: Reds or Yellows?
A) Yellows!! no question. Think a giant yellow custard splat would be the one!

19) Are you a teeny tiny bit gutted to be missing out on Chelsea? How do you think this match will affect the rest of our season?
A) Yes of course. It is a great draw for us and every shrimper would love to be there i am sure. Think it could affect us like the Man Utd game did with players seeming to always have on eye on it. Yes its a great draw but lets focus on the really important bit - the league. This is just a bonus game but again another game to show we can compete with the best in the country on our day.

20) If we could sign any player in January (Within reason!) who would you open Uncle Ron’s cheque book for?
A) That creative midfielder we are crying out for. We have a very good strikeforce but they need the service. Or Harding.

21) South, East or West stand?
A) Aggh - now i used to be West stand for several seasons but with my season card for 3 seasons i was East. I am a bit of both. Like to share the love around!

22) To get a chance to play for Southend United, sign a one year contract etc. would you let Jo Brand give you a Boston Pancake?
A) Mate she could do what she wanted with me anything from a New York Chili Dog to a Cleveland Steamer. Is it wrong i am getting a bit turned on by it! Although think Dave would beat me to it!

23) Christmas song that makes you cringe the most?
A) Hate to break it to you but I love Xmas songs! Cheesier the better but saying that although not a Xmas song but was number one - Bob The Builder. Can he fix it? I dont ****ing care!!

24) If Aberdeen Dave won the lottery next week, and he asked you to pick him a housemaid to keep his new mansion clean, who would get your vote: Pat Butcher, or Peeeeeegggyyyyyyyy Mitchell?
A) Well I reckon he could afford both. Reckon he would get them both dressed up in french maid uniforms too while he laid there naked having grapes fed to him by Jo Brand in bondage gear. Who knows what he would make them do with their mops?!!
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