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  1. Stats

    Battle Of The Tools - Prelim 4

    Second match up features Top Gears lead presenter Jeremy Clarkson (Boy Wonder) against ''comedian Graham Norton (keithjonescasual). Is Clarkson to smarmy for your liking or does Norton's ''humour'' not tickle you?
  2. Stats

    Battle Of The Tools - Prelim 3

    First of today's match ups is publicist Max Clifford (toellandback) against Eastenders resident macho man, Christian (Duncan Bulgaria). So has Clifford got too much publicity for ''celeb z listers'' for your liking or does Christian's mincing round the square annoy you more?
  3. Stats

    Battle Of The Tools - Prelim 2

    Match No.2 pits one of Society's great contributors in Vanessa Feltz's Father (South Bank Hank) against live chat show slurring ''Celeb Mum Of The Year'' Kerry Katona (Van Whale) Vote away.
  4. Stats

    Battle Of The Tools - Prelim 1

    Kicking off the Battle Of The Tools 2008 Competition is this interesting encounter between Essex boy Jamie Oliver (Mr B) and Saaf London lass Jade Goody (Jonny S) . I fear this one might be a landslide towards the Beast Of Bermondsey but the SZ public will have to decide that one. Just click...
  5. Stats

    Battle of the tools - prelim draw

    People of the Zone, We had a wonderful 42 entrants for SZone Tool Of The Year which means we need 10 Prelim Round Matches. Draw list and numbers as follows; Jamie Oliver - MrBeard - 1 Russell Brand - Hutton - 2 Jade Goody - Jonny Stokes - 3 Gordon Brown - Fat Shrimp - 4 Pete Doherty - Dave -...
  6. Stats

    Battle Of The Tools

    Yes thats right people we've had battle of the fit babes, battle of the sitcoms, battle of the horror movies but now its time for BATTLE OF THE TOOLS Your chance to have your say on who you think is the most annoying waste of space in modern society. As previous please put your nominations...
  7. Bob Cratchitt

    God bless America.

    A 15-year-old Ohio girl was arrested on felony child pornography charges for allegedly sending nude cell phone pictures of herself to classmates. Authorities are considering charging some of the students who received the photos as well. The unnamed student from Licking Valley High School in...
  8. MrB


    Seen this before but still makes me chuckle. May have to try to use a few of these in every day life, especially No. 30. 1. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer 3...
  9. DTS

    IT Help.

    Of on a course all next week so thought it might be prudent to delete the internet history on my PC. Nothing too bad on there but dont really want to give impression I am on SZ all day as meant to be on exam study. Anyone give me a pointer what to do. I thought you went to Tools at the top but...
  10. Benfleet A1

    A Little Help

    Does anyone know a Sealey Tools stockist locally. Halfords used to but have stopped selling their lines which is a pain. Anyone know who else stocks this brand?
  11. Robbo

    Tilly's pre-match speech for Friday's game leaked!

    :clap: IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't...
  12. Winkle

    Do you buy a load of cr@p?

    Im coming out of the closet and admitting that occasionally (on a regular basis) I feel the need to wander into what ever shop that takes my fancy and basically walk around buying stuff that I never ever use. My wife keeps reminding me about the cocktail shaker I bought last summer thats stuffed...
  13. mosquito ultrasonic noise device

    Below is an article on the new "mosquito ultrasonic noise device" that is apparently only audible to 25 years and under (approx), It omits a high pitch noise that is painful to the ears but supposed to be harmless. It has be designed to disperse young people that are hanging around areas were...
  14. DTS

    Thoughts from the East Stand.

    Right - Not going to talk about the game as there are a million threads on that however there are some other points I would like too touch on. Had a few drinks in the spread before the game as I have come to enjoy. Served by the ever friendly McNasty. Its fast becoming a Shrimperzone haven in...
  15. D-Day Posters

    The Football Club are currently in the process of distributing posters to businesses to highlight the decision day of the new stadium and to get people to attend next week. We've put together a PDF here so why not download it, print it and display it where you work either in the shop window...
  16. Anyone recommend a decent garage?

    Boring I know but can anyone recommend a good garage (not a main dealer, I ain't minted) in the Southend area? The one I always used to use started getting a bit slack with the servicing last year and the one I changed to has just taken a week to fit a sodding radiator. I'd do it all...
  17. My Views on everything since Oxford

    Well having read everyones posts (all 29 pages of them) and having had time to diggest a few things I thought, well I felt I needed to write as I have so many opinions on posts from posters on hear, I think what it does show is so many personalities in people on these boards, and I don't...
  18. Winkle

    Orient game

    If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't...
  19. Why its legendary to be a

    Why its legendary to be a man!!!!! 1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even...
  20. canada shrimper

    a little gem

    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them. "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and...