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  1. Shrimpers are Magic

    North Korea

    I am genuinely worried about this. Could we really be close to something unimaginable like nuclear wipe out?
  2. Benfleet A1

    Local Elections

    So far Tories making large gains Labour have taken a tonking UKIP have taken a really big tonking (wipe out) Lib Dems seem to have done ok without setting the world on fire. Thoughts?
  3. RHB

    This made me laugh

    Came across this on Wiki when looking for something else. So descriptive it's untrue: Egg Banjo Egg Banjos are so ingrained into the life of the Army that they warrant an entire thread on ARRSE; Egg Banjo's, God's Own Food A sandwich made from (usually) half stale white bread, spread on both...
  4. Westcliff Shrimper

    HELP NEEDED - Ipod and Itunes problems

    Hello all, I have approx 4000 songs on my Ipod, but the hard drive on my PC where all my music was saved, crashed and became unrecoverable. Have now fixed my PC but whenever I connect my Ipod through Itunes, it wants to sync and wipe my Ipod. Is there a way of getting all the MP3's off the...
  5. DTS

    Which type of Londoners would you wipe out first.

    I did this thead a few years ago and I cant remember for the life of me what the result was. Simple question. If you could wipe out the local types of one part of London for good which part would you go for and why. I really love London as a rule but I have never really liked North London...
  6. Slipperduke

    Liverpool Are Doomed - With Or Without Rafa

    Rafa Benitez deserves to be sacked. He’s had six years, hundreds of millions of pounds and Liverpool are worse off now than they were under Gerard Houllier. But if George Gillett and Tom Hicks think that his demise will make any difference to their stricken football club, they are very much...
  7. One for Rusty - You Know You Are A Taliban If:

    1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean." 5. You think vests...
  8. Slipperduke

    Fourth? Pah!

    Has there ever been a tag-line as profoundly underwhelming as the ‘Battle For Fourth’? Even for the English, who celebrate mediocrity with such enthusiasm that Tim Lovejoy has been encouraged to forge a career in broadcasting, this is a new low. Fourth? It’s not even a place on the podium. It’s...
  9. Bielzibubz

    John Cooper Works Mini

    Well, after much deliberation the boy racer, mid life crisis part of my next car choice won and this afternoon I pick my John Cooper Works Mini. I know some of you will consider this foolhardy but to tell the truth...........I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FEK :D With 211 bhp under my right foot, the...
  10. Lord Football

    It could be worse. We could be Grimsby.

    Now, we thought it was bad here. This taken, complete with gratutious swearing, from a Grimsby forum think almost sums up the feeling in our little corner of Essex..... but not quite ;) Now I'm as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this **** of a football club, but after this...
  11. MrB

    Question Do you check?

    Similar to last week's wipe up or wipe down discussion....... Discussion in the pub yesterday (not sure how it came about) as to whether you 'check' your paper post wiping after a dump. My process is that after 3 wipes I will check to see if I'm coming up clean or whether further wiping is...
  12. southend4ever

    Do you wipe standing up or sitting down?

    This is a real pub discussion that a few friends have brought up time to time! I for my whole life have been a stand up wiper of my backside. The last year or so I have sat down. So I put it to you Shrimperzone... Do you wipe standing up or sitting down and bottom to top or top to bottom?
  13. Southend Echo - they don't know what they're doing!

    Bailey given 7/10 in the echo today! Now, even taking out the incident where he proved himself to be a lying, cheating ****, the occasion clearly got to him and he was very poor. I think he gave the ball away every time he got it in the first half I would say 5 max for perfomance and minus...
  14. OldBlueLady

    Plymouth v Barnsley - One of our favourite refs does it again!

    The little arse wipe that is Gavin Ward is surely going to be courting controversy again after this...... http://www.skysports.com/football/match_report/0,19764,11065_3150207,00.html
  15. Stan Collymore Wants To Help.

    Stan Collymore has very kindly offered to help Southend in any way he can, as he has never forgotten what Southend did for him. I'm not suggesting that Stan could wipe out the entire tax debt, but if we could take him up on his offer, it may help quite a lot, and could make the balance easier to...
  16. cockles is back

    Games you have had to miss or leave early because you have chit yourself

    ok Ill start his one, but only on a couple of occasions, once in the west bank in 86, realised I needed a poo in them west stand toilets only to realise there was no door or bog roll having to make my mate Joey Toffs stand over the door and wipping me arse on me dads programme, leaving early at...
  17. DTS

    One SUFC game/day you could erase from memory happily.

    Following on from my single best day/moment thread I am now asking for the single worst game you have ever endured. A day so bad you would gladly wipe it from your memory forever. Mine was Boston at home on a cold and wet Tuesday night. Probably about 2003/2004 time. The lead up to the game...
  18. The General

    20/06 Pulls

    What an absolute ****ing arse wipe system this is!! Julian Bodkin (2584257) Julian is a RH Batsman and RH Spin Bowler. He is an attacking player with woeful leadership skills and worthless experience. He currently has respectable batting form, respectable bowling form and fresh fitness. Plays...
  19. Winkle

    Gave me a liitle chortle!

    I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber..... The Perfect Dump Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of...
  20. Charlie Brooker news...

    ...wipe! 6-parter with the Brooker focusing on news! http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/jan/28/charlie-brooker-bbc4-news-wipe I'm moist already!